19 Wedding Bride Duties for a Smoother Planning Process
Modern brides don't always follow the traditional path, and forging your own way during wedding planning is a must. Certain bride duties have always remained consistent, and for good reason. (Especially when it comes to shopping for your wedding day look. Who else will find the perfect wedding day fit for you?) And as for the groom's responsibilities for a wedding, we're all about equality here, which is why we encourage you two to divide and conquer, planning the only way you both can.
Something as simple as a wedding planning checklist can really help during the journey, along with knowing the right wedding etiquette for yourselves, your wedding party and guests. Setting expectations ahead of time is key to any future marriage.
So, what are the duties of a bride? We spoke with wedding and event planner Nora Sheils of Bridal Bliss in Portland, Oregon, who gave us some helpful tips. She says, "Traditionally, wedding planning duties almost always fell on the bride and her mom. Today, things have changed quite a bit, but the bride still tends to be the project manager." Whether you're sticking with tradition or want a more modern take on your day, here are some things to consider for your wedding day responsibilities.
1. Choose Her Side of the Wedding Party
One of the most fun parts of wedding planning is when you choose your bridesmaids (and/or bridesmen). There are many ways to ask your friends to be part of your bride squad, like with specially curated boxes or a surprise delivery of flowers, and then your journey down the aisle can truly begin.
2. Coordinate on the Budget
Depending on what the bride's family pays for, your expectations and any other money must-haves, sitting down with your S.O. to determine the budget should be one of the first things you do together. Plus, handy tools like The Knot Budget Advisor make it easy by letting you enter your wedding location and see what the local costs look like while customizing your budget.
3. Select Her Side of the Guest List
Another of the bride's responsibilities is choosing which friends, family and loved ones will sit on your side for the wedding day. Narrowing down the guest list with your future spouse and their list of guests will also help you configure the budget, any dietary needs and more. If your parents are paying, as a courtesy, you also should set aside a few spaces for their friends or extended family.
4. Send Save-the-Dates and Invites
Once you've set the wedding date, venue and other key info, it's recommended you send those save-the-dates ASAP. Invitations will follow later, but with sites like The Knot, you can find cohesive themes and layouts for all of your paper needs.
5. Assist With Prewedding Events
Whether you're having a bridal shower or a wedding shower, staying involved with any prewedding events is helpful for the loved ones throwing these. (And if you need a refresher, here are some tips on bridal shower etiquette.) You can contribute to the set-up, theming, menu and so much more to any parties leading up to the wedding day.
6. Research and Hire Vendors
There's no doubt you have an idea of what type of event you want, so finding vendors who fit your wedding day needs is all about the research and bringing your Pinterest board to life. Sheils adds, "Many [couples] have… hired wedding planners, which has made planning easier and more organized for everyone involved! However, the bride is still most commonly the final decision maker, with the help of her soon-to-be spouse." Another helpful tool to have in your back pocket? The Knot Vendor Marketplace. This is a simple, streamlined way to find all the wedding vendors you need, which makes it easier to organize them all in one place.
7. Create the Wedding Website and Registry
A wedding website is kind of your all-inclusive space to answer guest questions, gather RSVPs and direct loved ones to your registry. Be sure to include your website link on invitations or save-the-dates, and you can even use this opportunity to get creative. Share engagement photos, info on your wedding party and even a honeymoon fund if your registry is sparse.
8. Find a Wedding Day Look
Probably the most exciting of all duties of a bride: saying yes to the dress. For this, be sure to research shops that offer the styles you like within your budget, and consider attending sample sales or trunk shows that may be happening around the time of your shopping trip. If you're going for a custom gown, allow enough time before your wedding for shipping or alterations.
9. Design and Decor Elements
Trying to figure out what kind of wedding to have? Many brides love to have fun with the overall aesthetic and design elements to create their color palette, theme and more. Sheils also recommends utilizing tools like Canva to create design decks to help visually pair everything together before making any purchases toward decorations and accents.
10. Schedule Hair/Makeup for the Wedding Day
Making sure you and your crew look wedding-ready is a must, so booking the hair and makeup artists ahead of time gives you a chance to do trial sessions beforehand. Pro tip: Book any nail services the day before the wedding, complete with champagne, for a relaxing time with your faves that will have you totally pampered and styled so you're ready for your wedding ring close-up shots the next day.
11. Choose Bridesmaids/Bridesmen Attire
Another of the bride's responsibilities for wedding planning is helping the wedding party with their attire. Whether you plan on shopping together locally or leaving them to their own devices with a specific color palette, providing your wedding party with some guidelines will help make the process run much more smoothly. As an example, if you're having a summer soiree, direct them to websites with brightly colored maxi dresses in floral print that they can mix and match.
12. Write Vows
If you two plan to write your own vows, be sure to allocate enough time to this bridal task. It can be especially handy if you two coordinate ahead of time on a specific template or loose guide that includes key phrases. Matching your vows tonally and length-wise will help keep the ceremony flow better.
13. Track the RSVPs (and Confirm Final Counts)
Add this to your bride duties checklist: RSVPs and final headcounts. Despite our best efforts to make the process easier, sometimes you still have to remind guests about RSVP deadlines and ensure you give the right numbers to your vendors (especially for catering, venue size and other biggies). Handling this at a timely date will hopefully avoid any last-minute changes.
14. Arrange Transportation
Getting your guests from point A to B on the wedding day is a definite must-have, especially ahead of the wedding day. Depending on your ceremony and reception, booking transportation may not always be necessary, but double-checking venue parking, restrictions and any other events occurring that day that could conflict with parking spaces is a good thing to add to your to-do list.
15. Assemble Favors, Programs, Seating Charts, Etc.
While it's not always the bride's responsibility for wedding planning, many may handle assembling the DIY elements themselves or with their wedding party. Sometimes, a fun get-together with your friends can help tackle these in a fun way. Have an assembly party complete with snacks, your favorite movies and themed drinks. And some elements, like seating charts or programs, are much easier when you use printing services or even Etsy shops.
16. Create a Day-of Timeline
Cutting back the bride duties on the wedding day means planning ahead as much as possible. Sheils says, "[Using] Rock Paper Coin to keep everything organized, and Timeline Genius to create detailed blueprints of the day, has made a huge impact." Also, knowing the wedding party roles and how they assist with day-of support is crucial. Crafting a timeline with your vendors will help keep things on track for everyone.
17. Coordinate With Vendors
Having open communication throughout the wedding planning process will help with your vendors. Once your wedding day starts getting closer, be sure to check in with everyone one more time. "Regardless of who does what, and if a planner is involved, conversations need to happen early to dictate who is doing what," Sheils adds.
18. Buy Gifts for the Bridesmaids/Bridesmen
Saying thanks to the people standing beside you on this most important day is easy-peasy. Giving them thoughtful gifts is a tradition, but you can also get creative with things. Maybe some of your bridesmaids are lacking wedding day jewelry, so how about gifting them the perfect pair of earrings to match their dress? You know your wedding party best, so just treat them to something they'll cherish.
19. Play to Your Strengths
No two couples are the same, so some of these bride duties may not be suited to your needs, and that's totally okay. Coordinating with your spouse-to-be from the jump will help ensure everything goes as it should. Maybe your S.O. is more of a budget planner or loves design, and you want to take a more hands-off approach to leave things to your wedding planner. Some things will require teamwork, like your newlywed toast or finding the right wedding bands. Playing to your strengths will make this wedding day uniquely yours.