Dos and Don'ts on Inviting Coworkers to Your Wedding, According to Experts
Crafting your wedding guest list is often challenging, as you may have to make tough decisions about who to invite. Close family and friends are, of course, at the top of the list. But what about the people you work with? Is inviting coworkers to your wedding a good idea? And should you invite your boss to your wedding? Thankfully, there are some guidelines that can help you decide. Ahead, experts answer all your pressing questions about inviting colleagues to your wedding, plus etiquette tips on how to invite them if you decide to add them to the guest list.
Should You Invite Your Coworkers to Your Wedding?
The short answer: Yes! Experts agree that people should invite their coworkers to their weddings. Here's why: "From landing career opportunities to gaining lifelong friends, many professionals will share that some of their coworkers have significantly impacted their lives and careers," says Chandria Harris, a career development consultant and founder of HireCulture. That said, you don't have to invite all of our coworkers.
Harris and etiquette expert Jules Martinez Hirst recommend carefully curating your guest list and only inviting the coworkers you are genuinely friends with and are important to your life. Consider who you have a relationship with outside of work. "If you no longer worked there, would you continue the friendship?" says human resources expert Ed Krow. "If so, they make the cut!"
Your wedding day should be filled with love and peace, Harris says. So, she recommends asking yourself if you'll be worried about how this coworker will view you, your family or your traditions. If so, don't invite them to your wedding.
Having said that, it's also perfectly fine to not invite anyone from work to your wedding if you prefer to keep your work and personal life separate. Maintaining a work/life balance, Hirst says, is challenging in and of itself, and inviting people from work merges those worlds.
Should You Invite Your Boss to Your Wedding?
The same goes for whether or not to invite your boss or manager to your wedding. It depends on the relationship you have with them and what you prefer. To help make this decision, Harris advises the couple to consider two important factors: "Would I like to invite my manager out of respect for their leadership? Would I miss their presence at one of the most intimate moments in my life?"
"If you answer out of respect for their leadership, I recommend you reconsider sending an invitation," Harris says. "Having the emotional intelligence to feel comfortable respecting your union, family, and traditions is a high honor." In other words, only invite your boss or manager if you genuinely would value their presence at such an important occasion.
Either way, the decision is yours to make. "If you do not have the space or budget, it is not an obligation to invite your boss or manager," Hirst says, or any of your coworkers for that matter. Alternatively, you can also consider extending a reception-only invitation.
How To Invite Colleagues to Your Wedding
If inviting your coworkers and your boss to your wedding feels right for you, there are a few essential etiquette rules to keep in mind. First, send them a formal invitation like any other guest, Krow says. (Pro tip: Use The Knot's Guest List Tool—it's free!—for managing, tracking, and communicating with all your wedding guests.)
If you'd like to personalize the invitation to your coworkers, Harris recommends considering how their presence is important to you and sharing some thoughts on why you would like to invite them to celebrate your union.
When inviting your boss or manager, in particular, Harris recommends taking it a step further. "Whether you are preparing to invite them to your wedding or merely [sharing that] you are getting married, consider scheduling a 10-minute private conversation and outline any details that are important to your work and upcoming schedule," she says. "If you notice your wedding date was chosen during a busy season/blackout date or an important implementation, be sure to share how you would be prepping weeks in advance to support the launch or the completion of the goal. Immediately following that conversation, share if you would like them to attend the wedding and how their presence is important to you."
Furthermore, remember to be mindful of the colleagues you aren't inviting to your wedding. "Any coworkers that were not invited would have hurt feelings for not being included, and you have to work with these people and may need help from these people, which could become awkward," Hirst says. To prevent any hurt feelings, awkwardness or bitterness, she recommends keeping the wedding talk to a minimum at work and not bringing the invitations to work. And if the topic does come up, politely tell them they aren't invited to your wedding.