How to Deal With Last-Minute Wedding No-Shows

You've sent out your wedding invitations, received all the RSVP cards, mapped out the reception seating chart, and created escort cards. While you've done everything possible to prep for the big day, there's one issue that you probably haven't planned for: wedding no-shows. No-show guests can be frustrating for a few reasons: You've already paid for their presence at the wedding (the average couple spends about $266 per guest, which is no small amount) and set aside a seat for them. While the focus on your special day should be on celebrating with the family members and friends who are present, you might find yourself miffed about the last-minute wedding guest cancellations. Here's how to deal with the unfortunately common issue of wedding no-shows.

What Are Wedding No-Shows?

Simply put, wedding no-shows are guests who RSVP'd yes for a wedding or event, but end up not coming. Sometimes these no-show guests give the couple or a close loved one a heads up that they aren't able to attend, but other times there's no forewarning. Last-minute no-shows can often cause a scramble at the wedding reception, as the caterer, wedding planner and venue staff will have to account for the missing guest or guests.

Why Do Guests No-Show to a Wedding?

There are a variety of reasons why guests don't show up for a wedding, many of them beyond their control. The most common reason for a no-show is illness. Before the COVID pandemic, guests might show up to a wedding feeling under the weather, but nowadays, more guests are opting to stay home if they're sick—and that's a good thing. The last thing you want is for your other loved ones to get sick because a guest felt obligated to attend. In fact, many couples are adding a note to their wedding website letting guests know that they shouldn't attend their wedding if they're feeling ill.

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Other reasons for last-minute no-shows include severe weather, major traffic, childcare issues, injury, work crisis, family emergency, or yes, oversleeping (oops!). If you're hosting a destination wedding, guests may encounter flight cancellations or other travel problems that may prevent them from attending your big day. It's pretty rare that guests won't attend your wedding at the last-minute because they "didn't feel like it", but it happens.

What Is the Average No-Show Rate at a Wedding?

While there's no documented average no-show rate for a wedding, we've heard other outlets report that you should expect 5 to 10 percent of guests who RSVP'd yes not to attend. That figure seems a bit high to us, but there's a pretty high likelihood that at least few guests to cancel last minute on your wedding day.

Should You Invite More Guests to Account for Last-Minute Wedding Guest Cancellations?

In a word: no. This is a case where you should definitely err on the side of caution. While it's true that chances are slim every last guest you invite will be able to make it to your wedding, it's definite that it will be a huge headache for you to scrounge up more dough if more guests than you expected say that they'll be able to make it. The solution? Cut down your wedding guest list to a size your money can manage, and until every last RSVP card has come in (and every last phone call to track down those errant replies has gone out), assume that they're all going to be there. Then if your final headcount is lower than you expected, great—you'll be able to pass that number on to your caterer, rental company and so on, and the money is still yours.

How Should You Handle Wedding Guest No-Shows?

First things first, assign a wedding party member, close family member or wedding planner the role of emergency contact. You'll have enough to deal with right before tying the knot, and won't want to field the calls from frantic guests who are suddenly unable to attend. Publicize the emergency contact's information to your guests on your wedding website and in any final communication.

Many couples opt to send out final reminders to their guests via email a few days before the wedding, letting them know where to be and when. This can help combat late arrivals or confusion about the venue, but illnesses and other emergencies may still happen.

Talk to your vendors about how they'll handle wedding no-shows, and how this information should be communicated to them on the day of. Your caterer, venue staff and/or wedding planner may be able to move tables and chairs around at the reception to make no-shows less obvious. They've likely handled situations like this before, so they should have a game plan.

Circulate a guest list with each person's contact information among your closest family and wedding party members. If they notice a guest is missing and haven't already heard from them, they can reach out to check in.

Try not to get too upset about any no-shows. These are usually situations beyond anyone's control, so your best bet is to focus on the positive—that you're celebrating with many of your loved ones, and you're finally newlyweds!

We also recommend reaching out to any no-shows after the event to see how they're doing and let them know they were missed. This should come from a place of genuine concern and not accusation. It's doubtful that these guests wanted to miss your wedding, so don't make them feel worse about the situation.

Can You Send an Invoice or Bill to Wedding No-Shows?

We've recently heard seen some talk on social media about newlyweds sending an invoice or bill to guests who didn't show up. While it's super frustrating that you likely had to pay a significant amount for guests who never attended, by sending a bill you're causing even more damage to your relationship—and perhaps ending it all together. Is it worth it? Before taking this drastic action, take a few weeks to take a breath and separate yourself from the situation. You'll likely realize that sending your no-show guests a bill will do more harm than good.

What Should You Do If a Wedding Vendor No-Shows?

You may have heard horror stories of wedding vendors not showing up to an event—and while this is very rare, it does happen. Most wedding pros have a clause in their contract with a contingency plan in case of emergency—be sure to read that carefully before hiring. If a vendor cancels with little or no notice, work with the rest of your vendor team (especially your wedding planner!) to try to find a replacement.

What Do You Do If You're a Guest Who Can't Make it to a Wedding at the Last Minute?

If you've RSVP'd yes to a wedding and suddenly can't make it, you'll want to reach out to someone close to the couple (though not the couple themselves, they'll be busy!) to inform them about the situation. If you're able, check the couple's wedding website to see if there's an emergency contact listed. If not, call someone close to the couple—their parents, a wedding party member, etc. to let them know you won't be there. And even if you aren't able to attend the wedding, you should still be sure to send a gift. Also, it's a good idea to call the couple shortly after the wedding to tell them how sorry you are that you had to miss the event, and wish them well.