How to Plan an Epic Couple's Shower Everyone Will Love

Get everyone together for a memorable event.
chapelle johnson the knot associate editor
Chapelle Johnson
chapelle johnson the knot associate editor
Chapelle Johnson
Associate Editor
  • Chapelle writes articles for The Knot Worldwide. She covers all things wedding-related and has a personal interest in covering celebrity engagements and fashion.
  • Before joining The Knot Worldwide, Chapelle was an editorial intern for Subvrt Magazine.
  • Chapelle has a degree in English writing from Loyola University New Orleans.
Updated Mar 07, 2023

A couple's shower, also known as a wedding shower or Jack and Jill party, is similar to a bridal shower and has gradually gained popularity among to-be-weds. It's a beautiful event where the love birds are celebrated by their close friends and family before the big day. But if you volunteered to host a couple's shower, you may have some questions. Read below to get answers to all your questions about this coed prewedding event. Plus, get a step-by-step guide to planning a couple's shower no one will forget.

Couple's Shower Frequently Asked Questions

Planning a couple's shower can be hard if you don't know where to start. We've answered all your couple's shower questions below.

What is a couple's shower?

A couple's shower is a prewedding party that includes both to-be-weds and their loved ones. The guests give gifts that help the couple start their new life together. This event is typically hosted by the wedding party members, friends and/or family.

Who is invited to a couple's wedding shower?

The main couple's shower etiquette rule you need to keep in mind is that anyone you invite to the shower must be invited to the wedding. This doesn't mean you must invite all the wedding guests to the couple's shower. The guest count is usually about 30 guests or more, made up of close family friends, relatives and the couple's friends.

What's the difference between a bridal shower and a couple's shower?

There aren't many differences between a bridal shower and a couple's shower. A couple's shower is a party thrown for the to-be-weds, while a bridal shower is only for the bride. A bridal shower typically involves the female friends and family members of the bride, who bring gifts specifically for her or her future home with her partner. The idea of a couple's shower has become more popular because many couples don't want to adhere to wedding traditions that don't fit their relationships, and some believe the person who identifies as a bride shouldn't be the only one celebrated.

When should I have a couple's shower?

A couple's shower usually happens two weeks to three months before the wedding. The event takes place on the weekend, either as a day or evening celebration, for at least two hours and up to four. Many hosts plan an evening couple's shower around a seated dinner or cocktail hour.

How to Plan a Couple's Shower

Now that all your questions have been answered, you're ready to plan a memorable couple's bash. Here's everything you need to do during the planning process.

Figure out what kind of party you want to throw.

There are no strict rules on the type of couple's shower you host. You can do a boozy brunch, wine tasting, backyard barbecue or a formal seated dinner. We suggest asking the to-be-weds what kind of event they would like so you know you're going down the right path. You can also have a party theme. Check out these fun wedding shower themes below.

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Make a guest list.

The couple's parents, siblings, grandparents and wedding party should definitely be on the guest list. Close friends, whether it be of the family or the couple, get an invite to the party. It's not customary, but you can allow those guests to have plus-ones as well. The best way to ensure everyone the couple wants at their shower is present is to ask them to make a guest list with each guest's contact information so no one is accidentally left out.

Find a venue.

If you have the space and don't mind a little more responsibility, you can host the couple's wedding shower at your home. But if you and the other contributors would like a neutral venue, that's okay too. Wedding showers are often held in a private room at a restaurant, bar or brewery. Having the shower outside of a home allows you to have more fun with your venue choice since it can match the party's theme. Another bonus is that a room rental can include set up and clean up, so there's less work for everyone.

Send out couple's shower invitations.

Wedding shower invitation wording doesn't have to be complicated, just make sure you include three important details. If the couple would like people to buy items off their wedding registry for their shower gifts, include their wedding website on the invitation so guests can access the registry and get answers to questions about other wedding events and details. Adding the event's dress code is vital because it helps guests know the formality of the party and allows them to be creative with their attire if it's a themed shower. Finally, ensure you write on the invitation that it's a coed party for the to-be-weds, so guests don't accidentally bring inappropriate gifts or games. For example, you don't want a guest giving lingerie to the bride in front of the partner's family––talk about awkward.

Craft a food and drink menu.

A couple's shower should have food and drinks the to-be-weds love, but also things that everyone will be happy to eat. For drinks, have non-alcoholic beverages, classic cocktails and a small selection of wine and beer. For the food menu, consider a mouthwatering grazing table as the appetizer, a family-style Italian meal for dinner and chocolate chip cookie shooters for dessert. The options are endless, so have fun making the food and drink menu while staying true to the couple.

Find fun party games and entertainment.

A couple's shower is a great way for everyone to get to know one another. Playful shower games are commonly used because they act as an icebreaker for people to talk and connect. Mad Libs, bingo and Pictionary are just some ways you can make guests excited to engage and ready to mingle. But if you have a bigger budget and want more lively entertainment, consider hiring a DJ, live band or performer, like a drag queen.

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