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Why Asking Your Partner's Parents for Their Blessing Will Never Go Out of Style

It's an important, courteous gesture for whoever plans to propose.
engaged couple
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maggie seaver the knot wedding planning expert
by Maggie Seaver
maggie seaver the knot wedding planning expert
Maggie Seaver
Wedding Planning Expert
  • Maggie Seaver is an Associate Digital Editor at RealSimple.com.
  • Maggie writes about life, career, health, and more.
  • Maggie was an editor at The Knot from 2015 to 2019.
Updated Feb 06, 2019

Some marriage etiquette and conventions are totally outdated (see you later, dowries!), and those that have stood the test of time—like wearing a white wedding dress or not seeing each other before the ceremony—are no longer seen as hard-and-fast rules. Because traditions are beautiful, but so are private, emotional first looks and colorful wedding outfits. In other words, having the power to choose which traditions to skip and which to incorporate into your wedding is such an incredible way to personalize your day.

But there are certain things that'll never go out of style in our book, like asking for your partner's parents' blessing before proposing or deciding to get married. Why? Even though marriage is technically a commitment between you two, your decision to join hands inevitably affects both of your families—it's a big deal for them too. Seeking a thumbs-up from your partner's parents (or another significant loved one, depending on their family situation, of course) is an important, courteous gesture for whoever plans to propose.

And we know even this age-old etiquette tidbit could use an update to accommodate our modern social rule book: If asking for permission seems old-fashioned to you, ask for their blessing and well-wishes for the perfect compromise (trust us—it will score you big points with your future in-laws!).

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