Who to Invite to a Bridal Shower & Other Etiquette Questions, Answered

Even though wedding or bridal showers are typically less formal than the nuptials, that doesn't mean the event doesn't come with its own list of etiquette rules. For example, anyone in charge of sending invitations will need to know who to invite to the bridal shower, which is a select group of guests. To ensure you're the best host you can be, we're answering all your FAQs about bridal shower invitation etiquette, including who to invite, what to say, when to send them, how to keep track of RSVPs and more. (Don't forget to look at our advice on bridal shower etiquette and our bridal shower checklist so you're extra prepared.)

Bridal Shower Invitation Etiquette Basics: Who to Invite | How Many People to Invite | When to Send Invites | Who Sends Invites | Where to Shop | What to Include | How to Write Invites | How to Send Invites | RSVPs

Who to Invite to a Bridal Shower

You might be excited to make the wedding shower guest list but you can't invite just anyone. So who do you invite to a bridal shower? At the end of the day, it's up to the guest(s) of honor to make the final call about who goes to the bridal shower. Keep reading to learn who does and doesn't make the cut.

Who Should Be Invited to a Bridal Shower

For hetrosexual to-be-weds, it's tradition for only female guests to be present at the bridal shower. Plus, the people written below typically have an automatic spot on the guest list. But, this isn't always the case since LGBTQIA+ couples would most likely want to approach their guest lists differently. Confirm with the guest(s) of honor before sending any invitations to avoid any awkwardness.

• Wedding party: Since they're integral additions to your celebration, traditionally the female members of your wedding party should be invited to the bridal shower.
• Parents on both sides: It's considered proper etiquette for the bride's and the spouse-to-be's parents to attend the shower.
• Siblings and close relatives: Invite any sisters, grandmothers or other female family members the bride is super close with. If the bride's future mother-in-law is hosting, expect more in-laws to attend, such as aunts and cousins.

Bridal Shower Invitation Etiquette Tips

In addition to the guests listed above, there are other people you can (and can't) invite to the bridal shower. Take a look and see if you already know the right answers.

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• Co-ed guests: Nowadays, it's not unusual for to-be-weds to have a couple's shower with both sets of their loved ones present. With this type of guest list, you'll have more flexibility with who you invite.
• Non-wedding guests: Anyone invited to the couple's or bridal shower but not the wedding is a big no-no—avoid confusion by cross-checking the wedding guest list with the shower one.
• Out-of-town guests: You're welcome to invite out-of-town shower guests. Just remember to give that group notice sooner than local loved ones.
• Fiancé as a guest: It's typical at bridal showers that the guest of honor's partner isn't present. Despite that, there are some people who want their fiancé invited to the shower so they can mingle toward the end of the party.

Design: Falak Khoja

How Many People Do You Invite to a Bridal Shower?

Inviting between 30–40 people to the shower is the sweet spot, with the understanding that some people probably won't be able to attend. Your actual guest count will depend on the bridal shower venue. If you're renting a space, double-check the guest capacity first. (Psst: Use The Knot Vendor Marketplace to find the perfect place.) If you're hosting the party at home, think about how many people you can comfortably accommodate. Consider the number of chairs, tables, plates and other party items you already have and whether you'll need to budget for additional rentals.

When to Send Bridal Shower Invites

In order to give guests enough notice, bridal shower invitations mail them at least four to six weeks in advance. If the guest list includes out-of-towners, it's considered good etiquette to tell them about the affair at least two months before. That time allotment gives them enough time to organize travel and accommodations, decide what to wear and purchase gifts.

Who Sends Wedding Shower Invitations?

The bridal shower host is responsible for sending the invitations. As we've said before, you should ask the couple to approve the guest list before sending anything. (Unless the couple specifically says they want to be surprised, it's safe to assume that they want to be somewhat involved in the planning.) In most cases, the host is also responsible for selecting and paying for the shower invitations, barring you've already decided to split the bridal shower costs a different way. If you need to delegate some of the work to other members of the wedding party, put one person in charge of collecting addresses and getting guest list approval, and another person in charge of choosing and sending the invitations.

Where to Find Wedding Shower Invitations

ICYMI, you can shop dozens of bridal shower invitation designs on The Knot Invitations. There are styles to suit pretty much any bridal shower theme, from "brunch and bubbly" to boho floral. To make your job even easier, you can also filter by trim shape, design style, color, season and number of photos. The icing on the cake? You can customize your design by changing the font, editing the text, adding a QR code and match the suite to our other paper products.

What to Include in Wedding Shower Invitations

Most importantly, the party date, time and location (including the exact street address) should always be written clearly on the invitations. It's also proper wedding shower invitation etiquette to include the name of the guest(s) of honor and the event type—in this case, you could go with "bridal shower," "wedding shower" or "couple's shower." The last thing you'll absolutely want to include is the host's name and contact information for RSVPs. That way, guests can easily let you know if they're able to attend or not.

Once you've got the basics down, feel free to add other information such as the theme, dress code and special requests—for example, if you want each guest to bring a recipe card. Finally, remember that some guests will want to purchase wedding shower gifts from the couple's registry. Follow bridal shower invitation registry etiquette by adding a link to the couple's wedding website (if it's synced with their wedding registry) or a list of stores where they're registered.

How to Write Wedding Shower Invitations

Since wedding shower invitations are generally less formal than the wedding ones, you don't need to go overboard with fancy calligraphy or hand lettering (unless you want to). It's also okay to order themed invitations online—the most important thing is that the shower invitation wording includes all of the important details. Don't know where to start? Instead of starting from scratch, head to The Knot Invitations to customize a template of your chosen stationery design by editing the names, wording and other information. Note that the wording will be a little different depending on the type of event. For example, a couple's shower will require a slightly different approach than traditional bridal shower invites. Finally, when it comes to addressing the bridal shower invitations, ensure the names, titles and preferred prefixes are spelled correctly.

How to Send Wedding Shower Invitations

Similar to wedding invitations, printable wedding shower invitations and ones ordered online or in person are typically sent by mail. That said, some couples opt for digital ones instead. Ultimately, it's up to the couple and the host to decide which route to take, depending on the timeline and budget. Regardless of whether the invitations are sent by mail or email, bridal shower RSVPs are usually requested via phone or email.

How to Collect & Organize Wedding Shower Invitation RSVPs

The host should provide their contact details on the invitations, such as a phone number or email address, instructing guests how to RSVP. If you need guests' responses by a certain date, include that information too. We suggest setting a date at least two weeks before the event so you have time to finalize last-minute details. You could also request that people respond with "regrets only." That way, you'll only receive messages from those politely declining the invite (and hopefully avoid a cluttered inbox). Once the RSVPs start rolling in, use a guest list manager to keep track of everyone's responses. This means that while RSVP cards are useful for the actual wedding day, they aren't really necessary for wedding showers.

Additional reporting by Naoimh O'Hare and Samantha Iacia.