Everything You Need to Know About How to Address Military Wedding Invitations

From tracking down guests' addresses to figuring out the wording, getting wedding invitations in the mail is not a simple task. Thankfully, there are established social norms and etiquette rules that can steer you in the right direction, especially when it comes to figuring out how to address military wedding invitations. We spoke with wedding planner Colleen Cook of CCS Events in Richmond, Virginia and Retired Navy Lieutenant Commander Robert Armstrong to get all the protocols about how to refer to active duty service members, veterans and retired military personnel.

As you're figuring out the right wording for everyone's invite, make sure to check out The Knot Paper's selection of invitations for your big day. Personalize recipients and return addresses on the site, making getting those letters in the mail a piece of cake.

In this article:

• How to Address Military Wedding Invitations
• How to Address Retired Military Wedding Invitations
• Address Military Wedding Invitations: Frequently Asked Questions

How to Address Military Wedding Invitations

Depending on the size of your wedding, it is very likely there will be at least one person who has served in the United States Armed Forces at your wedding. Whether they spent time in the Army or Navy or are currently serving in the Space Force, everyone has a rank assigned to them. Colleen emphasized that "when in doubt, ask the guest how they prefer to be addressed in writing." Nearly all military personnel would "prefer to educate than to receive an invitation that might make them cringe or feel that was lettered in poor taste."

Usually, only commissioned officers need their rank on a formal invitation, meaning enlisted personnel can be listed following typical rules for addressing wedding invitations. However, Collen notes that "communication is so important and with the dawn of more titles and pronouns, it is always best to ask." Remember, "they worked hard for that title so a little work to make it right goes a long way."

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Follow our examples below of how to address wedding invitations to military personnel on your guest list.

Example One: Officer Without a Plus-One

On the outer envelope, use the guest's rank, full name and military branch:
Captain Samantha Hubbard, United States Army

On the inner envelope, use only the guest's rank and surname:
Captain Hubbard

Example Two: Female With a Plus-One

Colleen points out that one unique thing is if the female is military and the male is not, the female goes first.

The outer envelope should read:

Captain Khloe Small, United States Army and Mr. Dale Small

Or

Captain Khloe Small, United States Army

Mr. Dale Small

On the inner envelope, leave off the first names. You may use two lines if you wish:

Captain and Mr. Small

Or

Captain Small

Mr. Small

Example Three: Male With a Plus-One

On the outer envelope, use the guest's full name, title and branch:

Commander Joshua Saling, United States Navy and Mrs. Susan Saling

On the inner envelope, use the guest's title and surname:
Commander Saling and Mrs. Saling

Or

Commander and Mrs. Saling

Example Four: The Return Address

If you or a parent who served in the military is collecting the RSVPs, it is helpful to put your title on the return address envelope to save your guests the trouble of guessing rank and figuring out the wording.

On the return envelope:

Major Peter Smith, United States Marines and Ms. Alexandra Armstrong

123 Meade Street

Or if you both serve in the military, it is important to place both titles appropriately.

Colonel Peter Smith and Major Charlie Jones

United States Marine Corps

123 Meade Street

How to Address Retired Military Wedding Invitations

If a commissioned officer in the military is retired, they keep their title. However, anyone who left military service but did not retire, such as leaving after 10 years or leaving for medical issues, does not retain their title.

So, first and foremost, it is key to know the career history of the person to whom you are addressing the invitation. Remember, communication is key here to getting it right, so feel free to ask about their current formal title. Some officers use their military title but want "retired" written either before their title or after, while others may simply ask to be referred to as "Mr.," "Ms." or a similar phrase.

Example:

On the outer envelope:

Lieutenant Commander Robert Armstrong

United States Navy, Retired

On the inner envelope, leave off the first name and retired designation:

Lieutenant Commander Armstrong and guest

Address Military Wedding Invitations: Frequently Asked Questions

Planning a military wedding or one with many military guests is no easy task, especially as you figure out titles and seating charts that keep everyone respected and happy. Here are a few more questions and answers you might have about how to communicate with wedding guests.

Do You Abbreviate Rank?

Typically, rank is not abbreviated on military invitations and ordinal words such as first and second should be fully written out. However, Colleen shares that you can abbreviate a title for a black-tie event.

Does It Vary by Military Branch?

Colleen noted that nothing changes when addressing military officers of different branches. However, each branch of the military uses slightly different titles, although there is some overlap between them. For example, Air Force commissioned officers range from second lieutenant to general, while the Navy's commissioned officer titles go from ensign to admiral. Lists of rank can be found on each branch's website, and you should never assume someone is in a certain branch because of a generic title such as captain.

Lt. Cmdr. Armstrong says that distinguishing between branches can be important in some cases, as a "captain in the Army is very different from a captain in the Navy." So, if you're on the fence about whether to put the military branch on the invite, opt to put it on for clarity's sake.

How Do You Address Couples Who Are Both in the Military?

If both partners in a couple are in the military, you should address the higher-ranking person first. If they have the same title, you may list them together, like this: Captains John and Amanda Wright, United States Navy.