Why You Need to Put Your Phone Away on the Honeymoon

Plus, date nights.
Two people looking at a map with computer.
Thomas Barwick/Getty Images
Natasha Huang-Smith
by Natasha Huang-Smith
Updated Dec 26, 2022

Going on a date or a trip just isn't great when it's you and all the people on Instagram, Reddit, Facebook, and Tiktok. Every relationship requires connection and communication and ironically, these might also be the things that cast a downward spiral between a couple. There is nothing worse than thinking you will be spending quality time with someone, only to sit across from them, memorizing the lines on their forehead instead. While cell phones and social media have in fact kept us connected in more ways than one, it also has been the source of much disdain, irritation and frustration due to its easy distractions, mindless scrolling apps and the inability to simply be in the moment.

It's a fact our generation is addicted to our devices and our social skills and relational health are dwindling. It's completely understandable that cutting out cell phone and social media use in our daily lives is nearly impossible, but keeping your phone at bay on your honeymoon, special occasions and date night should be the gold standard. You wouldn't want honeymoon regrets, after all. Everybody wants to feel seen, heard and understood which is why our phones exist to begin with so let's just use them with more intention. Here are some reasons why unplugging is necessary and tips for how to maximize your love languages, like quality time.

It's Poor Etiquette

It's unnecessarily rude–and you aren't rude. Imagine having an in-depth conversation with someone (they're engaged and listening but then suddenly their eyes shift away to a blinking phone), and they immediately break their concentration from you. No matter what, you are bound to feel like what you were just saying did not carry more weight than the incoming phone distraction. Engaging with intention such as eye contact and body language is important in spending quality time with someone and making them feel important.

It's Distracting

You know the feeling when you hear a familiar ringtone or message ping and you immediately begin searching for your own phone thinking it is yours. Or perhaps you are having a nice meal on your honeymoon and you leave your phone on the table and it lights up with a message; you can't help but to glance over and see what has popped up on the screen. The problem is, whether it was a simple calendar reminder, a new follower on Tik Tok or a text from your mother-in-law, you are now completely removed and distracted from what is actually going on in front of you at dinner. While I am guilty of this myself (I tend to want to post everything on social media due to the nature of work), it's important to intentionally unplug from your screen and be physically present.

Our Tip: A screen-free evening or vacation doesn't mean you have to completely leave your phone at home, especially if you use the phone as a camera to take videos and photos. Simply switch to airplane mode and you are free to use your phone's camera without distractions.

It Harbors Resentment

When you are out on a trip with your loved one, your hope would be that you will be the number one priority. When your loved one is constantly checking their phone, listening to podcasts, scrolling Tik Tok, you're bound to feel like those things are more important than you and begin to harbor resentment towards your partner and the tech distractions.

Our Tip: Try baby steps. Going off the grid entirely can feel scary and impossible but taking baby steps in that direction can lead to some positive realizations and great outcomes. First try eliminating one source of tech noise by setting time boundaries on work emails, texts, and calls. If you have jobs where that is not possible, try setting timeframes around when social media or leisurely screentime can take place and change your 'do not disturb' mentality to include time with your partner not just time when you are asleep.

It Robs You of Presence

Recently on a trip to Hawaii, I spotted a few dolphins swimming and leaping out of the water in tandem and signaled to everyone on the boat to come see the beautiful sight. I noticed a couple (possibly honeymooners) frantically trying to get connectivity to post the dolphins and completely missed out on the sight itself. They were unable to be present because they were too worried about their future post.

Our Tip: Be in the moment. Be aware of where your focus is when you are with your spouse. Observe them and take in their habits and motions. Simply acknowledging little things in your head about them keeps you focused in the moment.

It Creates Negative Body Language

Posture says everything and when you are hunched over your phone, squinting at your screen, your body language is not warm and embracing but rather cold and shut off. How many times have you seen people at the beach crouching over their phones to block the light to continue whatever it is that is more important than soaking in the warm sand and salty ocean breeze?

Our Tip: Make it a point to put as much effort into a love language that your partner enjoys as you would using your phone on a sunny day at the beach. Whether it is getting up early to prepare breakfast in bed or holding hands on a leisurely walk, a phone is a non-essential part of making someone feel physically and positively engaged with you.

It's Addicting

You find yourself in a grocery line, waiting for coffee or carline and you automatically pick up your phone and click on your texts or most used app and begin scrolling through. Day in and day out, this habit begins to engrain itself into our daily lives and overall behaviors around our phones. Try doing a check in with yourself today and count how many times you pull out your phone out to aimlessly wander into digital blackholes. Remember: smartphone, social media and tech addiction is a real thing.

Our Tip: When you find yourself reaching for your phone out of boredom, take a mental note of that and instead look at your surroundings. What is the weather like? What sounds do you hear? Is there a familiar smell in the air? By engaging your other senses, it will help you take steps forward without relying on your phone as an automatic touchpoint the second you have a free moment and hopefully bring more awareness to how addictive our phones can be.

The Final Takeaway

A digital detox is necessary whether big or small. Cell phones and relationship issues have to be addressed. Rather than panicking for reasons like low battery or bad internet connectivity, real-life relationships may be ruined due to prioritizing digital ones. By powering down and turning in, we will all experience a better quality of life and improved relationships. Now, go out and smell the flowers, connect with your partner, and focus on the honeymoon you've imagined for years.

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