How to Flirt with Your Husband to Keep the Spark Alive

When you're in the honeymoon phase, it's easy to watch sparks fly—with a romantic good morning text, a flirty smile and whispering how hot they look. The truth is, everyone appreciates a little flirtation (even if you've been married a while.) So don't forget how to flirt with your husband!

"Flirting is confidence-boosting, intimacy-promoting and just plain fun!" Sarah Tomchesson, a certified sex educator and marketing director at Magic Wand, tells The Knot. "Sadly, it can also quickly go by the wayside in the day-to-day of life in a committed relationship. Continuing to flirt is one way to nurture the playful and sexy side of the relationship."

According to Tomchesson, many couples in long-term relationships complain that, while there is a lot of love in their partnership, they do not feel desired. Flirting is a way to fix that! "Flirting communicates curiosity, interest and desire," she adds. "All of which are essential ingredients to keeping the so-called 'spark' going in a romantic relationship."

So how do you flirt with your husband? Is there a way to learn how to sexually flirt with your husband after being married for so long? Of course, there is! With the help of Tomchesson, keep the spice alive with these ideas, below.

1. Send That Flirty Text

Perhaps the easiest, most non-intimidating way for you to flirt with your husband? Send a flirtatious, fun text! After all, according to Tomchesson, texting is made for flirting. "It creates a slight buffer for anyone who is out of practice or shy about communicating in a flirtatious way," she explains.

Knowing how to flirt with your husband over text doesn't have to be hard, either. When texting with a partner, you can initiate flirting with phrases like:

• "I want to..."
• "I love when you..."
• "I'm thinking about the time..."
• "Remember when…"

2. Ask Your Husband on a Date

Like we said, everyone enjoys a little flirtatiousness. If you want to explore how to flirt with your husband again, what better way to do it than asking him on a date? You can even take it a step further and plan the date all on your own—that way, he'll feel extra special and considered.

3. Start a Sexy Conversation

Another great way to flirt with your husband? Try opening up a sexy, sensual conversation centering around your relationship history. This can be over a spicy text message or IRL. "Open up conversation," Tomchesson suggests. "Ask your partner what they remember from the first time you made out, and follow up by sharing your memories."

4. Send a Hot Selfie

Let's get real: Taking hot selfies will make you feel hot and sending them will have your husband feeling even hotter. Try sending a selfie (in your best lingerie or fave outfit) and see how it sparks things up for flirtation.

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5. Bring Your Fave Erotica

Smut lovers, unite. In the same way you might enjoy watching erotic movies together or watching a sexy scene together in a film, reading erotica to him and adding dirty talk can be a great way to flirt (and let him know what you're into) "Highlight a passage of erotica that ignites your curiosity and leave it out for your partner to find on their pillow," Tomchesson says.

6. Engage in Playful Touch

Sometimes, flirting with your husband can mean prioritizing playful touch, especially if touch is one of his love languages. "Find ways to engage in playful touch while doing mundane tasks…" Tomchesson says. In her opinion, squeezing or slapping your partner's butt while they're doing the dishes, grazing their arm at the supermarket, or even running your hands through their hair while they're focusing on something menial can be a lovely way to add flirtation to the day-to-day.

7. Play Make-Believe

Looking for a way to really spice things up? Go on a date and pretend to be meeting for the first time. No matter how long you've been together, this is a fun and interesting way to do something new together and even recount the days when you first met. It will leave you feeling ignited, silly and closer!

8. Try Complimenting Them

Compliments can go a long way when flirting—especially when they're heartfelt. "Compliment your partner while they're leaving the house for work, or heckle them lovingly while they're working on a hobby or project around the house," Tomchesson adds. Words of encouragement, delivered with eye contact, are a lovely and seductive way to set intentions.

9. Choose an Outfit for Him

The next time he has a big day, lay out a special outfit for him. When he puts it on, tell him how great you think he looks (and how much you're looking forward to taking it off later!)

10. Cook Him a Meal

This might seem cliché—but trust us, cooking your partner a great meal can be an excellent way to set the scene for a little flirty, romantic evening. Better yet, cook him his favorite meal as a surprise. Make it feel like a newlywed date night again!

11. Send Him Flowers

Listen: Men love flowers, too! What a sweet, kind and flirty gesture to let him know you're thinking of him (and wanting to brighten up his office with something beautiful.)

12. Consider How Well You Know Them

What is the best way to flirt with your husband? Well, it turns out, thinking about how well you know him. "Flirting is all about being playful. When you think about your flirting toolbox, pick things that you know will get your partner smiling and feeling good about themself," Tomchesson says. "This can range from light humor to overt sexual innuendo." So take it into your hands and do what you know he'll love!