30 Questions to Build Trust in a Relationship

Canoodling on the couch, exploring new locales, ordering apps and desserts at your favorite hangout—these are all great ways to connect with your partner. But sometimes, it's the tiniest details and asking the right questions to build trust in a relationship that can bring you two even closer together.

"Curiosity is the beginning of intimacy," says Sanam Hafeez, Psy.D, a New York City-based neuropsychologist and director of Comprehend the Mind. "When you ask questions, you show a genuine interest in learning about the other person. It gives you a window into their experiences, who they were before they met you, and human nature wants to be discovered."

Ahead, we're exploring why fostering trust and intimacy is key in a healthy partnership and sharing 30 deep questions to ask your partner to build trust.

In this article:

• Why Is Trust Important in a Relationship?
• The Best Questions to Build Trust in a Relationship

Why Is Trust Important in a Relationship?

Trust is part of the core foundation of any relationship, including a romantic one. Without trust, you may question the depth of the relationship, feel a lack of safety within the partnership, or question the other's actions and motives. With trust, you and your partner have a sense of established honor and integrity.

"Relationships thrive with trust, honesty, integrity and good boundaries," notes Jennifer Kelman, LCSW, a licensed clinical social worker and mental health expert at JustAnswer. "These relationships can also thrive because there can be autonomy within the connection…and the connection is maintained even through autonomous times."

Basically, trust lets you easily dismiss those "what if" thoughts, whether you're worrying about your connection, the love between you two, fidelity or beyond. It can also help foster good communication with your partner when the doors are open for speaking freely with one another. When you build trust in a relationship, you have freedom, safety, and a desire to continue nurturing your bond.

The Best Questions to Build Trust in a Relationship

So what are the best questions to ask to build trust in a relationship? Our actions can speak a thousand words, but asking the right questions can strengthen your relationship, too. Here are some great conversation starters to get you going.

1. Have you ever had your trust broken in a past relationship? How did that affect you?
2. What's one of your biggest fears regarding relationships, and how can we work together to ease that fear?
3. What makes you feel most loved and valued in a relationship?
4. How long was your last relationship? What were the issues that led to things ending?
5. How do you define a long-lasting, healthy relationship?
6. What's something you wish your past partners had understood about you?
7. How do you prefer to receive feedback or criticism in relationships?
8. What does commitment mean to you?
9. What's a mistake you've made in a past relationship that you want to avoid repeating?
10. How do you define forgiveness in a relationship?
11. What's something you're still healing from?
12. What would you say are your core morals?
13. How do you like to be supported during tough times?
14. What sort of relationships were modeled for you growing up?
15. How has your upbringing shaped your views on trust in relationships?
16. Do you have any fears of being abandoned or rejected?
17. What's one promise you would never break in a relationship?
18. What is one of the biggest lessons you've learned in life?
19. What is something you're still figuring out?
20. What does being vulnerable mean to you?
21. What's one thing you hope never changes between us?
22. How do you see us handling life's challenges together?
23. Do you find it easy or difficult to ask for help from me? Why?
24. What's one thing that makes you feel truly understood?
25. How do you think we can continue to grow together as a couple?
26. What makes you feel the most connected to me?
27. What's something I do that makes you feel deeply loved?
28. What's your favorite way to celebrate milestones together?
29. What's a shared goal we can work toward as a team?
30. What's something we've overcome together that you're proud of?