How to Write an Inclusive LGBTQIA+ Wedding Ceremony Script All Your Own

Craft a ceremony script that's authentic to you.

LGBTQIA+ couple kissing during wedding ceremony

Photo: Maskot | Getty Images

Updated Aug 07, 2025

Are you a WLW about to walk down the aisle? What about a man marrying the husband of your dreams? Or maybe you just fall somewhere on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum and you're about to say, "I do" to your forever life partner. If so, finding an LGBTQIA+ wedding ceremony script that celebrates who you are and love is likely on your wedding to-dos.

"For a lot of LGBTQ+ couples, this might be the first time their love has been celebrated exactly as it is, in front of the people who matter most," Cat Halsan, an LGBTQ+ specialist, wedding officiant and queer person herself, tells us. "And when so many wedding templates are built around traditions that don't reflect queer experiences, the script becomes a chance to reclaim the narrative—and the mic."

As she puts it, the person standing with you shouldn't just be ticking a legal box. They should see you. Using an LGBTQ+ wedding officiant, with a queer or same-sex ceremony script at hand, is an amazing way to feel safe and truly celebrated. And every couple deserves that.

So if you're inspired by the LGBTQIA+ wedding readings you've seen online, you want some queer AF humor blended into your ceremony or you want to incorporate wedding pronoun etiquette that feels just right, we've got you covered. The perfect elements for a same-sex wedding script with Halsan's expertise are explained below.

Incorporate a Moment of Pause

"Without exception, every queer couple I've worked with has wanted to begin their ceremony by holding space—a moment of pause, reflection, and purpose," Halsan explains. The pro goes on to say that this ceremony element is often a moment dedicated to the queer elders who came before us or those who didn't live long enough to see the kind of progress and equality we have today. It's for those still fighting for safety, love, and recognition in places where LGBTQIA+ rights are yet to be realized. It's also a way of setting the tone, Halsan adds.

"In some ceremonies, this moment gently, or deliberately, acknowledges those in the room who may still be grappling with LGBTQ+ inclusion," she says. "It's not confrontational; it's honest. It's a reminder that queer love is not only worthy of celebration, but is built on generations of resilience, resistance, and radical hope." To hold space is to honor the context in which we love. And for many LGBTQIA+ couples, that's where the ceremony truly begins.

Holding Space Wording Examples

Holding space can involve the officiant including wording, like these examples, in the inclusive ceremony.

Before we begin, let us take a moment to hold space—for the queer elders who walked before us, often without the freedom to love openly. For those who are no longer with us, and for those still fighting to be seen, heard, and safe. This love we celebrate today is part of a much bigger story—one of resilience, resistance, and radical hope.
As we gather here in celebration, we pause first to honor the context in which this love exists. We hold space for those who didn't live to see a world where this ceremony could happen so freely, and for those in our global community still longing for that same freedom.
Let us start not with vows, but with reverence. We hold space now for the LGBTQIA+ ancestors, trailblazers, and community members who brought us to this moment. Their courage is the foundation beneath our feet. May this be a space where love in all its forms is welcomed, affirmed, and cherished.

Extend Chosen-Family Acknowledgements

Next up? There are often chosen-family shoutouts in a wedding ceremony script meant for LGBTQIA+ couples. "For so many LGBTQ+ people, the concept of family doesn't always follow the traditional script," Halsan says. "The idea of being lovingly raised, fully accepted, and celebrated by blood relatives simply isn't the reality for a large part of our community." For many, this is where a chosen family may play a large role. Friends, mentors, colleagues and community members often step into the void LGBTQIA+ folks experience when birth family members aren't part of the picture.

"They're the ones who move you in and out of flats after heartbreaks, who hold your hand through coming out, who show up when you're down, and who dance with you when you need reminding that life can be joyful again," Halsan explains. When it comes to LGBTQ+ weddings, recognizing chosen family isn't just a sweet touch; it's often a fundamental part of the story. For many queer couples, their chosen family was the first people to affirm their love, to celebrate their relationship, and to reflect it back to them with joy. Including them in the ceremony is about honor, truth, and healing.

"When you finally arrive at the point where you're able to stand in front of a room of people and say, this is my love, this is my person, the people who got you there—who helped you believe you were worthy of love in the first place—deserve to be acknowledged."

Chosen-Family Acknowledgement Wording Examples

Consider adding these chosen-family acknowledgements into the wedding officiant script. "It might be a shoutout in the ceremony, a reading delivered by the friend who helped you leave your first toxic relationship, or simply holding space for the people who showed up when others didn't. However it's done, it matters," Halsan says.

In queer life, love doesn't always follow the script—and neither does family. We begin by holding space for the chosen family who show up, stand up, and love without limits. Whether you're here today as a best friend, a mentor, a queer elder, or the sibling someone found later in life—know that this ceremony honors you, too.
To the chosen family in this room: you are proof that love builds bridges where biology sometimes cannot. You have loved these two exactly as they are, and your support has shaped this love into something strong and steady. This ceremony is as much a celebration of your love as it is of theirs.
This couple's story is not just a love story between two people—it's also a story about the power of chosen family. The people who made it possible for them to be fully themselves. To love without apology. To believe they are worthy of joy. You are not just witnesses today—you are co-authors of this love.

