6 Signs You're Being a Bridezilla to Your Bridesmaids

Even if you don't realize it, you could be giving off some 'zilla energy to your wedding party. Here's how you know it's gone too far.
bride in a veil facing away from the camera
Gades Photography/Unsplash
The Knot
Updated Oct 19, 2018

It's not uncommon for even chillest people to switch into drill-sargeant mode when, all of a sudden, they have a wedding to plan. While there will be some stressful moments deserving of your frustration, barking orders or having a complete meltdown just isn't necessary. And who gets to bear the brunt of any of these freakouts? Probably your wedding party. It's possible they love you too much to confront you about it, so do your part to keep yourself in check and put the little things into perspective. Here are a few signs you're starting to act lik a bridezilla to your wedding party.

1. You're insisting they wear a certain bridesmaid dress you know they don't like.

You're the bride, so yes, technically you get the final say on your party's day-of look. But wouldn't you rather they be relaxed and happy because of how beautiful they feel? Plus, they're the ones paying for the dresses, so at least give them a chance to choose a brand they like, one shade from a set color palette or a custom neckline or silhouette from a selection of dresses you've okayed.

2. You're inviting everyone you've ever met to your bridal shower and won't budge on the guest list.

Remember, a prewedding shower isn't typically a huge affair—not that it can't be, but it's uncommon to make the shower hosts accommodate more than 25–30 people. That said, if you're dead-set on a certain guest list, tell any bridesmaids hosting the shower they can enlist a few more hosts to help chip in and pull things together.

3. You don't talk about anything but your wedding in front of them.

As obsessed as you may be with the amazing celebration you're planning (not to mention the fun of married life to come), you absolutely must give your squad a break from wedding talk. They love you, they're excited for you, they can't wait for your wedding day—but there's only so much "me, me, me" chatter anyone can take. Treat friends to one-on-one time and ask them about their work, love lives, family and well being. Trust us, when it comes time for them to tie the knot, you'll want them to do the same for you.

4. You're forcing them to wrap and label over 200 wedding favors for five hours on a Saturday night.

You need help, and that's what your wedding party is there for (they should expect to pitch in where needed when they accept their role as a bridesmaid). But unless the wedding is the following day—which you definitely shouldn't let happen—allow your friends to go home and finish up another day. Everyone has their limits. By the way, to make the more menial DIY tasks more palatable, order in some take out, open a few bottles of wine and turn up the volume on your favorite playlist.

5. You won't accept any other bachelorette party idea other than a pricey weekend trip.

The bachelorette party is typically a sort of gift from your wedding party to you, so while it should be something you'll love, demanding an expensive vacation is crossing the line. In a perfect world, your friends would love to take you (and themselves) on an over-the-top trip, but it simply isn't feasible for everyone. Suggest more affordable accommodations, a destination closer to home or a shorter stay.

6. You tell them they need professional hair and makeup done without offering to cover the costs.

If professionally done hair and makeup is at the top of your list, you should also be willing to treat the whole squad to it. Remember, your bridesmaids are already shelling out money for attire, accessories, travel and accommodations, so it's really uncool to spring a cost on them at the last minute and say it's non negotiable. You could always cover this expense as your bridesmaid thank-you gift.

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