Read These Engagement Ring Shopping Tips Before You Try on Rings

An expert weighs in on where to find inspo, what questions to ask, how to determine your stone shape and more.
Elle Cashin headshot
by
Elle Cashin
Elle Cashin headshot
Elle Cashin
The Knot Fashion Contributor
  • Elle writes for The Knot online with a focus on fashion, covering gown design trends and shoppable accessories.
  • Elle is a contributor to wedding publications across the country, including Brides, The New York Times Vows and Modern Luxury Weddings.
  • Prior to shifting to weddings, Elle covered lifestyle, culture and celebrity across Chicago as the editor of the Chicago Tribune’s SPLASH magazine, where she interviewed cele...
Updated Jan 07, 2025

Until recently, engagement ring shopping was done by the proposer alone, a top-secret mission with the goal of finding the perfect piece (and fit!) for their partner's ring finger. But these days, more and more couples are shopping together, trying on more styles at more retailers and finding something the wearer is guaranteed to love. The Knot 2024 Jewelry and Engagement Study found that couples are breaking tradition in every which way, and we're here for it. So, for tips for buying an engagement ring in this new world order, we turned to Kristi Kroll, the director of client relations for lab-diamond leader HauteCarat. She serves as a sort of ring concierge for clients both in-person at the brand's Chicago store, and virtually, and has become an expert in how to shop for an engagement ring. Here, she helps us outline 13 important engagement ring tips.

1. Set Your Budget

According to The Knot Jewelry and Engagement Study, 71% of proposers set a budget for ring shopping—and more than half say the economy affected that budget. "Though some people still go by the two- to three-months' salary rule, I do feel it is a bit outdated," Kroll says, referring to the old lore that that's how much should be spent on a ring. "My best suggestion for a budget is to be realistic—set a budget that aligns with your current financial situation." The key is knowing your budget before you go shopping so you aren't tempted to try anything that might be out of reach; however, don't let your budget inhibit your search. "Remember, the quality of a diamond plays a huge part in pricing—so if you fall in love with a design and the price seems way out of budget, don't discard that design," Kroll says. "It can always be made with a different quality diamond [based on] color, cut, clarity and carat." (More on that below!)

2. Gather Inspo

Now, get scrolling! "Pinterest, TikTok and Instagram are great ways to find design inspiration," Kroll says. An important note regarding budgeting: "Many of these images [on social media] will be linked to pricing. This is where it is important to look at descriptions of the rings because the price listed can always be altered." (That is, through adjustments and customizations.) And there's no timeline for research; in fact, it has little to do with when to buy an engagement ring. In The Knot study, 31% of proposees said they researched their ring preferences for more than a year before the proposal.

3. Do Your Research—and Shop Around

These days, proposers and couples are visiting more retailers before making their final decision. According to The Knot study, in 2024 they visited an average of five retailers before making a purchase. Choose a few reputable jewelers to make appointments with. How will you know? "If you are working directly with a jeweler, make sure they are GIA or IGI certified," Kroll says. "But there are also a lot of amazing jewelry companies where you work with a sales rep. The sales rep should be knowledgeable and make you feel comfortable. First, ask if their production team does indeed have GIA- and IGI-certified team members working on the pieces. Then, make sure you get a personable feel from the sales rep." Kroll notes that you're building a forever relationship here—you'll most likely return to the jeweler for maintenance and upkeep over the years. "The ring shopping process should be fun, creative and enjoyable; if you are not getting that with your ring concierge, I would go elsewhere!"

While Kroll always recommends trying some things on in person, she doesn't rule out online shopping (in fact, at HauteCarat, she works with clients both IRL and virtually). But you should treat online jewelers just the same as in-person ones in terms of getting to know them. "I am a big advocate for trying things in person at different places, but knowing that you can buy online," she says. "If you go with an online company, vet them, give them a call, request FaceTimes and do your research." Check reviews, look at portfolios and ask questions. Pro tip: Email your jeweler in advance of the appointment to communicate your budget and send inspiration photos so they can pull options to have ready the day of.

