How to Answer a Wedding Proposal, Beyond a Resounding "Yes!"

The candles are lit, there's an undeniable romance in the air and maybe you're awaiting your partner to pop the very important question. But maybe, just maybe, you have no clue about the incoming surprise marriage proposal. Either way, knowing how to answer the proposal when it arrives is helpful—beyond just the resounding "yes!"

"Ideally, a proposal shouldn't come completely out of left field—at least not emotionally," Caitlin Slavens, a relationship psychologist explains. "That said, life doesn't always come with a script. Sometimes, even when you've talked about marriage, the actual moment can catch you off guard."

Even if you've done your due diligence to communicate with your partner—especially about where you both stand on marriage—knowing what to say during a proposal can sometimes get lost in the big moment. So before you start planning how to announce your engagement, do a little planning on how you'll answer with our tips, below.

In this article:

• How to Answer a Proposal With Love
• What to Say When Accepting a Marriage Proposal
• What to Say When Not Accepting a Marriage Proposal

How to Answer a Proposal With Love

Remember: A proposal is one of the biggest questions of your life, and big questions don't always need an immediate answer, Slavens adds. But If you're ready to say yes wholeheartedly, here are some ways to make the moment lovingly yours.

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Reflect Their Words Back to Them

If you're unsure of what to say other than "yes," it's always a good idea to use this trick: Reflect their words back to them. For example, if they just poured their heart out to you, respond with something like, "I couldn't imagine a better partner in life. Yes, a thousand times yes."

Add a Personal Touch

Another idea? Bring in a shared memory! Slavens suggests saying something like, "Remember when we said we couldn't imagine life without each other? This is me saying I still feel that way. Yes!"

Keep It Playful

If your relationship thrives on humor, Slavens says, you should feel free to lean into it. For a cute way to accept a proposal, you could say something like, "I guess now's the time to tell you I've been practicing writing your last name. So yes!"

Speak From the Heart

"This one is my favorite," Slavens explains, "Just speaking from the heart. 'I've been waiting my whole life for someone like you. Of course, yes!'"

Celebrate Together

You could also make this a moment of not just you saying "yes," but a moment of feeling like you're celebrating your togetherness as a couple. You could even say something like, "Yes! Let's do this together."

What to Say When Accepting a Marriage Proposal

Do you know you're absolutely ready for marriage? Maybe you and your partner have even planned a double marriage proposal or you're thinking a sneaky one might happen soon. Here are three ways to make your "yes!" all the more special.

• Use their name: Maybe you and your partner have pet names like baby or babe or sweetheart. This is, obviously, so cute. But when accepting a marriage proposal, make sure to use their name. "Saying 'yes' directly to them, like 'Yes, [name], I will marry you,' can make the moment feel incredibly personal," Slavens says.
• Acknowledge the courage it took to ask: We get it—a proposal can be nerve-wracking. So when your partner has gotten down on one knee or popped a question in some other way, it's nice to acknowledge the courage it took them to ask. According to Slavens, you could say something like, "Thank you for asking me this. Yes, I'm so ready to build a life with you."
• Add a vision for your future: Another key moment to include in how to accept a proposal? We (and Slavens) think it can be meaningful to show you're already looking ahead to your future together. Try saying something like, "Yes, and I can't wait to start forever with you."

What to Say When Not Accepting a Marriage Proposal

Sometimes, the timing isn't quite right—or maybe marriage just isn't what you want right now. Either way, when not accepting a marriage proposal, you can respond with love, care and respect while being open and honest. Here are a few of the best ways to reject a proposal.

Acknowledge Their Feelings First

This might feel like a hard moment, but it can be helpful to acknowledge their feelings first. Saying something like, "Wow, this means so much to me, and I love you deeply. But I need a little more time to think about this."

Focus On Timing, Not the Person

Maybe you're not ready to get engaged right now, but it's not a never. If that's you, consider saying something like, "I love being with you, and I see us having a future together. I'm just not ready for this step right now."

Be Honest, But Gentle

According to Slavens, one of the most important things you can do in this moment is to be honest but gentle. Say something to the effect of, "This is so meaningful to me, and I want us to be sure we're both on the same page. Can we talk about this more before I give you an answer?"

Share Your Hopes for the Relationship

Another tip if you're just not ready for an engagement, yet? Share your hopes for the relationship. Slavens suggests a phrase like, "I want you to know how much I love you. Marriage is a big step, and I want to make sure we're both fully ready."

Keep the Door Open

If you truly think there is one day in the future, say something to keep the door open. A good example is: "This is such a beautiful moment, and I hope we'll get there one day. I just need a little more time."

The goal here is to be clear and kind, Slavens adds. After all, a proposal is very vulnerable, and even if your answer isn't a definitive "yes!" your response can still be full of care and respect.