The New Age of Dating: Inside The Knot 2024 Relationship & Intimacy Study

Weddings and the ways we celebrate love and commitment are unique to our partnerships and day and age. Just compare your friends' wedding photos to those of your parents, or take a gander at the latest The Knot Real Weddings Study for proof. And that got us thinking: Are there new ways of dating, expressions of romance and markers of relationship satisfaction being popularized by today's couples? To find out, we took an in-depth look into modern relationships, surveying over 1000 dating, partnered and married individuals about how they're defining intimacy and romance.

Meet The Knot 2024 Relationship & Intimacy Study. Through our first-of-its-kind survey, we found that in 2024, intimacy encompasses a spectrum of connection beyond physical closeness. And romance isn't all about rose petals and expensive dinners anymore. With couples today embracing new ways of dating and approaches to romance, relationship satisfaction comes from doing what works for you and your partner with confidence. Here's what we found out.

In this article:

• How Do Most Couples Meet in 2024?
• Green Flags, Red Flags and What Daters Are Looking For
• Intimacy in 2024, Defined
• Date Activities: Exchanging the Extravagant for the Unexpected

How Do Most Couples Meet in 2024?

Before we get into the ins and outs of dating and relationships, let's take it back to how most non-engaged couples get their start. Is it through a lucky left swipe on a dating app? A chance meeting IRL? Interestingly, while many of those surveyed have met a partner online in the past (47%), dating apps don't reign supreme for our collective respondents. The majority of these lovebirds (62%) actually found their match through a friend or friends in common.

Online dating apps and sites were the second most popular place where those in serious relationships met their current partner, followed by both school (14%) and work (14%). So for those app-averse, an initial intro off-screen is more than possible. Furthermore, daters may have been finding more relationship success thanks to the interests, lifestyles and life-stages that are commonly shared in mutual social circles.

Green Flags, Red Flags and What Daters Are Looking For

Design: Tiana Crispino

Go green! When it comes to what someone is looking for in a potential partner (those green flags of the dating world), it all comes down to individual values and desires. However, there are several attributes that most daters rank highly when considering a relationship. In our survey, being easy to talk to was the top quality people look for in a partner (76%), followed by a sexual attraction or chemistry (72%).

Additionally, daters find a sense of humor (69%) to be one of the most important qualities in a potential partner. Whether it's expressed through a funny Tinder bio—ideas right this way—or nonstop banter, the desire for laughter and levity makes sense in an increasingly stressful world. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, an estimated 31.1% of U.S. adults will or have experienced an anxiety disorder at some time in their lives. The joy that comes through being able to laugh with your partner is something many need for a fulfilling relationship and genuine connection.

On the other end of the spectrum, common relationship deal breakers among those surveyed include a lack of trust or honesty (63%), poor communication (59%) and infidelity (52%). "One example of a non-negotiable I have had in a relationship is being talked down to," mentioned one participant. "I will not tolerate being talked to in a bad manner or have someone make fun of something that is not to be made fun of."

Intimacy in 2024, Defined

In 2024, how we show and share intimacy in relationships can vary greatly and be as unique as those expressing it. And as our data indicates, intimacy also morphs through the stages of a relationship.

82% of couples currently in a serious relationship use physical affection to nurture intimacy in their relationship, as well as quality time (81%), regular, thoughtful communication (70%), the expression of appreciation and gratitude (67%) and the sharing of new experiences (63%) or common interests (62%)—proving that intimacy can encompass a spectrum of physical and emotional forms to couples today.

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It's important to note that physical intimacy doesn't necessarily equate to sexual intimacy, and that intercourse and sex acts are just one way people may cultivate physical intimacy. Some forms of physical affection that aren't sexual can include acts like hugging, cuddling and hand-holding, all of which can promote the release and production of the hormone oxytocin, "which can help one to feel closer and more connected to someone and also reduce cortisol response to stress," according to the British Columbia Medical Journal.

Additionally, The Knot Relationships & Intimacy Study found that certain methods of physical affection may ebb and flow as relationships progress. Among those currently in a serious relationship, 38% report having sex multiple times a week. And shoutout to newlyweds: Among those within their first three years of marriage, the frequency of multiple times a week actually increases to 45%. However, this regularity of sexual intimacy returns to 38% as couples progress into years three to six of marriage. Having sex multiple times a week becomes less common (31%) when couples move into years seven to 10 of marriage.

Interestingly, parenthood and all the responsibilities that come with it don't necessarily stop couples from getting busy. In fact, more parents (38%) than non-parents (37%) reported having sex multiple times a week. Teach us your time-management skills, 'rents!

Another silver lining? Even with this decline in sexual frequency that occurs through the years, the volume of couples dissatisfied with their sex life remains relatively low, according to our report. Even among couples married 7 to 10 years, only 14% report being dissatisfied with their sex life. (Cheers, y'all.)

Date Activities: Exchanging the Extravagant for the Unexpected

Design: Tiana Crispino

While a media diet of '80s rom-coms and traditional relationship depictions may have you envisioning paths of rose petals and extravagant displays, 2024 is ushering in new, unexpected ways of expressing romance.

The ol' faithful date activities of dinner and/or drinks and movie theaters are still the most popular options (with 85% and 54% of single or currently dating respondents having enjoyed these particular date nights within the past three months). Couples and daters today are also increasingly exploring date nights that prioritize novel shared experiences and budget-friendly activities. Think: at-home options like couple-friendly video games, live events, physical activities such as hiking, creative projects, and classes that have you and your partner learning something new (like dance lessons or cooking classes).

"I met him on an online dating app and after chatting for a few weeks we both decided to go on a date to an amusement park," remembers one respondent. "The excitement of trying all the rides, the laughter and playful competition to win the biggest stuffed animal created an electric atmosphere."

Another emphasizes how the most memorable of dates don't necessarily come with a hefty price tag: "My partner and I were living in a hotel at the time, and didn't have a lot of money," they explained. "There was a decent-sized pond near the hotel we were staying in, so we got dressed up, grabbed food and a large quilt, and went to the pond and had a picnic. It was a beautiful day, and even though we were struggling a lot at that time we managed to have a lot of fun. It was such a happy day."

Married respondents also shared how often they're going on dates, and we tapped experts to discuss whether there really is a sweet spot or number of dates in marriage. Whether it's through unique date ideas or sex therapy resources that help bridge the gap between emotional and physical intimacy, we're all about embracing all the ways couples today are prioritizing romance, dating and relationship satisfaction. Consider us officially wooed by you!