All of Your Awkward Bachelorette Party Questions, Answered

Bachelorette parties sometimes take on a life of their own. Before you officially cut loose, here's some etiquette 411.
The Knot
Updated Aug 27, 2018

Whether you're having a destination bash or a budget bachelorette party, your last single celebration should be a night (or weekend) to remember. And unlike the movies, yours doesn't have to involve X-rated entertainment, awkward decorations or uncomfortable family members if you don't want it to. Read more questions you might have—but might be too scared to ask—below.

Does a bachelorette party have to be crazy?

Not at all, but it's totally up to you. Think of it this way: You're at a turning point in your life, and there's every reason to go out with your friends for one last blast, even if that means simply going to dinner, comedy club or spa with friends. (Just because you're planning a bachelorette party doesn't mean you have to indulge in a night of drunken strip club hopping, unless that's what you want.)

Is there anyone you have to invite even if you might not want to?

Unlike your bridal showers (for which you may feel obligated to invite certain family friends, for instance), your bachelorette party will probably feel a little more intimate and comfortable. You can invite just your bridal party or extend the invite to other close friends you want to celebrate with. If you have anyone in particular you wouldn't feel comfortable inviting, simply tell your party planner (perhaps your maid of honor) to leave them off the guest list.

Do you have to invite your mother and future mother-in-law?

The answer to this question depends on the type of relationships you have and the type of bachelorette party you're having. Some women are extremely close to their mothers and wouldn't have a wedding-related party without mom in tow, while others might feel more at ease with just friends. If you're having a dinner party or brunch or tea, it's appropriate to invite the moms, but if you're going out clubbing (or anything else that might not be mom approved), having them along might be awkward. Chances are they'll opt out anyway. You could blend the best of both worlds: Invite them to dinner and go out with friends after. Or, make it a girlfriends-only party.

Can you tell your bridal party you're uncomfortable with what they're planning?

Of course you can—there's no rule that says you should have a "traditional" bachelorette party. Maybe your single besties are planning a bar crawl where you know they'll be flirting with guys the entire time. If you'd rather do something else, let your friends know. Remember that the party is about you, so your pals should be focused on making sure you have a great time. Maybe for old times' sake, you'll decide to go along for the ride—it's up to you.

Should the bachelorette party be held on the same night as the bachelor party?

Not necessarily, but it's a nice idea for both partners to party simultaneously, especially if you're interested in meeting up with the other group at the end of the night, or if you want to be out of town the same weekend.

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