Experts Share Who Holds the Rings at a Wedding for Safekeeping

There's one tiny item at a wedding that can cause a disproportionate amount of stress. The rings. These small, but oh so expensive, pieces of metal symbolize the entire reason for the day, and that's why who holds the rings at a wedding can be a loaded decision.

Couples often envision an adorable ring bearer walking down the aisle with the ring sitting atop an embroidered wedding ring pillow, but, as darling as that might sound, it's not necessarily realistic. There's a lot that can go awry between one end of the aisle to the other, and the safest place to keep the rings might be with a responsible adult rather than a cute kid (or a dog).

Need some help thinking through the options? Here's what the experts have to say about choosing who holds the wedding rings and how to make a decision that will ensure your rings make it from point A to point B (on your finger!).

In this article:

• Who Holds the Rings at a Wedding Ceremony?
• How to Decide Who Holds the Wedding Rings
• Who Holds the Rings Before the Wedding?

Who Holds the Rings at a Wedding Ceremony?

Your first inclination when choosing who holds the rings at the wedding might be a responsible party that has a key role in the wedding. This could be the best man, maid of honor or even the officiant.

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But Jude Douglass, Sea to Sky Officiant in British Columbia, Canada, says that while the traditional choice is one of these members of the wedding party, there are no strict rules designating the safekeeping of the ring solely to the best man's duties or the maid of honor's duties. "Modern weddings see couples choosing someone trustworthy who is special to them. Sometimes one person will hold both rings, but I've also seen each partner choose one special person."

A Parent

"Sometimes, couples use the ring moment as a way to honor someone special, like having a parent hold them," says Chris Weinberg, founder and CEO at Chris Weinberg Events in Miami. Your parents will already be sitting at the front of the ceremony, so it also makes sense logistically. They can easily pop up and hand the rings off at just the right moment.

Officiant

The officiant will stand up at the front of the ceremony with you, so letting them hold onto the rings makes it a seamless experience. They'll be able to pull them out at just the right moment, no fumbling over where the ring keeper might be.

Best Man or Maid of Honor

The most classic choice for who carries the rings at a wedding is the best man or maid of honor. Presumably, you trust this person to be an accountable adult, and keeping track of the rings throughout the day is one less thing you have to worry about when they've got it under control.

An Unsuspecting Family Member

If you have a family member who is not directly involved in the ceremony, but you would like to honor them in a way that feels truly unique, Weinberg suggests surprising them with the rings. "Place the rings under a family member's seat, such as one of the mothers of the couple, for a surprise moment during the ceremony," Weinberg explains.

Ring Bearers

"Ring bearers are a great choice. They are adorable, and it is a great way to include younger family members or children of close friends in the ceremony," Weinberg says. "But I don't recommend giving them the actual rings. It is a lot of pressure and risk." Let the ring bearer's responsibilities include looking cute as they walk down the aisle, but have an adult waiting with the actual rings on the other side.

A Note on Dogs

"I once had a couple tie the rings to their dog's collar, but they intentionally tied them loosely so they'd be easy to access. The rings fell off mid-aisle," Weinberg recalls. She explains that they eventually found them, but this taught her to always make sure the rings are safely secured if the keeper of the rings does not have opposable thumbs or hands to hold.

How to Decide Who Holds the Wedding Rings

Deciding who holds the rings shouldn't be a rash or last-minute decision. You should think thoughtfully about the right person to play a role in that moment. As Weinberg says, "This is a sweet and thoughtful way to include someone meaningful to the couple."

As a wedding celebrant, Carolyn Holmes, at Rites of Way based in Bedfordshire, England, works closely with couples as they plan each detail and word of their ceremony. This always includes a discussion about the exchange of the rings and what will be said as the rings make their way from one person to the next. "This discussion happens two to three months before the wedding, and I see my couples putting careful thought into who will hold the rings," Holmes says. "It's often a lovely opportunity to include someone special in your wedding ceremony. It could be a grandparent, a cousin or a close friend." Think carefully about who you choose, ruminating over who will be the most responsible, of course, but also who you want to play a key role in ushering in your new chapter.

Who Holds the Rings Before the Wedding?

The time from when you purchase the rings to when you say "I do" and actually begin wearing your wedding ring daily is perhaps the most stressful time. If you're keeping the rings in a wedding ring box, tucked away safely in a drawer, you'll probably find yourself checking it weekly, if not more often, just to make sure it's still there.

"Prior to the ceremony, I suggest keeping the rings somewhere secure, like with your planner, in a safe at the venue or with a trustworthy friend," Weinberg says. She adds that this is a good time to decide in advance who will hold the rings and who will get them to the venue on the wedding day. "Making sure your planner and officiant know the plan is one of those little details that will make the ceremony feel seamless," Weinberg says.