The 5 Stages of a Romantic Relationship

Just like in life, there is a cycle in relationships. The stages of a relationship can tell you a lot about where you are (and maybe, even, where you'll end up!), whether you're ready for marriage, needing reassurance from your partner, or you're in the very beginnings of an incredible love story.

"What most people don't realize is that the early stages of love—from the honeymoon phase to the adjustment phase—are normal," relationship therapist Shlomo Slatkin tells The Knot. "The trouble is, when couples hit friction, they often assume the relationship is broken, when in reality...they've just hit stage two."

So what are the stages of a relationship? A healthy relationship has them all, from the uncertainty stage to the commitment stage; they each strengthen a relationship in their own ways. Which one are you in, right now, though? Is one better than the other? With the expertise of Slatkin, we've got all the deets on each of the five stages of a relationship, below.

In this article:

• The Honeymoon Stage
• The Uncertainty Stage
• The Adjustment Stage
• The Commitment Stage
• The Acceptance Stage

The Honeymoon Stage

Ah, yes, the honeymoon phase. This is likely the stage you're most familiar with (thanks, Hollywood!). According to Slatkin, this is one of the stages of a relationship that dating can bring you, and it's also what the American writer Harville Hendrix coined as nature's anesthesia. You might understand why. "This is the stage that much of the Hollywood cliché we receive about love is modeled after," Slatkin says. "This stage is often hormone-driven and can last anywhere from a few months to two years. It's real, but it's not the full picture."

It's real, he adds, but it's not the full picture of what the relationship will and can be. It's simply one of the first stages of a romantic relationship. If you know that this lovely (and often extremely beautiful) stage doesn't last forever, but can instead transform into a deeper connection, that's a win.

The Uncertainty Stage

Next up in the five stages of a relationship? The uncertainty stage. The one where you might not know if you're in a secure relationship or not. This stage, in the words of Slatkin, is often where couples start to feel uncomfortable and ask questions like, "Why are we suddenly fighting about little things?" or "Why don't they understand me like they used to?"

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This is actually normal. You're no longer projecting your ideal version of your partner—you're starting to see their differences and their wounds (and they're seeing yours). It's breaking down the honeymoon stage. And the good news is, you can get through this by being overly communicative with your partner, asking a lot of questions and, of course, learning what really makes both of you tick, in both the good and bad ways.

The Adjustment Stage

Of the stages of a relationship, there is an adjustment stage that comes after feeling uncertain. You've enjoyed the honeymoon phase, powered through your uncertainty, and now, you're in the adjustment period that every relationship goes through.

"The power struggle is where many couples panic and think they made a mistake. They often turn to friends or family who mean well, but sometimes give advice that encourages pulling away, not realizing there is a fourth and final stage," Slatkin says. "Couples who can make it through the power struggle can build a deeper relationship than ever before."

But how do you do that? Well, consider this time to really take in what you and your partner want. Do you value the same things? Are you compatible long-term? Are you both happy? Can you put in the work that a relationship requires for the next phase? If the answer is yes to these, you're pretty solid!

The Commitment Stage

"If couples can learn to work with the differences, they move into what we call conscious love," Slatkin says. "This is where the commitment deepens. You're not just in love, you're choosing each other intentionally, with clear eyes. It's not that everything's conflict-free, it's that you know how to repair and grow together."

Of all the dating stages of a relationship, this one feels really beautiful to experience—and even more so than the honeymoon phase. You both truly see each other, and you're ready for all that life has to bring you both.

The Acceptance Stage

Last, but not least, we have the final stage of a romantic relationship: the acceptance stage. Although it sounds similar to the stages of grief, these are for happier reasons. "Acceptance, in this context, means making space for both of you without feeling threatened," Slatkin says.

This stage will come after you're committed and feel comfortable being together, without feeling nervous about the partnership or what it brings. Ideally, this lasts for many years—or a lifetime, even. If you've reached this stage, what a lovely place to be in your romantic partnership. In love, happy and having grown from the stages of a romantic relationship.

Design by Ashley Detmering