7 Rules for Attending a Drag Show During Your Bach Party

Growing up, we were all taught the laws of physics, the history of World War II, and how to solve for "x" in math equations. Something that wasn't part of our curriculum was drag show audience etiquette, especially during your bach party. Whether your bachelorette or bachelor party includes a drag show or a drag brunch, there's a way to enjoy the festivities during what will be a memorable time with your besties. In fact, hear it from the experts themselves: Houston's most fabulous drag queens share their tips for etiquette when attending a show. If you're planning on heading to a drag performance to celebrate your impending nuptials, heed the advice of Muffy Vanderbilt III, Blackberri, and Ondi so that you can have a blast and be a great audience participant at the same time.

Have Fun

If you're going to a drag show, you better be ready to have fun. "Scream, make noise, and turn up!" says Vanderbilt. "It gives us energy that we will reciprocate." Part of having fun sometimes means interacting with the show from the comfort of your own table or booth. Queens are here to entertain, so prep your group to bring the energy. It's going to be a memorable show, after all. "We love when you have fun, sing along, and clap and scream for us when we do something you love to see," says Ondi, who's known on stage as the "queer chameleon."

Don't Try to Become Part of the Show

When you attend a drag show, you're a guest in a queer space. The performers are there to entertain. In fact, they don't need help from any members of the crowd–similar to a late-night show audience. "If you were to go to a concert and jump on stage with Lady Gaga, you would be kicked out of the concert," says Blackberri (known as "The Bearded Beauty of Texas"). "As a patron, you are here to enjoy what the performer is doing and not try to make the show about you. The people are here to see the drag entertainers."

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Vanderbilt stresses that uninvited guests on stage become a safety hazard. "Even though it's your special day, you are at our shows," says Ondi. "Just because you're feeling hot and sassy doesn't give you the permission to get up on stage. Even more, to harass or make fun of the entertainers. I promise you, that will never work out well. If we bring you up personally that's different, but this is not your show. You're still our guest."

Bring Plenty of Cash

Queens work hard for their money, so be sure to come with cash on hand. "Tip us the house down boots (or whatever RuPaul says these days)," Vanderbilt exclaims, referencing the TV show RuPaul's Drag Race. "The more you tip, the more attention and time we can give your table and party!"

While drag may not always be these entertainers' full-time jobs, it's still considered work. "These entertainers are working hard to put on a show for the audiences and, similar to going to a bar, restaurant, or concert, would want [some] tips for a job well done and for their efforts," Blackberri says. "It takes a lot of courage to get on a stage in front of strangers."

Ondi stresses that more tips mean even better entertainment saying, "It may seem like fun and games, which is the point; but for a lot of us, this is how we pay the rent. Every single dollar counts, and when you support us, we will make you feel special and we will appreciate you that much more! We all love what we do, and when you tip us, we work that much harder."

Don't Tease Queens with Dollar Bills

The performers may stress the importance of tipping well, but that doesn't mean audiences should provoke them by either teasing or taunting queens with their cash. "Don't put your money in your [cleavage] or mouth and expect us to take it. We are still in a worldwide 'Panarabreademic,' [after all]," Vanderbilt says, semi-jokingly in reference to the ongoing pandemic.

The performer even went so far as to post a now-viral TikTok video showing just how disrespectful it is to tease a queen with cash. Blackberri adds, "Do not snatch or dangle your tips in front of the performers or put your money in your mouth. You would not do the same thing to the barista at Starbucks, so please extend the same respect to your drag entertainers. Plus, that money is nasty!"

Ondi adds a stern warning saying, "One of the most frustrating things in the entire world is when someone holds out a dollar and yanks it back. How is that funny? As someone who does this professionally, I promise you, if you do that to me, I will pretend like I don't see you and go perform for someone who is treating me with dignity. We are not animals."

Post About Your Experience

Social media is one of the most powerful marketing tools drag queens have at their fingertips, but it's not like they can post and perform at the same time. That's where audiences come in! "Take pictures with us and tag us on Instagram," Vanderbilt says encouragingly. "We didn't put on $2,000 worth of drag in a broom closet of an Outback Steakhouse, dripping in stones, not to have proof it happened. We want to share that day with you after as well."

Ondi agrees, stressing that photos of, and with, the queens should happen after the performance is done. "Taking videos during our performances is always encouraged, as long as it's respectful. After we are done with our numbers, we will always stop and take photos with you as long as it's not distracting from the show that's going on. Don't be intimidated. If you see us just standing around by the bar, come snap a selfie."

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Don't Touch a Queen's Wig

The "Golden Rule" is a fabulous rule of thumb when it comes to visiting a drag show. Queens are humans first, performers second, and expect to be treated as such without being touched, poked, and prodded by guests of the show. "Do not touch us without consent, or pull on our costumes," Ondi stresses. Vanderbilt piggybacks off of that sentiment and speaks for all queens when she says, "The most important [thing not to do]: Don't ever, ever, touch a drag queen's wig. If it looks expensive, it is."

Simply Be Respectful

Drag is performance art. While it's important to properly celebrate your upcoming wedding celebration, it's just as important to show respect to the drag performers helping you mark your wedding planning experience. Boiling it down to layman's terms, Ondi says that respect is all that drag queens ask for. "As queer people, we have had to face enough harassment in our day-to-day lives. It may just be one day or evening for you, but this is our livelihood. You respect us, we will respect you! Plain and simple. I think people sometimes forget that underneath it all, we are human beings with lives and emotions. We want everyone to have fun, but it should never be at the expense of our mental health."