4. Decide What's Most Important: The Four Cs

Topping our list of what to know when buying an engagement ring: the four Cs. That is, cut, color, clarity and carat; they determine the quality, and therefore the price, of a diamond. We recommend deciding which is most important to you and making that work for your budget. For example, you can get a bigger rock (aka carat) if you sacrifice a bit on clarity. Another thing to consider? Lab diamonds. (For the uninitiated, a lab diamond is a stone created in a lab rather than mined; it has the exact same scientific properties as a mined stone and is, in fact, a real diamond, but it comes with a significantly lower price tag.) Kroll is an expert in lab diamonds and has seen a massive increase in their popularity. "When HauteCarat launched in 2019, only 3% of engagement rings sold in the United States were lab; in 2024, over 50% were," she says. "That means one out of every two couples newly engaged today are choosing a lab-grown diamond for their engagement ring. We are seeing a high increase in consumers choosing lab-grown diamonds due to the quality-price proposition and the environmental benefits."

5. Know Your Stone Shapes

Diamond shape can also play a huge role in preference (and price). Kroll has some recommendations. "If you have really elongated fingers, more compact rings complement you! Think round, asscher, princess and compact cushions," she says. "If you have shorter fingers, more elongated shapes will help accentuate your hand. Think emerald, radiant, oval, elongated cushions and marquise." Shape can affect the four Cs as well. "I would prioritize different colors, clarities and carat sizes for specific shapes," Kroll adds. "If the shape is step cut, prioritize clarity. For more faceted shapes, prioritize color." And here's the kicker: "Some shapes appear larger than others of the same carat, so if you want a bigger stone for the same price, go with something more elongated. Fun fact: Ovals appear larger than any other shape of the same carat size."

6. Skip the Manicure

If you feel most comfortable trying on rings—and taking photos and videos of them, see below—with a fresh mani, go for it. But if having a mani is not your norm, skip it. "I recommend having your nails how you typically have them the majority of the time," Kroll says. "Just think, if you can fall in love with a ring on your natural nails, imagine how much you are going to adore it on nicely manicured nails!" Since you'll be wearing this ring forever after, you want to get the full picture of how it will look in your everyday life.

7. Ask to See the Stones in Natural Light

Jewelry store lighting is specifically designed to showcase gemstones—you'll notice it makes them look extra sparkly, which is an excellent sales tactic. But the majority of your life will not be spent in a jewelry store. Ask if you can see the ring in natural light, possibly by stepping closer to a window. If that's not an option, hold your hand around the ring finger to shade it a bit and see what it looks like without the glittering light.

8. Take Pictures

Especially if you're shopping at multiple jewelers, take pictures—and video—of your favorite styles to compare and contrast. Make sure to keep your hand position similar in photos so that it's an even comparison.

9. Keep the Stack in Mind

"Though you absolutely do not need to buy the wedding band with the engagement ring—that is a lot of money to dish out on diamonds in one sitting—I highly recommend trying some wedding bands on with the rings you like," Kroll says. "You will want to make sure the design you pick out will sit with the wedding band how you envision it. In my experience, most women want their final wedding stack to sit flush, meaning the engagement ring and wedding band will sit perfectly together with no gaps or spacing between them." Your partner can try on bands at the same time to really get the full picture.

10. Don't Be Afraid of Custom

If you aren't finding what you love—or you're loving different elements of various rings, such as the ring metal of one and the setting of another—don't be afraid to go custom. In fact, the price could be roughly the same or even less expensive than a pre-designed name-brand ring. "There are so many amazing companies that thrive at custom work," Kroll says. "Find one that will allow you to see digital renderings and provide educated feedback on your designs. This process can be creative no matter how small the detail." With custom, you can personalize everything from the engagement ring setting to the stones to the engraving.

11. Prepare to Negotiate—Maybe

With any engagement ring buying advice, there is the question of negotiation and…it's tricky. "If you are ordering online, there are usually limited negotiations when it comes to engagement ring shopping," Kroll says. "When creating a custom ring, there is more room for negotiation as there are a lot of things jewelers can tweak from the production and sourcing end to bring costs down and meet a client at a given price they are comfortable with." A simple rule of thumb? It never hurts to ask.

12. Ask Questions

Whether you're negotiating on price or not, there are certain questions Kroll always suggests for couples in her engagement ring shopping advice. "Ask: What is your return policy, what is your exchange policy, do you have a warranty, does my order come with an appraisal, will I be receiving the diamond certificate and, if you don't have a warranty, what is the pricing for maintenance such as resizing, re-rhodium, polishing and buffing, accent stones falling out and so on."

13. Follow Your Heart

Among all the engagement ring shopping tips we can offer, the most important is this: Go with your gut. At the end of the day, this ring is yours, and it's yours forever. "Be confident in your choice and don't feel the need to compare with your other friends getting engaged," Kroll says. "Your ring choice is a reflection of your personality and is unique to you. Each ring tells a story—and yours is beautiful!"

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