7 Tips for Finding Love and Confidently Dating in Your 30s

Age is just a number, after all.
Couple enjoying cooking date with wine, dating in your 30s
Photo: Stocksy
Hayley Folk
by
Hayley Folk
Hayley Folk
Hayley Folk
The Knot Contributor
  • Hayley writes articles on a freelance basis for The Knot Worldwide, with a specialty in sex and relationships.
  • Her work has appeared in The Knot, Cosmopolitan, Refinery29 and more.
  • Prior to The Knot Worldwide, Hayley was a full-time editor at a business publication.
Updated Nov 27, 2024

Contrary to what society and current dating trends might have you believe, if you're not married by 30, your dating life isn't over. Seriously, it's not. When it comes to living it up and confidently dating in your 30s, this decade is perhaps the best time for it—even Carrie Bradshaw can attest to that.

"It's a golden age for dating," Veronica West, a relationship expert and psychologist tells The Knot. "You've survived the trial-and-error mess of your 20s, and now you're more confident and (hopefully) have fewer cringe-worthy pick-up lines to endure."

So whether you're dating in your 30s as a woman, dating in your late 30s or looking to learn how to start dating again in your 30s with confidence, we've got the true (and always fun!) expert-approved guide to getting back in the dating game, below.

The Truth About Dating in Your 30s

There is so much noise around dating in this era—and the advice for dating in your 30s can often feel cliché. But around here, we do think there are some truths to consider about your own golden age of dating, too.

Dating in Your 20s vs. 30s

Is dating easier in your 20s? If anyone actually says yes to this question, we'd be surprised. In your 20s, you might be younger, but you certainly don't have everything figured out. Dating, in our opinion, is actually so much more refined in your 30s, because you're more refined in who you are.

Dating Isn't Actually Harder in Your 30s

Does dating get easier in your 30s? We'd like to argue that yes, it does. "It is easier in some ways and more complex in others," West explains. "You're likely juggling a career, maybe kids or a plant collection that's become emotionally dependent on you. But the emotional clarity you've gained? That's the natural flex."

It's Really About Authenticity

According to West, dating in your 30s for men or dating in your 30s as a woman—or any gender, for that matter—is all about authenticity. By this age, you can approach dating in a much more authentic way and showcase who you truly are, rather than trying to appease other people. "It's all about authenticity—no more pretending to like heavy metal if you're a secret Taylor Swift fan," West jokes.

Where are People Finding Partners?

This depends, obviously, on your lifestyle. But where to meet a partner in your 30s can be through friends (who doesn't love a good setup?), dating apps and even hobbies.

The best apps for dating in your 30s, according to West, are Hinge where the serious folks hang out and Bumble if you like making the first move. If you're looking for something more serious, skip Tinder.

As for hobbies, we recommend joining a book club or taking a pottery class. (If you meet someone there, you already have something to discuss.) The less likely is accidental encounters, or meet-cutes at the grocery store when you both reach for the last avocado—but they can still happen.

Is It Too Late to Date?

"Nope. Love isn't a limited edition—it doesn't sell out," West says. "Plus, dating in your 30s means skipping the awkward "What are we?" phase of your early 20s and diving into meaningful conversations instead."

7 Tips for Dating in Your 30s

Ready to embark on your dating in your 30s adventure? Here are seven tips from West (and us!) below.

1. Own Your Story

Practice intentional dating! Remember: Your quirks and experiences make you unique—and if you're dating intentionally and embracing who you are, it's the best way to go.

2. Be Clear, Not Clingy

"Knowing what you want is sexy," West says. "Stalking someone's Venmo activity for clues about their weekend? Not so much."

3. Meet IRL Too

Sure, finding love on dating apps is possible, but make sure you're also meeting folks in real life, too—over coffee, shared hobbies or even a wrong number—which can lead to more organic connections.

4. Take Rejection Like a Champ

If someone's not into you, that's a "them" problem. Remember that not everyone will be, either. It's OK! Treat it like bad Wi-Fi: frustrating but not the end of the world.

5. Schedule Self-Care Dates

While you're looking for date ideas, remember to take yourself on your own dates, too. Hit the spa, binge your favorite show or conquer a 1,000-piece puzzle. A happy, relaxed you is irresistible.

6. Drop the Checklist

Nobody checks every box, West adds. Focus on shared values and chemistry instead of whether they have 2.5 kids and a Golden Retriever.

7. Laugh Through It

Dating is weird. Embrace the awkwardness, laugh at the missteps of a first date and remember—you'll have some fantastic stories for your future partner.

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