How to Be a Good Boyfriend, According to Relationship Experts

There's nothing quite like the feeling of being a great partner to the one you love—especially when they mean the world to you. But if you're stuck on "how to be a good boyfriend" questions, you're not alone.

It's not a secret why you'd look for a be a good boyfriend how to guide, either. According to new statistics, a whopping 82 percent of Americans say that while dating, they've been treated in ways that have proved damaging to their mental health. So it's only understandable that you'd prioritize being a great boyfriend, lover and of course, friend.

"Relationships aren't static—they evolve, and so should you," relationship therapist Jordanne Sculler tells The Knot. "Personal growth isn't only about being a better partner; it's about being a more self-aware, emotionally intelligent person. The best relationships happen when both individuals are committed to learning, letting go of old patterns that no longer serve them and growing together."

So whether you've had bad luck in past relationships and want something different, you're simply looking to strengthen your relationship or you're just trying to be the best BF possible, all reasons are valid here. Below is our go-to, expert-approved guide on how to do that.

1. Focus on Being Consistent

First things first: If you want to learn how to be a good boyfriend in a relationship, one of the best tips, according to Sculler, is to focus less on grand gestures and more on consistency, kindness and emotional awareness. Don't worry so much about huge presents or big invitations—but small acts that you can maintain often. "This means actively listening to your partner," Sculler explains. "It fosters an environment where both people feel seen, valued and supported."

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2. Listen to Understand

Take your relationship skills to the next level with this pro-level dating tip: Listen to understand. Okay, but what does that really mean? "Listen to understand, not just to respond," Sculler says. "Active listening is one of the most underrated relationship skills you can have."

For example, instead of thinking about what you'll say next—like the point you're trying to make, the coffee you need or the last thing you wanted to say—focus on what your partner is actually expressing, both verbally and emotionally. That's a definite way to be a good boyfriend.

3. Try Not to Assume

You know what they say about assuming, right? But it's true; try not to assume things in your relationship. For example, it's best not to assume your partner knows how you feel all the time. Instead, express your love, appreciation and needs regularly, and create space for honest conversations—especially the tough ones.

4. Be Reliable

This one might sound simple, but you'd be surprised how many people struggle in their relationships because of a reliability issue. "Be consistent! Reliability builds trust," Sculler suggests. "It's easy to make promises, but following through, whether it's texting when you say you will or showing up emotionally, is what truly matters."

5. Support Your Other Half's Goals

Want an even more promising way to work on your relationship? Start by supporting their goals! Just like you'd want them to support you, what makes for how to be a good boyfriend is supporting them, too! A great partner celebrates their significant other's successes and encourages them to pursue their passions rather than feeling threatened by their individual growth, Sculler adds.

6. Take Accountability

Okay, okay. No one likes to admit they're wrong or could do better, but in healthy relationships, taking accountability is necessary if you're looking to be the best boyfriend you can be to your lover. So remember to always try your best to take accountability.

"Own up to your mistakes, apologize sincerely and make an effort to improve without being defensive," Sculler suggests. After all, no one is perfect, but taking accountability makes up for it.

7. Learn Your (and Your Partner's) Love Language

There is nothing wrong with learning your (and your partner's) love language! While you might be skeptical about it, folks often find that taking it into account can really help your relationship grow and thrive.

"Everyone receives and processes love differently," Sculler says. "Whether it's through words, actions, quality time or physical touch, understanding what makes your partner feel most appreciated and cared for can strengthen your bond."

8. Go Beyond the Physical

Lastly, if you really want to embody the best BF ever energy, then go beyond the physical. "Beyond attraction, relationships thrive on emotional depth," Sculler says. But how can you do this? She recommends asking thoughtful questions, always being honest with your partner, sharing your vulnerabilities (don't worry, we all have them!) and simply being willing to connect on a deeper level. If you do all of that, you can truly watch your relationship soar!