Here's the Wedding Speech Order to Follow at Your Reception

Mapping out the schedule for your wedding day is an art form. You want everything to flow well for the entirety of the event, from the minute you start getting ready to the minute you make your grand exit with your soulmate. Choosing the wedding speech order is a major part of completing this task, since it's important to get the wedding toasts and speeches checked off before the dancing and festivities begin. To help you nail it down, we've outlined the traditional order of speeches at a wedding, along with some options for more modern wedding speech orders and ideas. But above all, the most important thing to remember is that this is just a guideline—you don't have to follow it exactly (or at all). Use this order of wedding reception speeches as a starting point, but feel free to adjust accordingly, too.

In this article:

• How Many Speeches Do You Have at a Wedding?
• Traditional Wedding Speech Order
• Modern Wedding Speech Order
• When to Schedule Wedding Speeches During the Reception
• Do You Have to Follow the Traditional Wedding Speech Order?

How Many Speeches Do You Have at a Wedding?

Traditionally, there are about five speeches given at weddings. According to Trista Croce, founder of Phoenix-based luxury wedding planning and event company BTS Event Management, a typical wedding speech order would start with the father of the bride. Next up would be the father of the groom, the maid of honor and best man, then a few words from the couple. That said, keeping the speech count minimal might not be your style—and that's totally okay. Nowadays, it's common for couples to mix up who gives speeches at a wedding and include everyone from additional wedding party members to siblings and grandparents.

Traditional Wedding Speech Order

Design: Tiana Crispino for The Knot

While there are no hard and fast rules, here's what the traditional order of speeches at a wedding reception looks like. Click the heart icon in the top right corner of the image to save it to your favorites and refer back to it later.

1. Parent(s) Hosting the Wedding

Since the bride's parents are traditionally the hosts of the wedding, they're usually the first to kick off the toasts. This speech is often given by the father of the bride, who will start off by welcoming guests and thanking them for coming. The father-of-the-bride speech can also include a heartfelt anecdote about the bride and some words of wisdom for the happy couple. Depending on the situation, couples may decide to have a mother-of-the-bride speech along with (or in place of) the father of the bride's.

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2. Parent(s) of the Second Spouse

Next up in the traditional order of toasts at a wedding, according to Croce, is the groom's family. This can include the father-of-the-groom speech, the mother-of-the-groom speech or even a few words from both parents. Some couples opt to have the father of the groom do a rehearsal dinner speech instead, as old-school wedding etiquette states that the groom's parents host the rehearsal dinner while the bride's parents host the wedding. But, as always, who speaks at the reception and in what wedding speech order will depend on your relationship, your family situation and your personal preference.

3. Honor Attendants

Following the parent speeches, Croce recommends having the maid of honor go next in the wedding toast order. However, some couples opt to flip the order and have the best man speak first followed by the maid of honor. The maid-of-honor speech typically includes an introduction and a short story explaining their relationship with the couple, personal anecdotes, funny stories, encouraging words and a closing remark with a toast.

Next up on the agenda is the best man speech, which can follow the same format as the maid-of-honor speech. The best man can start by introducing himself, congratulating the couple, sharing a story about the groom and offering nice words about their new spouse. They can also mix in a tasteful joke or two and end with a wedding toast to the newlyweds and their future together.

4. Couple

Today, many couples choose to close out the wedding speeches themselves. Whether that means doing both a bride's wedding speech and a groom's wedding speech or having just one of you take the lead, giving a couples' toast is a great opportunity to thank your guests for attending and signal that speeches are coming to an end.

Related content: How to Write a Wedding Speech

Modern Wedding Speech Order

More often than not, even the most "traditional" of couples adjust the traditional reception speech order to better suit their preferences and family dynamics. For example, a wedding with two grooms wouldn't have a father-of-the-bride speech, and a wedding with no wedding party wouldn't have the typical best man and maid-of-honor speeches. Ahead, we're breaking down a few ways you might want to switch things up with some unique wedding speech ideas.

1. Have Speeches at the Rehearsal Dinner

It's becoming more and more common for couples to have speeches at the rehearsal dinner rather than at the wedding reception, especially among those who plan on having a longer list of speakers. Whether you decide to have all of them done during this time or just a portion of them is totally dependent on your preference. Rehearsal dinners are often more casual, intimate and less structured, which means there's more wiggle room for additional speakers that may not have the chance to speak during the wedding reception. This is also a great route for those that want to maximize their time on the dance floor on the wedding day.

2. Expand the Speaker List

If there are other important people in your lives who would like to say a few words, there's no reason you can't expand the traditional speaker list. Whether it's wedding party speeches, a sister-of-the-groom speech, a brother-of-the-bride speech or even a daughter-of-the-bride speech, the number and order of speeches at your wedding day is entirely up to you.

3. Forgo Speeches Altogether

If you're not a fan of speeches or simply don't want them to be something that takes up time on your wedding day, you can forgo them completely. If you have loved ones who feel strongly about saying a few words, consider having them speak at the rehearsal dinner instead.

4. Save the Best Speakers for Last

When it comes to speeches for weddings, there's nothing wrong with saving the best speakers for last. If the father of the bride is a talented speaker and guaranteed to end the wedding toasts with a bang, why not have him speak last?

When to Schedule Wedding Speeches During the Reception

Wedding speeches are most commonly scheduled during mealtime at the reception. While the ideal timing will depend on how many speakers you'll have and how long each speech will be, you can generally expect this to be a good time frame as guests will be able to provide their undivided attention.

Are Wedding Speeches Before or After the Meal?

The sweet spot, according to Croce, is to start the wedding speeches about 3/4 of the way through dinner as guests are finishing up their meal and still seated. That way, once the speeches are wrapped up, guests will be done eating, tables will start being cleared and everyone will be ready to hit the dance floor and get the party started.

Timing is very important, especially with speeches, because you want to have your guests' undivided attention and keep them entertained and engaged all the way through. If speeches are done too early on during the meal, guests will still be finding their seats, chatting amongst each other and servers may be shuffling around, which can be noisy and distracting for guests. If the wedding speeches are done after the meal, guests may be feeling antsy to get up, move around and mingle.

Do You Have to Follow the Traditional Wedding Speech Order?

The traditional order of wedding speeches is a good starting point, but you should always feel free to do what works best for your specific situation. Wedding traditions aren't rules you're required to follow. "Family dynamics and friends are so different these days," Croce says. "This format is not going to suit everyone." Some people may also not feel comfortable with public speaking and choose not to give a speech. Our tip: Use the traditional order for wedding toasts above as a guideline and decide on the wedding speech order that makes the most sense for you, your partner and your guests. At the end of the day, the "suggested" wedding order of speeches is just that—a suggestion. What's most important is to go with what feels true to you and your partner.

Additional reporting by Kate Boswell and Shyla Watson.