Here's Exactly What to Do If You're Running Late for a Wedding

Of all the events in your lifetime that you want to go smoothly and without a hitch, it's your wedding. Not only are you spending thousands of dollars on a one-day occasion, but there's months, if not years, worth of planning that goes into ensuring your wedding day is spectacular and memorable.

When it comes to a successful wedding, a huge responsibility actually falls on the guests. As part of wedding guest etiquette, it is vital that all guests arrive at your wedding on time. "If guests are late upon arrival, every portion of the timeline will need to either be delayed, or a portion of it will need to be rushed to catch up to the schedule," explains Sarah Chianese, owner, planner and executive chef at Mangia and Enjoy! "For those wedding professionals you hired to travel to your venue and late-coming guests cause delays, you may find yourselves with an overwhelming overtime bill, which is never a happy surprise on the morning of your honeymoon."

In this article:

• Do Weddings Usually Start on Time?
• How Early Should You Arrive at a Wedding?
• How Late Is Too Late to Arrive at a Wedding?
• What to Do If You're Running Late to a Wedding
• What to Do If Guests Are Late to Your Wedding

Do Weddings Usually Start on Time?

Yes, weddings do usually start on time—or relatively close to the established starting time as indicated on the wedding invitation. It's the job of the hired wedding professionals to help ensure that the timeline is adhered to no matter what; however, if important wedding guests are running late, they may decide to postpone the start time slightly to accommodate.

Sometimes, wedding professionals will purposely indicate a start time that's about 5-15 minutes earlier than the ceremony will actually occur to provide a buffer for any late comers. "Wedding planners understand that last-minute emergencies are frequent within the couple's suites, along with guests arriving later than planned, so a slight delay is often allotted within the wedding timeline," says Sarah Anderson, Consultant with Twickenham House and Hall.

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How Early Should You Arrive at a Wedding?

Despite many wedding planners incorporating this buffer of time, it's still pertinent that guests do all they can to arrive on time to a wedding. In fact, owner and event planner of The Renaissance, Thomas Waters, even recommends that guests arrive a minimum of 15-20 minutes prior to the start of the wedding. "Especially if you are unfamiliar with the area, it's best to give yourself even more wiggle room in case you get turned around or perhaps encounter issues with finding where you need to be on site," he says. "You'll want to build in time to find parking, navigate the ceremony location, and get settled." Make sure to check the couple's wedding website to ensure you have the proper directions and timing for the ceremony.

How Late Is Too Late to Arrive at a Wedding?

Believe it or not, but even five minutes can put a wrench in the wedding timeline, as checking in and getting to the designated area where guests are expected to be for the opening, notes Chianese. "Most welcome stations will be set for half an hour, allowing guests to find their places, yet that doesn't mean everyone should arrive at the 29th minute, or delays will be guaranteed," she says. "Much like coming to a Broadway show, the doors will open with enough time to get everyone seated, yet those same doors will close (and remain closed) once the curtain lifts." It's worth pointing out that being late to a wedding is definitely less socially acceptable than being late to a Broadway show!

What to Do If You're Running Late to a Wedding

Things happen, so if you do wind up running late to a wedding, it's important that you handle it the right way. Here, experts share what they recommend guests do if they don't think they'll make it to a wedding on time.

Don't panic about missing out.

While you, of course, wanted and intended to be present at the wedding, take a moment to acknowledge and accept that things happen. You will, unfortunately, miss parts of the wedding. Don't let the guilt overcome you. "No need to write an extensive apology letter; the couple will be very happy you made it no matter what," adds Jen Sulak, lead wedding photographer at Weirdo Weddings.

Notify someone in charge (not the couple).

If you are running late to a wedding, Chianese recommends immediately notify someone other than the couple of your expected ETA and asking whether or not you should stay back—or outside the ceremony area—until a certain point. "The person you contacted can alert an usher of your name, and the usher can reserve a seat in the back for you to sit without disturbing the ceremony," she says. "This person can also alert anyone at the receiving desk or valet service to keep an eye out for you to lead you to the right place when you get there to expedite your arrival into the activities as soon as possible."

Take your time and be quiet walking in.

The last thing you want to do when walking into a wedding late is bring unnecessary attention to you and away from the couple saying their "I dos." Anderson recommends finding a wedding attendant and asking their opinion about entering the ceremony discreetly or staying away until the reception. "This method is most considerate to the couple, their guests having an undistracted experience, and the photographer and videographer not having to work around a ceremony," she adds.

Shake off the embarrassment and have some fun.

You might feel awkward and even embarrassed after arriving late to someone's wedding—that's to be expected. Don't let the occurrence take away from the fun you still deserve to have. "Whether one misses 10 minutes or a full hour of an event, celebrating the couple by being present and fully participating in their planned function helps ease the struggles preceding the day and party with the couple and other guests," says Anderson. "Ultimately, the wedding day is about the couple tying the knot, so being present for the rest of the event despite being late is courteous to the couple and their long-labored wedding planning."

What to Do If Guests Are Late to Your Wedding

When it's your own wedding that guests are running late to, you might feel especially frustrated and anxious. Here's how experts recommend handling the situation.

Establish a plan with ushers ahead of time.

Rather than creating a last-minute game plan for late guests just before the ceremony's start time, Anderson recommends having a pre-established plan with the wedding ushers, vendors or planners before the wedding date is beneficial. "Although couples tediously plan every minute of their wedding day, problems are inevitable," she says. "Therefore, having people surrounding the venue to prevent ceremony disturbances is essential."

Consider delaying the start time.

Depending on the situation, such as inclement weather or if the shuttle services are stuck in traffic, you may want to communicate with your planner to decide if it's possible to delay the start time. "Your planner can then check in with the other wedding professionals on-site to alert them and prevent mishaps," says Chianese. "Your planner may also find a portion where an activity can be trimmed to catch up on time for when food service begins, as that is often a more challenging area to compromise timing."

Don't let the little things get to you.

While it's understandably upsetting when a wedding guest is running late—especially if they play an important role in your life, not to mention the ceremony. But remember that not everything is in your control. Take a minute to breathe and vent any frustrations. "As a couple about to walk the aisle and make everything official, emotions are sky-high and so are your expectations of yourself and others," says Sulak. "Take a moment to breathe, talk, hug it out with someone who understands the frustrations, and let it all go."