Reinvent Ceremony Rituals

It's time to break with tradition and only incorporate ceremony elements that feel reflective of your partnership. "Let's be real —a lot of traditional wedding rituals can feel a bit… beige," Halsan says. "Especially in cis-het ceremonies, where the format hasn't changed in generations. The symbolism can feel tired, the gender roles outdated, and the meaning often gets lost in repetition."

The good news? Rituals don't have to be boring. One of the most beautiful things about queer weddings is the sheer creativity they can hold. It's another chance to reclaim, reshape and reinvent traditions. Rather than being boxed in by rituals that don't reflect their experience or values, queer folks are often building new ones from scratch.

"One of my couples poured two jars of glitter into a third—super symbolic of their relationship—messy, chaotic, and joyful," Halsan says. "Another of the most powerful rituals I've seen in LGBTQ+ ceremonies is rainbow handfasting: a twist on the ancient tradition where instead of one cord or ribbon, you invite your loved ones to take part by bringing ribbons in the colours of the Progress Pride flag."

Rainbow Handfasting Wording Example

You can do whatever ritual you'd like. But if you're interested in the rainbow handfasting, consider these wording examples.

Now, we come to a ritual that's been lovingly reimagined by LGBTQIA+ couples across the world—a rainbow handfasting. Handfasting is an ancient tradition, symbolizing the binding of two lives. But today, it becomes something more: a celebration of identity, community, and Pride.
One by one, your loved ones will come forward—chosen family, blood family, community—each bringing a ribbon in a color of the Progress Pride Flag.
Red for life. Orange for healing. Yellow for sunlight. Green for nature. Blue for harmony. Purple for spirit. Black and brown for inclusion and the strength of queer people of color. And pink, light blue, and white for our trans, nonbinary, and gender-expansive kin.
Together, these threads become more than symbolism. They become a tapestry of support. By the end, you won't just be bound to each other—you'll be held, quite literally, by the people who love and affirm you most.

Incorporate Humor

Humor is a great addition to any wedding, but especially LGBTQIA+ and gay marriage ceremony scripts. So, as Halsan puts it, "Why on earth would you risk your ceremony being boring, beige, or totally void of joy and humour?" Pro Tip: Consider using Provenance to get help writing hilarious ceremony scripts. In addition to the wording examples below, the platform can save the day and bring the fun to your queer or gay wedding officiant script. The Knot readers can exclusively access 10% the service with code KNOT10.

Humorous Wording Examples

In addition to tapping Provenance for some ideas, consider incorporating these humorous ideas into your queer or gay wedding officiant script.

You know it's a queer wedding when the guest list includes exes, besties, chosen family, and at least one person who helped dye the couple's hair at 2 a.m. last year.
We're here to celebrate love—and remind everyone that just because you're gay doesn't mean you automatically know how to plan a wedding... but somehow, these two still nailed it.

Use Language That's Authentic to You

Whether for a lesbian wedding ceremony script, a gay wedding script or a wedding script for any member of the queer community, using the language that speaks to you matters.

"It's about using language that resonates. Whether that's gender-neutral pronouns, the way you describe your relationship, a nod to queer icons, in-jokes, or deep-cut cultural references that only the other queer folks in the room will get, we want to feel in on the joke, not the butt of it," Halsan says. Working inclusive language into your wedding script for two brides or two grooms may actually look like skipping the words bride or groom.

Inclusive Wording Examples

Instead of being addressed as a bride or groom, consider one of these replacements.

To-be-weds
The marriers
The lovebirds
The nearlyweds
The newlyweds
Partners in love
Spouses-to-be
Couple of the moment
Legends in love
The main characters
The fiancés (regardless of gender)

End With a Meaningful Pronouncement

After you kiss your bride, your husband or your new life partner—and of course, say "I do!"—exit the ceremony in a beautiful, meaningful or even funny way. "An LGBTQ+ wedding ceremony script is far more than just words," Halsan says. "They are powerful acts of visibility, celebration and reclamation. They create space for authentic stories to be told, for chosen families to be honoured, and for love to be celebrated exactly as it is; joyful, complex, resilient and unapologetically queer." In a world where traditional wedding norms often fail to reflect diverse experiences, crafting a ceremony that truly resonates is an act of radical love and belonging—so end it that way, too.

Inclusive Pronouncement Wedding Examples

Surrounded by chosen family, wrapped in community, and held in love—this union is now official. Let this be your reminder: queer love is real, it is radiant, and it is revolutionary. Now, go dance, go kiss, go live your wild little love story.
And just like that—two stunning queers, one fabulous commitment, zero dry eyes. Go forth, take too many photos, kiss with your whole face, and please save me a slice of cake. It's official, babes—you're married!

For every couple across the LGBTQIA+ community, remember that your ceremony is your story, your voice, and your moment to shine. As you're working on planning an LGBTQIA+ wedding ceremony script, chances are you're on the hunt for a queer officiant to oversee the nuptials. Enter: The Knot Vendor Marketplace. You can find officiants and other pros who self-identify as LGBTQIA+-owned businesses on The Knot Vendor Marketplace after you filter results by your location. We know you'll find just the right one for you.