How to Tell Family and Friends About Your Engagement Before Posting

Because Mom will absolutely go ballistic if she finds out on Instagram.
Taylor Carson - The Knot Contributor.
Taylor Carson
Taylor Carson - The Knot Contributor.
Taylor Carson
The Knot Contributor
  • Taylor writes wedding venue roundups for The Knot.
  • Taylor was formerly the Assistant Managing Editor at Philadelphia magazine, and she continues to freelance for Philadelphia’s lifestyle and wedding verticals.
  • She received her degree in journalism, with a minor in English, from Temple University.
Updated Jun 07, 2023

You're newly engaged—now what? While the day of your proposal is one of life's most amazing moments, after relishing it with your love, your next step is to share the news with your nearest and dearest. But deciding how to announce your engagement to family and friends can be a feat in and of itself.

Fortunately, we're here to help you narrow down who to announce your engagement to before posting those too-cute proposal photos to your social feeds. We'll also give you ideas for doing so in a way that feels appropriate—and meaningful—for you. Whether you prefer to deliver the news in a straightforward way or in a manner as extra as you envision your wedding day, find inspiration below.

In this article:

Who to Tell About an Engagement Before Posting on Social Media

We get it—the temptation to share a stunning ring photo on Instagram with a cute caption or your proposal video on TikTok right away is real, especially when you're still riding the high of saying "yes" or popping the question. However, the most important people in your life should be told first to prevent them from finding out online. Keep this list in mind before heading to social media, and know that your own list will vary based on your personal experiences and relationships.

Your Parents

While everyone's life situation is different, your parents or the parent figures in your lives should be the first people you share the big news with if you have a relationship with them. Even if they are in on the proposal, they will likely be eagerly awaiting your reactions and want to take part in that special moment with you.

Your Kids

If you have children, they should also be at the very top of your must-tell list and may even come before your parents in announcement order. The decision will be based on factors personal to your family, such as your kids' relationship with your partner, their ages and your relationship with your parents. Regardless of the order you choose, there is no wrong way to go about it as long as you feel like it's right for you.

Your Siblings

Siblings are the people we experience the most of life's milestones with, so it's only right that they are looped in on the milestone that is your engagement. This is especially true if you are incredibly close—in age or relationship. However, if you have a strained relationship with any siblings, the decision to share your engagement may not be an easy one. Do what you feel comfortable with, such as sending a text or having a parent share the news on your behalf.

Your Closest Friends

It goes without saying that your closest friends should be made aware before you post online. Similar to your parents, even if they are in the loop already, they are going to be overly excited to hear from you afterward.

Your Extended Family

The lengths you go to share the news with your extended family will certainly depend on your relationships with them. Consider your bond with your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews and beyond before posting. Also, if possible, it's a good practice to check with your parents about who should be told—out of respect for your family, they may ask you to reach out to someone you might otherwise overlook.

How to Tell Family and Friends About Engagement Before Posting

Now that you've read more about who to tell, let's move on to how you should make the announcement. There are so many ways to go about it, and the method you choose will be based on your preferences. Do you want to be straightforward, surprising, fun, over the top or a mix of all four? Based on the amount of people you have to tell, you can change it up between each person or group if you'd like. Once again, the choice is yours.

Call or Facetime Them

For those who prefer simplicity, a call or Facetime can absolutely suffice. This method may even be necessary if you are traveling when you or your significant other pops the question. One major benefit of calls and Facetimes is they can be as long or short as you'd like, and your excitement will still radiate over audio and video.

Visit Them in Person

Visiting your loved ones in person is another great option. In fact, if you want to go the extra mile, you can even gather multiple family members or friends together in the same setting to share the news all at once—an event that could very well turn into its own celebration, especially if you suspect it will be a happy surprise.

If you and your partner are close with your parents or future parents-in-law, an in-person visit would surely be appreciated. Even if you call them first, they will want to see you soon after you say "yes" to take part in the momentous occasion.

Take Them Out to Brunch, Lunch or Dinner

Take an in-person announcement up a notch by planning a brunch, lunch or dinner date to share the news. You could go this route for anyone on your list—your parents, siblings, best friends and more. If you love to dine out, this is a joyful way to share the news while imbibing and noshing on your favorite cuisine.

Host Them at Your House

If you like to host and have the space to do so, you can invite over any number of your family members and friends for a get-together. You can let them know you have news to share, or you can trick them into thinking the hang is related to something else. What's more, you can make it as uncomplicated or extravagant as you'd like. If you opt for the latter and go all out on decor, food and drinks, the task could prove to be a good mini-course in wedding planning.

Text Them a Photo of Your Ring or Proposal

Another straightforward alternative, there is nothing wrong with texting a photo of your ring (who doesn't love a ring selfie?) or proposal to your closest friends and family members as long as you believe it's appropriate for your relationship and the recipient wouldn't feel slighted. This can also be a great route for informing distant family members or friends who you are close with but may not want to call.

Surprise Them With a Gift

Take your proposal announcement to the next level by delivering a gift to share the news. This could be especially meaningful for a parent or a sibling who supports your relationship but may not see your engagement coming. For example, you could frame and wrap an engagement photo, only to share the news once they open it and realize what it means. If you have a good sense of humor, you could even present a gag gift to amplify the level of surprise.

Send Them Your Proposal Video

In this day and age, it is very common for someone—whether it be your partner, a nearby friend or family member, or a passerby—to capture your proposal on video. If you have a video of the big moment, sending it out via text or email can be a wonderful way to share the news with long-distance friends and relatives. While they likely would have loved to be there in person, the authenticity of the moment will be visible to them. And that's just about the next best thing.

Send a Group Text or Email to Your Friends and Family Separately

If you have a group of besties, chances are you have a go-to group chat. You may even have one with your immediate family. Using the group chat as a method for sharing your proposal can be convenient if you're traveling or not with your loved ones when the moment happens. The influx of replies that comes with such an announcement can be thrilling; however, like texting a single person, you should first consider if a group text will come off as exciting or insulting to the members of the chat.

Up Next
  • Wedding proposal in vinyl record music store
    What You Should Know About a Proposal Photographer