Funny Wedding Vows That'll Leave Your Guests in Stitches

While writing your own wedding vows can seem overwhelming, the experience is special, meaningful and oh-so-romantic, which is why many couples opt to do so. However, your vows should showcase your unique personalities, so, if you and your partner are goofballs at heart, you may consider writing funny wedding vows to show off your silly sides. In addition to cracking up your future spouse, the best funny wedding vows will also have your guests laughing out loud, too. That said, it's key to strike a balance between cracking playful jokes versus hosting a comedy roast, which is why you'll want to focus on declaring your love for your partner first and foremost. Need some inspiration to spark your creativity? We've rounded up 55 of our favorite funny vows for your wedding ceremony—some of which include comical (albeit romantic!) quotes from beloved movies, television shows and books. If you're still struggling to write the perfect wedding vows, fear not: An officiant can help—and you can easily search for officiants near you on The Knot Marketplace.

In this article: Best Vows | For Him | For Her | Short | Movies | Songs | Television Shows | Book Quotes

Best Funny Wedding Vows Examples

These humorous wedding vows below are sure to leave you—and your future spouse and wedding guests—in stitches. Check out a few of our favorite examples below.

1. "I want us to grow old and crusty together, to shake our collective fists at teenagers, and to talk endlessly about the old days when things were better, cheaper and generally more wholesome."

2. "You and I just work together—and I love how you always finish my........ sentences... it's sentences."

3. "I vow to thrill you each day—to amaze and astonish you. Did I mention all the magic tricks I am learning?"

4. "I vow to somehow get to the end of this thing without ugly crying. I hope I can keep that one!"

5. "I love you, truly, madly, deeply... and I was thinking—maybe we should get married."

6. "We look pretty good. What is it we're all dressed up for?"

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7. "I vow to always let you have the last blueberry pancake."

8. "As the wise Salt-N-Pepa said, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man."

Funny Wedding Vows for Him

Incorporate some of these clever wedding vows for him into your "I dos" and watch as everyone bursts into laughter.

9. "I promise to unclog the drain, even though you're the only one of us who has long hair."

10. "I vow to get a professional even though I really want to try to do it myself first."

11. "I vow to protect you from spiders as long as we both shall live."

12. "I vow to always love you, even when you insist on adopting yet another dog!"

13. "I promise not to get mad, even when you insisted on only buying one thing at Target but come out with a whole cart full of stuff."

Funny Wedding Vows for Her

Looking for funny wedding vows to make your guests cry (tears of laughter, of course)? We've got you covered: Keep scrolling to discover some of our favorite hilarious wedding vows for her.

14. "I promise to turn on the air conditioning when you're hot—even if I'm totally freezing."

15. "I promise not to force you to watch a Gilmore Girls marathon."

16. "I'm so happy I accepted your rose."

17. "I vow to love you even when you're old and still playing Xbox."

18. "I promise to never judge you, even when you wear cargo pants."

19. "I promise not to get mad when you yell at the TV while watching football."

Short Funny Wedding Vows

Short, sweet and to the point, these short funny wedding vows are well worth incorporating into your ceremony.

20. "I promise to take Instagram-worthy photos of you."

21. "I promise not to hog the covers."

22. "I promise not to snore too loud."

23. "I promise not to steal too many of your fries."

24. "I promise to always bring you home food even when you say you don't want anything."

25. "I promise not to watch the next episode without you."

26. "I promise to always let you have the last bite."

27. "Ditto."

28. "I'm so happy I swiped right!"

Funny Wedding Vows From Movies

We've rounded up a few of our favorite funny, albeit swoon-worthy, wedding vows from movies, including fan-favorite flicks and rom-coms such as When Harry Met Sally, 27 Dresses and The Vow, to name a few.

