Bridezilla Moments You’re Totally Allowed to Have

They happen to the best of us.
by Maggie Seaver
Bridal flower crown with roses
Redfield Photography

Feel a bridezilla storm brewing? Even brides who never imagined they’d care about ranunculus, Chantilly lace or where to seat their best friend’s ex-boyfriend get overwhelmed or emotional during the planning process. The truth is, minor wedding freak-outs are completely normal. (Any bride who claims she stayed calm, cool and collected from start to finish is probably lying.)

Here’s the deal: You might get stressed, sensitive and temperamental while preparing to say “I do,” and that’s okay. Tensions are high, there are people to please and this is a huge life transition (marriage is a big deal!). You’re allowed to care and have opinions. But the best way to deal with any bridezilla feelings that surface is to let out your grievances (in private or to a trusted confidante) then compose yourself and move on. Here are a few completely valid bridezilla moments you might have.

If your dream venue is booked on your wedding date.

Some couples set a date before finding a venue, while others have an ideal venue in mind and work their date around when the site is available. If you’re worried about this happening, consider going the latter route.

If an important vendor flakes.

This is super uncool, but also more common than you might think. Businesses close unexpectedly, vendors double-book, pros get sick (they’re human too, remember) and so on. The best way to protect yourselves against this is to have an airtight, written contract with every single pro you hire that lays out exactly what will happen if worse comes to worst.

If this does happen, you’re allowed to be upset. Punch a pillow, have a good cry, whine to your fiancé, but then pick yourself up and start looking for a replacement. See how this bride handled finding out her venue double-booked on her.

If you haven’t found “the dress” yet.

There’s so much pressure to find the perfect wedding dress, so if nothing speaks to you after several trips to try on gowns, it’s natural to experience some gown anxiety. We don’t blame you! But rest assured, you’ll be in the right dress when it’s time to walk down the aisle, we promise.

If guests keep assuming they can bring a plus-one.

No matter how clear you make it, some people just don’t get the memo. If guest after guest keeps asking to bring a date, that’s worth a solid venting session with your fiancé. But at some point you’ll have to chill out and get in touch with anyone causing you a headache. It’s a total drag, but needs to be done.

If people keep asking if they’re invited.

Ugh, this is super annoying and definitely deserves an eye roll (or 10). It seems pretty clear that if they never got an invite, they’re probably not invited (and shouldn’t keep badgering you about it), right? Please, don’t freak out to their face—that’s never a good look—but you’re allowed to stifle a groan in exasperation. Eventually, you’ll have to shut it down. Say you wish you could celebrate with everyone you know—that would be amazing. But due to a tight budget and limited space, you have to keep things smaller than you initially wanted.

If something looks differently than you envisioned (and paid for).

There’s nothing more maddening when your pros don’t deliver on something you carefully chose and paid for. The groomsmen attire comes and the sizes are all wrong. The flowers show up and they’re completely wilted. The cake arrives and the frosting is lime green when you asked for pale seaoam. Maddening, yes, but don’t let them see you sweat. Be a diplomat: Explain your concerns (that this isn’t what you specified in the contract) and ask them if there’s anything that can be done to remedy the problem.

If there’s one week to go and you’re missing half the RSVPs.

You have your caterer, venue and planner on your back about final head count. You’re trying to juggle the seating chart. You need to know how many ceremony programs to print. The last thing you need is to have no idea how many people can make it. It’s okay to let off some steam, but then enlist your family or wedding party to start calling everyone for answers.

If someone in your wedding party won’t stop complaining.

There’s always one. Someone you’ve thought of as a close friend is driving you nuts with complaints and rude comments—so frustrating. If it gets to a point where it’s seriously affecting your mood and experience, it’s okay to say something. But don’t go all bridezilla in front of her (then you’re the bad guy). Let it out in private and choose your words wisely when you talk to her.

If your family’s trying to take over everything.

Whether it’s from in-laws or blood relatives, family input can quickly become a burden—especially if it’s coming from someone who isn’t chipping in on the bill. Do your best to keep your feelings and their opinions under control from the get-go. Decide what you want to let slide and what’s worth speaking up about.

If you feel like everyone’s telling you what you should be doing, but not helping you get it done.

This will definitely make you a ball of hysterics. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, the last thing you should do is let it bottle up—that’s when the freak-outs happen. And, most importantly, don’t hesitate to (nicely) enlist your family and wedding party members for help.


Read 10 wedding bummers you’re not allowed to freak out about.

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