Your Questions About Bridal Shower Gifts vs. Wedding Gifts, Answered

Selecting the perfect gift for a couple tying the knot can be challenging. All soonlyweds have different needs and preferences, while all guests have different budgets. This dilemma is only compounded when you're invited to multiple wedding-related events. Do you really need to bring a gift to the bridal shower and the wedding? If you're confused about the rules of gift-giving, never fear! We're here to help. Below, we break down everything you need to know about bridal shower gift etiquette and wedding gift etiquette, as well as whether or not you need to buy one of each for the happy couple.

Can you please explain the difference between wedding and bridal shower gifts?

The main difference between a bridal shower gift and a wedding gift is the cost of each. A bridal or couples shower gift can be less expensive than a wedding gift, since the event is just a precursor to the larger, more formal celebration. Additionally, some showers focus on just the bride's individual needs and supporting her in a more personal way, which can also contribute to the lower price point.

Regardless of how much you spend on a bridal shower gift vs. a wedding gift, you'll want to source both from the couple's registry. This wish list is curated by the soonlyweds to include items they want in a range of prices, so you can feel confident they'll love whatever you choose. If you shop off-registry, you run the risk of getting a duplicate item or something they don't need or have space for. If they don't have a registry, you can use our roundups of bridal shower gift ideas and wedding gift ideas for presents that'll wow any couple. Just check with the couple's family or wedding party members (like the maid of honor or best man) to get an idea of what they may need to start married life.

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Do I really need to buy a present for the bridal shower and the wedding?

Yes, traditional wedding gift etiquette indicates that if you've been invited to the bridal shower and to the wedding, you should bring a gift to both. Don't let this intimidate you though. As mentioned, the gifts are expected to fall into different price ranges and you'll be able to find something great for both events on the couple's registry.

For a clear budgeting approach, we recommend the 20-20-60 rule for allocating your total wedding gift budget. This guideline suggests that 60% of your budget should be used for the wedding gift, while 20% each should be dedicated to a wedding shower gift and another prewedding event gift (such as a present for an engagement party or bach party). For example, if your total budget is $200, you would spend $120 on the wedding present, $40 on the wedding shower and $40 on a second prewedding event gift. If you're invited to only one prewedding event, you can follow a simplified 30-70 rule. It's okay if your budget equates to smaller gifts for both events, like a wooden cutting board for the wedding and a potted plant (with a card) for the shower. These are still useful items to the couple and will ensure you aren't showing up to either of the traditional gift-giving events empty-handed.

It's important to remember, though, that while traditional etiquette suggests bringing gifts to both a bridal shower and a wedding, the most meaningful gesture is the presence of the guest themself. If financial constraints make it difficult to buy a gift for one or both events, the couple will surely understand. Your attendance and warm wishes are what truly matter, and they'll be genuinely happy to share these special moments with you—gift or not.