How to Deal With Wedding Anxiety

The pit-in-your-stomach, can’t-sleep-at-night kind.
by Sophie Ross

Nerves manifest themselves differently for everyone—whether it’s a feeling of a pit in your stomach, a loss of appetite or an inability to sleep, you probably know what it feels like for you. And wedding planning anxiety is definitely real, and understandably so. Maybe you’re a shy bride and can’t stop thinking about how you’re about to host tens to hundreds of people to watch you make an enormous lifelong commitment (not to freak you out more). And the actual planning of the event itself is a whole other animal.

The good news is, there are tons of steps you can take to help combat that pesky feeling of dread and nervousness, and they’re all relatively simple. Our first piece of advice? Remember: This day is about your and your partner’s love and happiness, and that all of that planning stress will likely melt away the moment you lay your eyes on your future spouse at the end of the aisle (we promise). Read the rest of our tips below.

1. Say “yes” to help.

Of course you’ll want to be in control of every little detail surrounding your wedding—that’s normal. But if you’re feeling especially overwhelmed, consider handing over the reins to a dependable loved one (like your mother or maid of honor) who you trust to carry out your vision on certain tasks. Maybe you’re too stressed about the invitation suite to worry about finding a calligrapher, or you fear your lack of botanical knowledge is hindering your flower search—don’t be too proud to ask for or say “yes” to help. Your friends and family members will likely be more than happy to assist.

2. Give yourself some days off.

That said, it’s also totally okay to take a few days for yourself. After all, your hobbies and work are probably what keep you grounded—and if you’re consistently letting wedding planning stresses take over your life and get to your head, of course you’ll be feeling off. Even if you have a short engagement with a strict timeline, you should still be able to allocate at least a few days a week to self-care, which is much more important than picking out table linens.

3. Rely on your partner.

Don’t think you have to bear the entire load of wedding planning yourself. Your wedding should incorporate both of your visions, after all, and there are tons of ways to get your partner involved if you’re feeling like you’re doing just about everything. Most importantly: Talk to them about how you’re feeling and confide in them about your anxiety (they’ll likely be more than happy to contribute and be there for you once they understand). And don’t count out premarital counseling, which can be an immeasurably helpful resource for couples experiencing planning stress.

4. Learn to meditate.

While meditation isn’t for everyone, it’s something to consider practicing while your anxiety is spiking during wedding planning. Maybe that means taking 10 minutes to yourself every morning—whether it involves closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing or rolling out a mat to do some vinyasa poses you learned in yoga class. It’ll do wonders for your peace of mind, especially if you’re feeling jittery on your actual wedding day (yes, that’s totally normal, and no, it’s not cold feet). Try to allocate time for yourself into your day-of schedule to make sure you’re feeling A-okay.

5. See a professional.

If you feel like your anxiety has escalated beyond your control (it happens to the best of us), it’s incredibly helpful to see someone removed from your personal life with an unbiased point of view. While confiding in a close friend or family member is always helpful—and highly recommended—a reputable therapist can give you real, tangible strategies for dealing with your wedding planning stress, and can do wonders for your perspective. (Like how little those table linens actually matter in the grand scheme of things.)

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