The Knot Team Shares Their Sweetest Marriage Advice—It's All About the Little Things

There's nothing an unprompted back massage can't fix.
catherine jessee the knot contributor
Catherine Jessee
catherine jessee the knot contributor
Catherine Jessee
The Knot Contributor
  • Catherine Jessee is a Nathalie Dupree Graduate Fellow at Southern Foodways Alliance and is completing her Master of Arts in Southern Studies.
  • Catherine previously worked on editorial teams, but is currently studying Appalachian History.
  • Catherine worked for The Knot as a Digital Editorial Intern from 2016 to 2017.
Updated Jul 30, 2019

Here at The Knot, we love helping couples plan their proposals and wedding days, but it's the special commitment to a lifelong bond—the days, months and years together that follow your wedding day—that makes us so proud of what we do. Any lasting, healthy relationship has its ups and downs, but it's the small, thoughtful actions that happen day after day that really count in a lifelong partnership. The Knot team is here to share all the little things that mean the most to them in their marriages.

Say Thank You

"I noticed [awhile] back that my husband and I always say 'thank you' whenever one does something for the other—it can be something big, or something tiny. We just both really appreciate each other and I love that we're both vocal about that." —Sarah Waller, Strategy Specialist

Leave a Note

"I leave my husband little notes in the morning since he leaves for work before I get up. I'll hide them in his laptop, his car or next to the cereal box. I like for him to have a little something small from me to brighten his day." —Jessica Smith, Local GA Account Executive

"My husband and I leave little notes around for each other. Hidden in shoes, pockets, drawers, in the bottom of my makeup bag, in his tool box—basically any kind of unexpected place. The notes are usually simple—a quick 'I love you' or an inside joke. They always make me smile." —Leslie Karrer, Fashion Account Executive

"My husband leaves me a note every morning. It can be anything from reminding me to bundle up because I hate the cold, or wishing me good luck on my big meeting or telling me how wonderful [of] a wife and mother I am. It doesn't take much on his part, but I look forward to getting those notes and they start my day with a smile." —Mary Novick, Director, National Advertising Sales

Give a Compliment

"Take the time to mention the little things you love about your significant other! It can be a character trait, quirk or something special that makes you love [them]." —Caitlyn Z, The Knot Venue Concierge

Lend a Hand

"One thing my guy does is play my sous chef when it's my turn to cook. He likes to try to keep up with me and it's a way for us to bond." —Diane Thaete, Sales Training Manager

"Coming home from a trip to a warm meal prepared by your partner." —Michelle Phillips, Paralegal

"Starting the car in the morning, so you don't have to go out in the cold." —Dayna Hunt, Client Billing Support Specialist

"I never make my wife ask for a neck/shoulder massage when she has a headache." —Brandon Fish, Regional Sales Rep

"When it snows, he normally cleans off my car windows for me since he leaves before me." —Tenille Seuss, Marketing Systems Analyst

"My husband makes our family breakfast every morning and it allows me to enjoy a cup of coffee and spend time with our kids rather than being in the kitchen and I love it!" —Amanda Goetz, Director of Marketing

"I love that my husband often rubs my shoulders while I'm standing at the stove cooking us dinner. He's been doing it for years—completely unprompted—and I've come to appreciate it as a way for us to each do something nice for the other at the same time." —Ashlee Neuman, Senior Editor, The Bump

Bring Them Their Favorite Treat

"Sometimes on his way home from work he'll stop and get me a deli pickle, my favorite, just to let me know he's thinking of me. I'll take it over flowers any day!" —Erica Correa, Associate iOS Developer

"It's such a treat when he goes out of his way to bring me my iced tea exactly the way I like it." —Tara Ritting, Account Executive

"My favorite small gesture from my husband is when I get flowers or a treat (like my favorite candy) for no reason at all except that he was thinking about me." —Christina Frauendorfer, Print Strategy Specialist

"Have the other person's favorite song ready to play in their car when they get in to leave for work—it's a nice little surprise." —Christina Frauendorfer, Print Strategy Specialist

"I work remotely and when my husband leaves for his office he often stops at Wawa to get me my favorite coffee to start my day at work." —Maura Thomson, Regional Sales Rep

"My husband ensures that I'm the first person to read the new US Weekly when it arrives each week. [He] even hides it for me to make sure no one else touches it." —Tricia Dixon, Regional Sales Manager


"In this tech-dominated world, sometimes our 'quality time' is spent with phones in between us. I think it's very important to limit screen time when with a partner. For example, my significant other and I never have our phones out when we are on a date. Knowing your partner is 100 percent focused on you inspires meaningful conversation and personal connection." —Jacqueline Cox, Insights Analyst

A Hug or Kiss—Just Because

"Giving hugs for at least five seconds (if not longer) each time!" —Erica Correa, Associate iOS Developer

"Never end an argument without a hug or kiss (even if you're still mad)." —Dayna Hunt, Client Billing Support Specialist

"Every time I leave the house, even if it is just to go to the store or for a long trip away, I always hug my wife and my daughter. It seems like a small thing, but you never know if that will be the last time you see them or not. It doesn't take much time and it feels good to let them know that I care about them enough to tell them I love them and give them a hug." —Daryl Wills, Senior Graphic Designer

Be Generous

"Giving your partner the last bite of dessert—that is totally true love." —Jade G., The Knot Venue Concierge

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