How to Split Expenses as a Couple: Approaches and Expert Advice

Money is one of the most common sources of friction in a relationship, largely because it's highly complex, wrought with emotion and a topic that's historically hushed. So when it comes time to discuss how to split expenses as a couple, bringing up money conversations—and navigating the process—can feel a bit nerve-wracking.

"Many of us were raised to believe that talking about money is taboo, but when it comes to relationships, opening up about finances early can prevent conflict down the road," says Emily Zekonis, a personal finance expert for Raisin. "As long as you are committed to open communication and each other, couples should have the tools they need for a long and healthy relationship."

The bottom line is you two are a team, and this is just one of many hurdles you'll work together on throughout your relationship. Ahead, we're answering common questions about splitting bills as a couple, including approaches you can take, whether you should always go 50/50 and tips for managing your expenses.

In this article:

• Should Couples Split Bills 50/50?
• How to Split Expenses as a Couple
• Tips for Managing Expenses as a Couple

Should Couples Split Bills 50/50?

This age-old question can go either way. It ultimately depends on your preferences, what you both consider fair, and whether there are any huge income discrepancies and/or lifestyle spending habits between you two.

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"If couples have similar salaries, expenses and responsibilities, splitting bills might be a great strategy," Zekonis says. "But if one person in the relationship works at an underfunded nonprofit while the other is quickly climbing the corporate ladder, splitting things 50/50 is probably not going to be an equal burden on the partner making a much lower salary."

This is particularly tricky if the higher earner wants to live a lifestyle that's outside of the other's comfort and ability. In that case, splitting the bills and paying for dates according to income and lifestyle preferences would make far more sense and ease tension between the two.

Tom Thiegs, a family wealth coach at Ascent Private Capital Management, agrees that 50/50 is often not the best way to split expenses with your partner. He adds that you should also factor in details outside of income, like debt, financial obligations and current savings.

"When I work with couples, I recommend they sit down and go through all of their expenses and then talk about both of their incomes and have an open dialogue about how they can cover those expenses," Thighs says. "The most important factor for splitting bills is finding a solution that both of you can feel good about."

How to Split Expenses as a Couple

So, what's the best way to pay bills as a couple? Here are a few options for you to consider. Mull them over with your partner, and decide if one feels like a more organic fit for your situation.

Going Full 50/50

This approach works in cases where there are similar or equal incomes, lifestyle preferences, debts and savings. In this case, both partners can comfortably contribute half to bills, and it won't cause strain on the other. Note that while this seems to be a default method for splitting expenses with a partner, it may not always be the best if there are notable financial discrepancies between both partners.

Splitting by Percentages

Splitting expenses by percentage is a solid strategy for couples with unequal incomes, debts or personal lifestyle preferences. "This means that if a couple is living together and wants to split their rent and utilities, they can divide expenses in a way that is proportionally fair," Zekonis says. For example, the partner earning 30% of the total income would pay 30% of the bills.

Splitting Individual Expenses

In this scenario, partners divide expenses by category. For example, one would cover the rent while the other handles groceries and utilities. "The benefit of this alternative is that it is so simple to track, allowing each partner to contribute based on their financial strengths," says Kristy Kim, a personal finance expert and CEO and founder of TomoCredit. "However, if expenses fluctuate, then one partner might end up paying more, requiring periodic adjustments."

Shared Income Split

If you're in a situation where one person is working and the other isn't (child rearing, working on a business, on disability, unemployed, etc.), then an option is to treat all income as shared income. This ensures both have equal access to finances. The goal is to ensure that the non-working partner isn't financially dependent or restricted. Open and ongoing discussions about financial contributions, emotional labor and long-term security help prevent resentment and ensure fairness.

Hybrid Approaches

A hybrid approach is the most customizable and flexible option. "It is a mix of methods, which mixes proportional rent split but maybe 50/50 split on groceries and other personal budget [items]," Kim says. "The benefit of this approach is that it's very customizable to fit each couple's situation. However, it requires a deeper discussion and tracking to make sure it's fair."

Tips for Managing Expenses as a Couple

Now that you have some options for how to split bills as a couple, let's cover some general financial advice.

Keep It Positive

Money can often bring about heated discussions, so do your best to avoid discussing finances when tensions are reaching a peak. "Don't have conversations about money when things are heated," Thiegs says. "Rather than bring up a topic when you're frustrated, find a time when emotions aren't running high. It's difficult to have a caring and productive conversation when you're emotionally charged."

Work on Your Financial Compatibility

Be mindful of potential signs of financial incompatibility and talk through issues as they arise. "Hopefully, any roadblocks can be overcome with some good old-fashioned teamwork," Zekonis says. "Picking a partner is one of the most important decisions in life—if you are lucky enough to have someone with similar values and a similar outlook on life, communicate openly and often, and keep a sense of humor about things, you're well on your way."

Embrace Transparency

Transparency is always key about everything in relationships and especially money, Kim says. Adopt a system that works for you—using a budget app or good old-fashioned paper and pen—to track expenses together, categorize spending and ensure both partners are on the same page.

"This helps prevent surprises, fights and keeps financial goals aligned," Kim says. And when it comes to purchases and debt, make sure you're transparent about where your money is going. For example, some couples have money rules and an honor code system where they don't spend over certain thresholds or buy certain items without speaking to the other first.

Keep Talking About Finances

In the same way you must compromise and work through all sorts of issues together, finances are another topic you'll want to stay on top of. "The only thing constant in life is change—people get promoted, lose jobs, you may welcome new family members or buy property down the line," Zekonis says.

That said, finances aren't a one and done convo. As your expenses change, your strategy will need to change as well. Aim to discuss finances at least once a month, staying on top of goals, stressors and rooting for each other along the way.