How to Flirt With Your Wife for Sweet and Spicy Moments

The wine and dine, sending spicy text messages, sweet nothings all day every day, and of course, the can't-keep-your-hands-off-her are some of the best parts of a new relationship. But as time passes, and years of marriage go by, knowing how to flirt with your wife can sometimes feel a little rusty—but it doesn't have to be.

"Flirting isn't just for the early stages of a relationship. Over time, life's responsibilities—work, kids and stress—can push romance to the back burner," Derek Lee, relationship expert and the co-founder of Boo explains, "Flirting is a way to remind your partner, 'I still see you. I still choose you.'"

Little flirty vibes here and there keep emotional and physical attraction strong and can prevent relationships from becoming purely functional. Plus, Lee adds, it's a powerful way to reduce tension, encourage laughter and reinforce the bond that made you fall in love in the first place.

So keep the flirtation going! Whether you're looking to spice up your marriage, get even closer or just appreciate your wife, these tried-and-true (and expert-approved!) tips will take all the guessing out of how to keep flirting with your wife.

1. Use Some Surprise Touch

Is your Google search full of "How to flirt with your wife again?" If she's one for physical touch, sometimes a surprise touch can be just what she needs to feel loved, appreciated and wanted. "A light touch on the lower back, brushing her hair behind her ear or holding hands unexpectedly," Lee suggests.

2. Send That Text

Texting is a great way to infuse flirtation into daily life. Either a bit of romance, sweetness or even throwing in some dirty talk can do wonders. According to Lee, these text ideas are foolproof flirting techniques:

• Inside jokes: Reference a funny moment only the two of you understand.
• Playful teasing: "I just saw someone who totally reminds me of you… oh wait, it's because you're always on my mind."
• Compliments with a twist: "How do you manage to look this good even when I'm not around to admire you in person?"
• Flirty challenges: "I dare you to send me a selfie right now so I can remember how lucky I am."
• Future date plans: "Cancel your plans Friday. I'm taking you someplace where you'll smile the whole time."

3. Flirty Eye Contact

How to flirt with your wife? Try holding her gaze a little longer, especially across a room or in a crowded place—it'll leave her remembering how it felt to swoon over you in the first place.

4. Whisper Something Just for Her

Perhaps the classic of flirting moves. Whisper something that feels just for her. "Lean in and say something playful or sweet when others are around," Lee says. It won't just feel good for her, but for you, too.

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5. Write a Note

Flirting strengthens connection, boosts confidence and brings excitement into a relationship. It can also help to:

• Release oxytocin, also known as the "bonding hormone."
• Keep things playful, which is essential for long-term happiness.
• Encourage physical closeness, whether through affectionate touch or eye contact.
• Foster open communication, making it easier to talk about needs and desires.
• Remind both partners that attraction is alive, preventing complacency.

So try slipping a flirty note into her bag or on the mirror—something as simple as, "Can't stop thinking about you."

6. Plan a Playful Date

Maybe your wife is more of the playful, silly type. If that's her, try to do something out of the norm—like taking her to a karaoke bar, a spontaneous road trip or doing a silly challenge on TikTok together as a couple.

7. Tease in a Loving Way

What better way to learn how to sexually flirt with your wife again than a bit of banter to get things going? "A little banter keeps things lively," Lee says. "Like, 'Are you blushing? I knew I had that effect on you.'"

8. Use Pet Names Creatively

Peanut, sweetheart, lover, the list goes on… But instead of the usual ones, mix in playful new ones that reflect inside jokes when trying to flirt with your wife. She'll think it's adorable.

9. Recreate an Early Date

Ready for a spontaneous date night? Start by surprising her! Take her back to where it all began—whether that was 10 years ago or 10 months ago—and recreate some of the magic that started your love story.

10. Send a Song or Playlist

Calling all music buffs! "Share a song that reminds you of her with a message like, 'It's a great song that reminds me of you,' or 'This is how I feel about you today,'" Lee suggests.

11. Compliment Unexpectedly

How to flirt with my wife 101: Catch her off guard with a deep, genuine compliment when she's least expecting it.

12. Send Her Flowers

It's an oldie, but a classic for a reason. Sending flowers isn't about the flowers—it's about showing you love and care for her (and thinking of her when seeing something beautiful!) "The key is consistency—flirting isn't about grand gestures; it's about making your wife feel desired, appreciated and excited to be with you every day," Lee says.