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Updated Mar 06, 2025TikTok's Marriage Language Is Gen-Z's Version of Relationship Goals
A love language all your own.
Photo: MoMo Productions / Getty Images
When you're close to someone (whether romantically or not) it's only natural that you might develop a second language together; a language so special that only you two understand it—and it gets even stronger when you get married. It's called having a marriage language, and TikTok has been all over it.
"It's really common for couples to have their own language, whether they are
married or not," relationship coach Suzannah Weiss tells The Knot. And while marriage languages have long been a thing, we just didn't have a name for it. But now, with this viral marriage language trend spreading on TikTok, we have a new way to describe this couples phenomena.
To get a better understanding of what TikTok's marriage language trend is and why it's so popular, we spoke to Weiss and marriage and family therapist Kim Homan below.
In this article:
- What Is TikTok's Marriage Language Trend?
- How Can a Marriage Language Benefit a Relationship?
- What Are Some Examples of Marriage Language?
- Should You Follow The Marriage Language Trend?
What Is TikTok's Marriage Language Trend?
"TikTok's marriage language trend involves couples creating and using their own unique set of phrases, nicknames or inside jokes," Homan explains. "It's like a private language that's special and exclusive to their relationship."
It's a playful way to show off how you and your partner communicate. For example, maybe you have a special word or way to say dog that's entirely differently from others. It can be a fun, unique trend to take part in—and also watch other couples partake too!
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How Can a Marriage Language Benefit a Relationship?
Can a trend really be beneficial to your marriage? The answer is yes: Having a marriage language can actually be a very positive and beneficial way to get closer and laugh together. According to Homan, it can foster a sense of intimacy and exclusivity—almost like you and your partner are in your own little world.
"It's a fun way to strengthen your bond and add an element of playfulness to your communication," she says. "By having your own language, you create shared memories and experiences, which can deepen your connection."
However, while this trend can add a layer of fun to your relationship, it's not a replacement for deep and meaningful communication. After all, the healthiest relationships are built on a foundation of open and honest dialogue about feelings, needs and expectations. So, enjoy your private language, but don't let it overshadow the essential aspects of communication.
What Are Some Examples of Marriage Language?
According to Weiss, a marriage language can look like "saying words slightly differently from the way most people say that, for instance, having cute names for things.".
Case in point: This couple on TikTok, who share how they say, "You taking a nappies?" to say nap; or this one who calls an aperol spritz an "app-a-ball spitz-ee" and rotisserie chicken a "chick rotiss."
Should You Follow The Marriage Language Trend?
Is sharing a marriage language right for you? That all depends on your relationship dynamics. "If you and your partner enjoy creating and sharing personal jokes or phrases, it can be a delightful addition to your relationship," Homan says. "However, it's not necessary for a healthy relationship. It's more about what makes you and your partner happy and helps you connect on a deeper level."
How do you begin, though? It's simple, really: Just start by making a list of things you and your partner have special names for. The process will no doubt be a hilarious and memorable bonding experience.
