How Often Should Married Couples Go On Dates? What the Data Says

This may apply to you, a friend, or even your parents. We know you're here because you're wondering how often should married couples go on dates, and if there's a scientifically proven number related to these moments of connection that lead to success. Well, The Knot 2024 Relationship & Intimacy Study found the exact number of dates married couples typically enjoy. Our research team collected thoughts from over 2,000 married and single respondents–who shared details about how they view intimacy and taking each other out. Additionally, we consulted relationship experts to speak to the value of married dates.

"More importantly than simply dating, partners and long-lasting marriages often continue to court each other throughout the relationship," says Dr. Stan Tatkin, the founder of the PACT Institute. "In other words, in opposite-sex, cisgender pairings, partners should remain girlfriend and boyfriend, first and foremost; In same-sex relationships, boyfriend and boyfriend or girlfriend and girlfriend. The spirit of this is important because it suggests that partners accept each other, not as family, but as strangers always working to get to know each other as they move through time."

You may have heard folks refer to the phrase, "Keep the spark alive." According to Dr. Tatkin, there's value in that excitement. "They must maintain certain formalities that were there in courtship," he adds. "Otherwise, partners may just either drift apart or be tools for raising kids. But, the juice of the couple may run dry." The takeaway is that it's important to make time for each other, dating or married, and you'll find out why below.

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In this article:

• How Often Should Married Couples Go On Dates?
• How Often Do Married Couples Go On Dates?
• Date Nights Married Couples Are Loving

How Often Should Married Couples Go On Dates?

To be direct: There is no set number recommended by the experts when it comes to this question. "In terms of dating, this is in a matter of of individual taste, which means that partners would have to agree on what they want to do together," says Dr. Tatkin. "A good date is what they decide it should be, but that requires talking before doing. Many partners do not operate as collaborators and therefore may not think to do a back and forth with their partner about any decision let alone where to go out or what to do. And so, there is no such thing as healthy dating unless you're going to a vegan restaurant. There is only what works well for both partners and that's between them as it should always be."

However, Dr. Tatkin has one word of advice for all married couples. "Courtship should be happening throughout each day and night. It shouldn't have to be something that's scheduled, or that requires any special activity or expense for that matter," he adds. "It is being together, without distraction, interference, or noise. And simply basking in presence and attention to one another as they did when just being together was much more important than where they were."

So while there is no formulaic number of date nights that lead to marital success, stowing the phone away, forgetting about work, and giving your partner your undivided attention is suggested. Take it from someone who's successfully helped thousands of couples navigate the choppy and calm seas of spousal support. (And not the kind most of you thought of immediately.)

How Often Do Married Couples Go On Dates?

Among the married survey respondents, about half of all couples (51%) said they went on one to four dates with their spouse in the last three months. About 22% went on five to nine dates, while 10% enjoyed about 10 to 14 dates. About 11% replied that they went on zero dates.

A three-month timespan means couples had at least 12 separate opportunities for, at least, one date per weekend. So while 10% were able to get somewhere within that range, a whopping 84% of all couples enjoyed less than one date a week (if any).

Our data also found commonalities in types of dates, and that's fine as long as you're connecting during those moments alone. Dinner and/or drinks was overwhelmingly the most popular date type with 90% of respondents enjoying this experience; 49% said they attended a movie; 37% took a road trip; 34% attended a live event, whether that be a comedy show or DJ set. (Survey users were able to check off more than one option, by the way.)

"Studies indicate that couples who make time for weekly date nights strengthen their connection and boost relationship satisfaction," adds relationship therapist Lea Haber. "But it's not just about how often you go out—it's about the intention, variety, and effort you put into it."

Oh—and it certainly isn't about the budget, she adds. "I remember a trip to Napa with my husband, where we had a high-end dinner reservation one night. Instead, we canceled it and hit up In-N-Out Burger," says Haber. "We laughed as I flirted with the 'tasting experience' of my milkshake, and it turned out to be one of the most memorable nights of our trip. This kind of spontaneity and playfulness is essential." If you're in search of date ideas, take stock of your favorite memories and come up with creative ways to connect outside of the home.

Date Nights Married Couples Are Loving

Photo: Stocksy

You may be in need of some inspiration, or perhaps you're curious what other couples who are married date like. According to Haber, it's good to mix up the types of dates and, even, to add an element of surprise where necessary. "Mixing it up—whether it's a fancy dinner or a laid-back burger run—keeps the relationship fresh and exciting," says Haber. "It's about maintaining that first-date mindset, where you're curious about each other, eager to connect, and always looking for new ways to impress. This curiosity is crucial as your partner grows and evolves over the years."

We went ahead asked our respondents for their most memorable dates and these were some of the cutest answers we received among both single and married daters. (A quick note: Some of these responses were edited for grammatical purposes.)

• "I remember this picnic date in the park with my partner. it was [a] simple date but so special, just sitting on a blanket, talking, and laughing under the trees. [It] stuck in my mind because it felt like time slowed down. It was awesome learning so many times about that person."
• "My most memorable date involved walking around New York City and visiting strange shops looking for unique items. This was memorable because we both found items we would never have purchased under normal circumstances."
• "Most memorable date was a trip down to Newport Beach, where we enjoyed all different activities in a long day. Went to the beach, on a boat ride, and then out to dinner overlooking the harbor and ocean."
• "I met him [on] an online dating app and after chatting for few weeks we both decided to go on [a] date to an amusement park, [where] neither of us has been for years. The excitement of trying all the rides, the laughter and the playful competition to win the biggest stuffed animal at the game created an electric atmosphere. As the day [turned] to evening, we decided to go [sit] at [the] beach to watch the sunset. We shared a moment of comfortable silence, taking it all in. It was memorable because it was not just about the fun activities but the connection we felt, the ease of conversation, and the shared joy of simple pleasures."
• "My best date was when we had a surprise picnic at night. We laughed, talked, and felt close under the stars, making it a special memory for us."
• "I suppose it was a time I went to a small cafe in a coastal town right after shopping at a mutual favorite shop. The cafe was cozy and had a romantic vibe to it without being formal or expensive. It was most memorable due to being near the beach (a favorite place of mine), next to a favorite shop, with yummy food and [a] good atmosphere, and my partner at the time [was] gazing at me lovingly, admitting he'd propose to me right there if he had a ring. I've known since then that I want to be proposed to like that, and it was a very sweet romantic cozy memory."
• "My partner and I were living in a hotel at the time and didn't have a lot of money. We decided to treat ourselves a bit and got fried chicken takeout. There was a decently-sized pond near the hotel we were staying in, so we got dressed up, grabbed the food and a large quilt, and went to the pond and had a picnic. It was a beautiful day, and even though we were struggling a lot at that time we managed to have a lot of fun. It was such a happy day."
• "I passed out in Tennessee once." (Editor's Note: This sounds like quite the tale, and we are glad you're OK enough to reply to this survey.)

In conclusion: How often should a married couple have date nights? Simply knowing the measurement and response to this question only gets you so far. "Equally important is the drive to initiate these date nights, especially as life becomes routine or busy," says Haber. "Take turns planning the dates and surprising each other, keeping the energy alive. These efforts are like adding fuel to your relationship, helping it keep going strong as a team. It's not just about where you go or how often you go—it's about the variety, intention, and ongoing commitment to making each moment together special. This approach builds a rich, fulfilling relationship and turns your partner into your best friend."