Mother-of-the-Bride Attire Etiquette 101: Everything You Need to Know

Mother-of-the-bride attire can be confusing at first, especially since it's different for each wedding and couple. You probably have questions like: What do moms wear to weddings? What's the best color for the mother of the bride? And who picks the bride's mother's outfit? As with bridal fashion, MOB attire doesn't have too many steadfast rules. There are a few considerations to take into account, including the event's formality, the wedding party looks and most importantly, the couple's preference.

In general, the mother of the bride is encouraged to wear something she and her daughter both love. We've answered the most common mother-of-the-bride attire etiquette questions to make it easier for you to shop (so you can get to other fun tasks, like choosing accessories and a MOB hairstyle).

Photo: Elizabeth Austin Photography

In this article:

• What should the mother of the bride wear?
• What color does the mother of the bride wear?
• Does the mother of the bride choose her outfit first?
• Should the mother of the bride match the bridesmaids?
• Is the bride supposed to pick her mother's outfit?
• Should the mother of the bride wear a long or short dress?
• Who pays for the bride's mother's outfit?

What should the mother of the bride wear?

So, what does the MOB wear to her daughter's wedding? Mother-of-the-bride attire etiquette is constantly evolving. In the past, mother-of-the-bride dresses had a reputation for being matronly or overly conservative—but that's hardly the case anymore. (Psst: The same goes for grandmother-of-the-bride dresses, too.) Moms are encouraged to wear an outfit that they love (with the bride's approval, of course). Sleek evening gowns, trendy midi dresses, dressy jumpsuits and chic MOB pantsuits are all excellent options.

There are a few factors that can influence mother-of-the-bride attire. "No matter what outfit we're looking for, for a wedding, we really take into account the venue, the date and the seasonality," says Julie Sabatino, bridal stylist and founder of The Stylish Bride. You'll also want to consider the wedding dress code and what styles make Mom truly feel great. For example, the mother of the bride may not want to wear a long, heavy skirt or lace sleeves in the middle of summer, and she may prefer to cover up with a wrap or shawl for a winter wedding.

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What color does the mother of the bride wear?

There's not one specific or traditional dress color that the bride's mom should wear. The bridesmaid dresses and wedding color scheme can both influence mother-of-the-bride attire. Ultimately, the MOB should defer to the couple regarding what colors are appropriate for their ceremony.

Can the mother of the bride wear black?

It's acceptable for the mother of the bride to wear black, especially if the couple is having a black-tie wedding. However, Mom should always consult the bride beforehand and consider the venue, vibe and season. If the wedding color scheme consists of bright, punchy hues, the bride might request a style in a coordinating shade.

Can the mother of the bride wear white?

Unless you've received approval from the couple, it's best to steer clear from white, ivory or champagne hues as not to take attention away from the bride.

Can the mother of the bride wear patterned attire?

Mothers of the bride can certainly wear patterned dresses. In fact, a wedding in the spring or summer is a perfect time to pick out a floral mother-of-the-bride dress. However, as with wearing black or white, share your plans with your daughter.

Can the mother of the bride and groom wear the same color?

It's not necessary for the mothers of the bride and groom to match. The couple may prefer to have their moms wear complementary colors, though, in which case both are advised to discuss outfit ideas.

Does the mother of the bride choose her outfit first?

"Etiquette says that the mother of the bride picks their dress and color first," says Sabatino. "You don't want to match, but you do want to coordinate so that you're not totally out of scope."

You should start shopping for your MOB dress around six to eight months before the wedding date. While this leaves plenty of time for shipping and alterations, it's likely that the bride will have already selected her wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses by this point, allowing you to coordinate accordingly. It also allows time for you to discuss your attire with the mother of the groom. While not required, collaborating on your attire will make for a smoother process and eliminate any style mishaps. (Read about mother-of-the-groom dress etiquette to learn more.)

Photo: ALICIA RINKA PHOTOGRAPHY

Should the mother of the bride match the bridesmaids?

No, the mother of the bride doesn't need to wear the same color as the bridesmaids or the wedding party in general. However, the bride may prefer to have corresponding colors for a cohesive look. If the bridal party has mismatched dresses, the mother of the bride can easily find a look that complements the rest of the wedding party. If the bridesmaids are all wearing the same color, consider looking for a mother-of-the-bride dress in a compatible hue. A consultant at your local bridal salon can help with color matching if that's what the bride wants.

However, it's also fine for the mother of the bride to opt for an outfit that doesn't match the bridesmaids or the wedding color scheme, if that's what the bride prefers.

Is the bride supposed to pick her mother's outfit?

Choosing the mother of the bride's dress should be a collaborative effort. "In an ideal scenario, they would both fall in love with it. I'd say that doesn't always happen," explains Sabatino. "You want the bride's blessing, if that's possible, and make sure you are both on the same page."

The couple will likely have ideas and opinions on what their moms should wear, but Mom should get a say as well. As a general rule, it's best to ask for the bride's thoughts on color and style before starting the shopping process. This is especially important if Mom is considering a look that's similar to the dress of the bride, the bridesmaids or the mother of the groom.

Some brides may not have a preference for what Mom wears. If that's the case, any appropriate look will do.

Should the mother of the bride wear a long or short dress?

When deciding whether your mother-of-the-bride dress should be long or short, it's important to consider the wedding venue and formality. A formal setting calls for a more upscale ensemble (like something floor-length), while a shorter, more casual wedding outfit is appropriate for laid-back celebrations. Take inspiration from the wedding gown and bridesmaid dresses, as these can help influence what dress length the mother of the bride should wear.

Who pays for the bride's mother's outfit?

Traditionally, the mother of the bride pays for her own wedding attire. Unless the couple has stated otherwise, the MOB should be prepared to cover the cost of her dress.

Sarah Hanlon contributed to the reporting of this article.