Bachelorette Party: Must I Pay for Bachelorette Party if I Can't Go?

by The Knot

I am an out-of-town bridesmaid who cannot attend the bachelorette party. Should I still be helping the maid of honor (MOH) pay for the party?


Unlike a shower where there is usually (although not always) one host responsible for footing the bill, the bachelorette party is slightly different -- everyone who attends generally wants a part in taking the bride out on the town. For this reason it is quite common (and totally acceptable) for the maid of honor (or whoever is organizing the party) to ask for contributions. In fact, you should pretty much expect this, especially if you are a bridesmaid.

Because you can't be there though, you should call the MOH and suggest another way you can help out. Of course, you don't have to contribute anything. But because you are a bridesmaid, the gesture would be appropriate. Perhaps you could offer to contribute the amount the other maids will be paying, or at least a portion of that sum. If you'd rather not send cash, maybe call ahead to one of the spots where the party will be and order a bottle of champagne or some other treat that everyone can enjoy -- on you.

Up Next
Bride and bridesmaids at bachelorette party
All of Your Awkward Bachelorette Party Questions, Answered
Bachelorette parties sometimes take on a life of their own. Before you officially cut loose, here's some etiquette 411.
by The Knot3 min read