The Pros and Cons of Being the First of Your Friends to Get Married

Like anything else in life, it's hard for anyone to understand an experience they haven't been through, and wedding planning is no different. Being the first in my friend group to say "I do," a few of my friends just couldn't relate, which made some things more difficult than I imagine they would have been, had they understood the complexity of planning a once-in-a-lifetime event. That said, our friends rock, so the few misunderstandings were overshadowed by the unwavering love and support they showed us then, and continue to show us now. Here are the cons and pros of being the first in my friend group to get married.

Cons

You're in completely uncharted territory.

It'll feel like you know a million people who are married, but no one will be able to help because their experience happened when shoulder pads were cool and weddings didn't cost over $30,000.

People find it hard to relate when your stress level goes through the roof.

Before I got engaged, I had it in my head that I'd never get stressed about trivial wedding planning things. I assumed my then-fiancé and I would work flawlessly together and the whole world would be impressed with our composure. Yeah—that didn't happen. I was constantly hiding that stress from friends I thought would judge me as a bridezilla for getting so worked up.

There are so many things about etiquette that people don't understand because they haven't been to any weddings as adults.

People RSVPed with their plus-ones when they weren't given one, asked inappropriate questions and were just generally confused. It's totally understandable—just occasionally awkward.

People can get offended if they don't make the invite list.

You'll likely find out about this by way of gossip down the chain of friends. I found it's better to brush it off and avoid the drama.

People don't realize how expensive it is to attend and be in a wedding.

Most will deal with it on their own, but the occasional person will complain straight to your face. I just apologized and assured them I was trying my best to keep the cost low. Now I'm just awaiting the moment when I'm at their wedding and it costs even more.

There will be those who don't get the importance of the seemingly small things.

Most people will get that the wedding is a big deal, but they won't understand how much time, effort and money goes into other details, events and milestones.

You can't turn to your friends as you make the transition from single to married.

It's a big deal, and it's not always easy after the wedding bliss wears off. They also assume you never want to hang out, because you're married now (but that's a whole different topic).

---

FOR YOU

How to Find Wedding Transportation Near You

Whether you're booking a limo, shuttle, party bus or all three, we've got the expert tips you need.

20 Questions to Ask Wedding Transportation Companies

Go over these important points before making any final decisions.

Top Wedding Transportation Tips & Planning Basics

Study up on the basics of wedding day wheels.

Pros

Everyone's psyched to attend your bachelor and bachelorette parties.

There's nothing better than going to your first bachelor or bachelorette party, so your friends will happily pack their bathing suits and koozies for a trip. They'll likely be more focused on that than the wedding, which is a pretty awesome distraction from planning.

The attendees will talk constantly about your wedding day.

Ours was the only wedding for most of our friends that year, so they just kept talking about it like it was "the event" to be at.

People will make it a point to attend your nuptials.

The wedding was a chance for recently scattered friends to reunite, so it became this massive party that was as much fun for them as it was for us. We had something like two friends decline our wedding invite, and no one lived in the city we got married in, so that's pretty remarkable. Other than the fact that they love us, I think it was because they didn't have four other weddings that year that they'd already sat through or had to prioritize over ours.

People are willing to go above and beyond to help you.

We literally moved tables and mowed the lawn to get ready for our wedding—and we had to mop the reception hall and put everything back in place after. We had something like 15 non-family members each day helping out. (Some were even hungover while they were mopping.) I'll admit, this one is partially because we have awesome friends, but also because their adrenaline was almost aligned with ours.

Everyone will be drunk because they don't realize how long of a day it will be.

Okay, this could be a con, but we were lucky and didn't have any issues. There are a lot of things to cheers to while you're getting ready. Pair that with an open bar and not really understanding the timeline and you'll have one heck of a party.

People will look to all your wedding details for inspiration.

They appreciate the details and actually look at them, because they're secretly planning their future wedding in their heads (this is my assumption, because it's what I would do).

You'll be the one people turn to when they get married.

So far, this is my favorite part of being the first to get married. I love being able to help friends, acquaintances and really anyone with their day. I cherish the moments when they turn to me for advice and I can be there for them along the way. It's the least I can do to return the energy and love they showed us.

Kayla is a lifestyle blogger at KaylasFiveThings.com, sharing her favorite fashion trends, beauty products, decor ideas, entertaining tips and wedding planning advice.