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Updated Oct 14, 2024Should You Invite Out-of-Town Guests to Your Bridal Shower?
Experts weigh in on shower etiquette.
A bridal shower is a long-held tradition that typically involves your closest friends and family. Chances are, some of those people don't live in the same place where you'll be having your bridal shower. If you're wondering how to go about inviting these guests or if you should invite them at all, you've come to the right place.
We tapped a few experts to weigh in on proper etiquette when it comes to inviting out-of-town guests. Read below for their advice and then head to The Knot Vendor Marketplace for even more help planning.
In this article:
- Do You Invite Out of Town Guests to the Bridal Shower?
- Is It Rude to Invite Out-of-Town Guests?
- Do You Invite Your Partner's Out-of-Town Guests?
- How to Approach Inviting Out-of-Town Guests
Do You Invite Out of Town Guests to the Bridal Shower?
If the out-of-town guests you're thinking of inviting are important to you, then yes you should invite them. They may not be able to attend due to scheduling conflicts or financial reasons, but chances are they'll appreciate the fact that you extended the invitation. You can even follow up with a text, email or phone call explaining that you completely understand if they can't make it so they don't feel pressured to attend.
Is It Rude to Invite Out-of-Town Guests?
"No. If they are important to you, inviting them to a major event is never rude," explains Jessica Evans, lead planner and floral designer for First Class Designs. "Give them the option and let them decide if they can make it." There are also a variety of factors to think about when creating your bridal shower guest list. "Consider the time between the wedding date and the bridal shower date, travel distance and any challenges that they may face attempting to be present for both events," says Stacy Brown, CEO and lead planner of Style Luxe Weddings. "If it's a close family member or friend that you feel obligated to invite, Think about ways that you can accommodate them like arranging transportation, perhaps a local location or extending a live stream invitation."
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Do You Invite Your Partner's Out-of-Town Guests?
Consider inviting important out-of-town family members of your partner like their parents, grandparents or other relatives that matter to the both of you. "You are blending your lives together; it's important to extend that to their friends and family," explains Evans. Again, you'll want to consider the same factors you thought about for your own out-of-town guests. "The decision to invite your partner's out-of-town guest depends on your relationship with the guest and what it means to you or your partner to have them present," advises Brown. "The logistics of the bridal shower should also play a role in your decision. Will they face challenges traveling for both events? Would it be financially feasible for them? I would first have a conversation with your partner to gain their input on the topic." Your partner likely understands the politics of the situation and will know if a certain guest would be upset if they weren't invited or if they'd prefer not to be. Communicate with your partner and get on the same page before invitations are sent out.
How to Approach Inviting Out-of-Town Guests
Making guest lists for all the events throughout your wedding requires thoughtful care and for some, it can be one of the more difficult tasks. Read on for how to go about inviting out-of-town wedding guests.
Use your wedding guest list as a starting point.
The good thing about creating a bridal shower guest list is that you've already made your wedding guest list. "If there are out of town guests on your main wedding guest list, consider also inviting them to the bridal shower," advises Brown. Obviously, you don't want to duplicate your wedding guest list but it gives you something to work off of.
Send invites out well in advance.
Sending out invitations well in advance is common courtesy. "Your guest experience means everything. Allow your guest enough time to prepare and make proper travel arrangements," says Brown. This could be the difference between someone RSVPing yes or no to the shower. You're probably not hosting the shower, so remind whoever is hosting to send out the invites on the earlier side to give guests ample opportunity to attend.
Provide lots of details.
"Include maps and special accommodations," recommends Brown. "Also include the appropriate contact information in case they have questions." Questions should be directed to the host and not the guest of honor.
Add a virtual component.
There may be some circumstances where your out-of-town guests can't physically be there but want to be a part of the celebration. "Video conferencing or video streaming are both great ways for guests to present remotely," says Brown. This allows your guests to be there in a way that works for them.
