The Groom's Role in Planning the Bachelor Party

Does the groom pitch in funds? Can you leave people off the guest list? Even bachelor parties have some semblance of rules.
Robert Mortiz
by Robert Mortiz

Are you dreading (or maybe craving) a night of lap dances and tequila shots? Do you trust your best man to plan the perfect stag night, or would you like the chance to throw in your two cents about your bachelor party preferences? How about the guest list -- do you have a say on who's coming to your bash?

Set Your Limits

There really aren't any hard-and-fast rules about planning the bachelor party. After all, we're talking about an event that could take you anywhere, from a swanky steak dinner to a sweaty lap dance. With that kind of range, it's hard to create fixed precedents, so if you want to have a say, go right ahead. If you know your best buddies are planning a event that you can't deal with (for fear that your fiance wouldn't walk down that aisle with you afterwards), tell them before your party crashes and burns. Likewise, if you've always longed for one last wild night before marriage, let your best man know what's on your mind.

Let it Ride

But make sure you're not too involved. Do you really want to have to deal with organizing your own party? The details (hiring the limo, making reservations) can be a hassle. Let your best man and brother-in-law know your thoughts about the event itself, then sit back and let them do the dirty work. One caveat: You can adopt a laissez-faire attitude, but make sure you're still the one who draws up the guest list.

Tame Tensions

For your last bash as a bachelor, you'll want to avoid inviting anyone who might kill your buzz. This includes testy relatives you barely know, that frat brother who was relentless during hazing, and any other annoying acquaintance you've always politely endured for the sake of the crowd. In other words, your bachelor party is too important to sacrifice for the sake of being P.C. Likewise, make sure there's no one missing from the list -- coworker, squash buddy, bookie -- that you just couldn't party without.

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