Here's How to (Politely) Tell a Vendor You're Not Choosing Them

Need to let a vendor know you're going with someone else? Here's the right way to do it.
sophie ross the knot bridal fashion and beauty expert
Sophie Ross
sophie ross the knot bridal fashion and beauty expert
Sophie Ross
Bridal Fashion and Beauty Expert
  • Sophie Ross is a Senior Copywriter at Adore Me.
  • Sophie is an experienced style and beauty writer.
  • Sophie worked as an Associate Editor for The Knot from 2017 to 2019.
Updated Mar 11, 2019

If you've ever interviewed for a job and been told they're "going with another candidate," you know how it feels to be rejected.

That sentiment might feel a little dramatic when it comes to wedding vendors (professionals who recognize that it's not personal and know how to take it in stride), but the truth remains—you can make a situation more uncomfortable than it needs to be by telling them in the wrong way. (Or worse—by not telling them at all. More on that later.)

Odds are, you're going to interview and meet with plenty of pros during the course of your wedding planning, and you'll ultimately find your dream team—but here's how to make sure you turn down the other ones tactfully and kindly.

Simply let them know you've chosen to go in a different direction.

You don't need to go into explicit detail. Whether it's a photographer's style or a cake baker's cost quote, you have your reasons—all that matters is that you simply let them know you've found someone who's a better fit. Remember that it's not personal, it's business. Vendors may thank you and ask for any feedback that informed your decision. If you'd like to give it, be honest (and kind), as it may help them with other couples in the future.


Thank them for their time.

Some wedding pros are small businesses with one or two employees (including themselves). Their time is valuable, so let them know how much you appreciated their time and effort. Remember—they may be waiting to hear from you to know whether or not they can proceed with another couple.

Whatever you do, don't ghost them.

If the last person you ghosted was a Tinder match in 2013, why would you give a trusted wedding vendor the same treatment? Whether you prefer to communicate over the phone or via email, all that matters is you communicate with them at all. Don't make them wonder why you suddenly dropped off the face of the earth.

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