Would You Split the Cost of Your Engagement Ring? Real Brides Weigh In

Here's what real brides-to-be have to say about going Dutch.
maggie seaver the knot wedding planning expert
Maggie Seaver
maggie seaver the knot wedding planning expert
Maggie Seaver
Wedding Planning Expert
  • Maggie Seaver is an Associate Digital Editor at RealSimple.com.
  • Maggie writes about life, career, health, and more.
  • Maggie was an editor at The Knot from 2015 to 2019.

Have you ever thought about going Dutch on your engagement ring (aka splitting the cost)? Engagement rings are beautiful, meaningful and one of a kind—which means they can also be pricey. According to The Knot 2017 Jewelry and Engagement Study, the average engagement ring spend has reached $6,351 (up from $5,095 in 2011).

When it comes to the idea of splitting the cost of the ring, some couples are vehemently against the idea of going Dutch on the diamond. It's tradition for the proposer to do the ring purchasing after all, and our study reveals the majority of grooms (70 percent) said they decided on the ring budget solo. But others take no issue with it—if you plan to mix finances anyway, it's a price tag that'll end up affecting both of you down the line.

That said, while our survey reports a third of couples hunt for ring styles together, and 70 percent of brides know how much their partner spent on the ring, only 8 percent of grooms actually decided on a ring budget together with their partner.

After combing through our survey, we wanted to hear from members of The Wed Thread, The Knot Facebook group for to-be-weds to talk about all things weddings in a safe place. Here's what they have to say about going Dutch on the engagement ring.

"Splitting the ring cost seems logical to me. In fact, when a couple is paying for their own wedding (such as ourselves) splitting everything from the engagement all the way through the honeymoon is what makes most sense to us. If we plan to spend the rest of our lives together, we are becoming one." —Natalie

"[My fiancé] bought mine, but I feel like going Dutch is perfectly fine, especially if you want an expensive ring you know [your partner] would have trouble affording." —Chitaia

"We're paying for the wedding bands together because we're a team and building a future together. Plus his dream ring cost more than mine, so I wanted him to have what he wanted since he picked out the perfect ring for me—but he picked out and paid for the engagement ring, mostly because I had no idea and was surprised!" —Ashley

"It depends on the financial situation. If the proposer can't afford [the ring you truly want] on their own, but the two [of you] together can, then yes." —Lisa

"Engagement ring? No, I don't agree with that. But wedding bands, yes. I have planned to buy my future husband's ring and he's planned to buy mine." —Kheleia

"My fiancé bought my engagement ring. It was a complete surprise and he picked the perfect ring for me, and I wouldn't have it any other way. We're buying each other's wedding bands." —Kristen

"[My fiancé] is old fashioned and wanted to start our forever by giving me the ring I wanted on his own. I think it evens out when it comes to the bands." —Jessi

"It's honestly up to the [couple]. If [the proposer doesn't want their partner] to know anything about it, then, no, going Dutch shouldn't be an option in that case." —Ashleigh

Still intrigued? Real brides weigh in on knowing how much their engagement rings cost, right here.

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