Does the Groom Plan the Bachelor Party? We Asked the Experts.

We've got the tea on who should plan and how the groom can help.
guys at a bachelor party
Photo: Petar Chernaev | Getty Images
Sarah Title - Bridal Fashion & Shopping Expert.
Sarah Title
Sarah Title - Bridal Fashion & Shopping Expert.
Sarah Title
Bridal Fashion & Shopping Expert
  • Sarah writes a variety of content for The Knot and WeddingWire, including bridal fashion advice and product recommendations.
  • Sarah’s work has also been featured in Brides, Nicki Swift, Betches and Style Me Pretty.
  • Sarah lives in Alexandria, VA with her (new) husband and golden retriever named Brady.
Updated Nov 28, 2023

Bachelor parties have a reputation of being a bit out of control. But that doesn't mean there shouldn't be some kind of plan in place going into it. In fact, having an itinerary of some kind will help keep things running smoothly and help you avoid any hiccups when the day or weekend arrives. While there's no one correct way to plan a bachelor party, there are a few steps you should definitely plan on taking before the festivities begin. Below we've answered a few bachelor party planning questions to help you get started.

In this article:

Does the Groom Plan the Bachelor Party?

Typically, the best man or groomsmen plan the bachelor party. However, they usually consult with the groom to see what his preferences are on location, dates, activities, guest list and more. Of course, the groom can be involved as uninvolved as he'd like.

How Can the Groom Help Plan

"The groom can be a great resource in planning the bachelor party without having to take lead," says Mandy Connor, Owner and Lead Planner of Hummingbird Events and Design. "The best bachelor parties involve helpful input from the groom regarding his likes and preferences for the overall experience."


The groom should have a say in when the bachelor party takes place—after all, if he can't make it, there is no party! The groom should identify weekends that will and won't work with his schedule to make sure he can attend. If you're considering a surprise party, work with the groom's future spouse to pinpoint a date.

Guest List

The groom should have complete control over the guest list. It's his party and he can invite who he wants to. If he plans on including other guests who aren't in the wedding party, that's totally fine. "The groom should start by providing the guest list and guest contact information to the best man or planning participants," recommends Connor. Once you get an idea of how big the party will be, you can begin planning.


"If the groom is open to having a surprise bachelor party, it is still very helpful to have him provide ideas regarding his interests for the party," suggests Connor. "Consider creating a list of questions for him to help direct his vision. This will help provide guidance while preventing the groom from feeling pressure to do all of the planning." Questions can range from activity suggestions to bar and restaurant recommendations. Be sure to offer plenty of options so he doesn't feel like he has to do it himself.

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When it comes to the bachelor party budget, this is something that should be worked out among the bachelor party guests. "Realistically, the groom should not be involved in budgeting. This event is essentially a gift to the groom in his honor and he should not be weighed down with conversation pertaining to budgeting," advises Connor. That being said, it's good to get the general idea of what kind of bachelor party he'd like to have before planning even begins. Does he want something lowkey and local? Or is he looking to go all out and make it a full destination weekend? Answering those questions alone will give you a better idea of how much the party will cost.

What to Do If Your Best Man Isn't Planning

In some cases, the best man may not be the, well, best man for the job. Whether he's a younger brother or isn't able to make the weekend for some reason, the groomsmen can step up and help. The groom might nominate someone he thinks is best to take on the planning role, or you could divide up duties amongst the group. One person could be in charge of accommodations, one could research bars and restaurants, one handles activities, games, etc. so that one person isn't bearing the brunt of the planning. But what if groomsmen also aren't involved in the planning?

Enlist help from your future spouse.

Who knows you better than your other half? Ask them to help come up with some fun ideas or plans. While you won't want them to plan everything from top to bottom, they could at least provide some inspiration for activities, locations and other aspects of the party.

Get other guests involved.

Cousins, college roommates, coworkers, you name it. If they're being invited to the bachelor party, ask them for suggestions of things to do. You could even create a poll and ask people attending to write in what they'd like to do at the bachelor party. Then you can designate jobs for attendees and watch as your big celebration comes together.

What to Do if the Groom Doesn't Like the Bachelor Party Plans

If the groom isn't totally into the itinerary you've set, that's ok. If you've planned far enough in advance there should still be time to switch things around (for the most part). "If you are one of the members planning the bachelor party, be prepared with several options to present to the groom," says Connor. "You likely know him best and will certainly know his favorite activities, but having options allows for flexibility in planning the perfect bachelor party." While a surprise bachelor party might sound fun in theory, getting his sign-off on a variety of options will help manage his expectations of what to expect. But, if he's still not into what you've come up with, there are a few things you can do.

Go back to the drawing board.

Revisit some of your old ideas that you floated by him. Was there a specific activity or restaurant that he seemed excited about that didn't make its way into the final itinerary?

Ask for specifics.

Ask the groom what specifically he'd like more of. Would he like less time spent at the Airbnb or hotel and more time doing things? Or vice versa? Was there an activity he was really looking forward to that didn't make the final cut? The best way to plan a memorable bachelor party is to make sure the groom gets everything he wants.

Ask the groom for ideas.

If he's not into any of the other options you have, let him look into a few things. While it's traditionally the job of the best man or groomsmen to plan the bachelor party, your groom might have his own way of doing things. Let him take the reins if that's really what he wants to do, and you can handle any logistical details.

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