29. "I love that you get cold when it's seventy-one degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night." - When Harry Met Sally

30. "It was not exactly love at first sight, but it turns out it was love." -Sex and the City 2

31. "I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not, to agree to disagree on red velvet cake, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home." -The Vow

32. "She is the only evidence of God I have seen with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry." - St. Elmo's Fire

33. "Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind." -27 Dresses

34. "You're the best thing I never knew I needed." -The Princess and the Frog

35. "He is the cheese to my macaroni." -Juno

36. "You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey, that's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon." -It's a Wonderful Life

37. "We finish each other's….sandwiches." -Frozen

Funny Wedding Vows From Songs

The below romantic song lyrics pull double duty as funny vows for your wedding ceremony.

38. "Let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters/And teach them how to dance/Let's get rich and build our house on a mountain/Making everybody look like ants/From way up there, you and I, you and I" -"Let's Get Rich," by Ingrid Michaelson

39. "If you like piña coladas/And gettin' caught in the rain/If you're not into yoga/If you have half a brain/If you like makin' love at midnight/In the dunes on the cape/Then I'm the love that you've looked for/Write to me and escape" -"Escape (The Piña Colada Song)," by Rupert Holmes

40. "Clowns to the left of me/Jokers to the right/Here I am stuck in the middle with you" -"Stuck in the Middle With You," by Stealers Wheel

41. "Never gonna give you up/Never gonna let you down/Never gonna run around and desert you" -"Never Gonna Give You Up," by Rick Astley

42. "It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most/Not where you live, what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes/There's no dollar sign on a peace of mind/This I've come to know/So if you agree, have a drink with me/Raise your glasses for a toast/To a little bit of chicken fried/A cold beer on a Friday night/A pair of jeans that fit just right/And the radio up" -"Chicken Fried," by Zac Brown Band

43. "It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do/Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you" -"Marry You," by Bruno Mars

44. "It's like you're always stuck in second gear/When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month/Or even your year, but/I'll be there for you/(When the rain starts to pour)/I'll be there for you/(Like I've been there before)/I'll be there for you/('Cause you're there for me too)" -"I"ll Be There For You," by The Rembrandts

Funny Wedding Vows From Television Shows

If you and your future spouse love watching TV together, you may opt to adapt one of these famous TV show lines into your own ceremony for an extra fun and personal touch. Bonus: You can also use them as wedding poems or readings.

45. "To love each other, even when we hate each other. No running—ever. Nobody walks out no matter what happens. Take care when old, senile, smelly. This is forever." -Grey's Anatomy

46. "You are the most awesome person I have ever known in my entire life. I vow to protect you from danger. And I don't care if I have to fight an ultimate fighter, or a bear, or him (points to a random guest) or your mom. I would take them down. I'm getting mad right now even telling you. I wanna spend the rest of my life, every minute, with you, and I am the luckiest man in the galaxy." -Parks and Rec

47. "You're my lobster" -Friends

48. "But love doesn't make sense! I mean, you can't logic your way in or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it, or else we're lost, and love is dead and humanity just packed in. Because love is the best thing we do." -How I Met Your Mother

49. "The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that's just fabulous." -Sex and the City

50. "I hope for as long as we stay together, I always remain someone that you wanna holla at." -New Girl

Funny Wedding Vow Quotes From Books

Literature lovers need not miss the chance to include one of these funny wedding vow quotes from books in their ceremony.

51. "I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough." -The Notebook

52. "I love you. Okay? Want it louder? I love you! Spell it out, should I? I ell-oh-vee-ee why-oh-you. Want it backward? You love I." -The Princess Bride

53. "I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labour has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you." -The Fault in Our Stars

54. "If my like for you was a football crowd, you'd be deaf 'cause of the roar. And if my like for you was a boxer, there'd be a dead guy lying on the floor. And if my like for you was sugar, you'd lose your teeth before you were twenty. And if my like for you was money, let's just say you'd be spending plenty." -Graffiti Moon

55. "Yes, I need you, my fairy-tale. Because you are the only person I can talk with about the shade of a cloud, about the song of a thought—and about how, when I went out to work today and looked a tall sunflower in the face, it smiled at me with all of its seeds." -Letters to Vera

Maddy Sims contributed to the reporting of this story.