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Updated Oct 14, 2024Advice From Real Couples Who Got Pregnant Before Their Wedding
With tips and considerations from real couples who got pregnant before their wedding, read our advice to plan accordingly throughout the process.
Photo: Summer loveee
Proper, thorough wedding planning involves preparing for pretty much any and every situation that could arise before, during and after you say "I do." But, as life has shown all of us, things don't always go as planned. Some couples might find themselves pregnant before their wedding which, in turn, can lead to some last-minute change of plans.
Of course, being faced with a positive pregnancy test can mean so many different things to different couples. Whether you've been actively trying and are thrilled to have finally got your positive result, are completely caught off guard and are still processing it all or anywhere in between, it's only normal to feel a bit overwhelmed.
First things first, consider finding a planner on The Knot Vendor Marketplace who can help you navigate and plan for these changes. Then, check out these tips to navigate getting married pregnant, including real advice from couples who have been in similar shoes.
First Things First
First, breathe. Whether being pregnant for your wedding is happy news, unexpected news or you're not really sure how you feel—just breathe. Then, take some time to let it all settle in. Don't rush to make any decisions or changes related to the wedding, and don't panic-call everyone you've ever met to tell them, either. Figure out who you want to know (if anyone) and share your news.
Jessie S., a recent New York City bride and new mom, says that because the news of getting pregnant before her wedding was so unexpected, "We were kind of in shock for a while and the first few weeks of knowing, we didn't tell a soul. After our first doctor appointment, we told our parents and then our main point of contact at our wedding venue who helped lead the way from there."
FEATURED VIDEO FROM THE KNOT
If you have a wedding planner, the earlier you tell them the better. These pros know how to plan a wedding, even with this curveball.
Figure Out Your Timeline
Whether you're pregnant 10 months or one month before your wedding, you can figure out how far along you'll be for all the different wedding milestones to come. From your engagement party to bridal shower, bachelorette party and actual wedding day, you'll want to have an idea of just how pregnant you'll be or how old the baby will be depending on your specific timeline and pregnancy.
Reassess Your Dress Situation
Katie H., a New Jersey bride, found out she was pregnant four months before her wedding. She immediately thought of the dress saying, "I told my mom about my pregnancy right away since my dress was form-fitting and I figured I would need a new one. We took a chance and kept the dress. Luckily the seamstress was able to let it out to accommodate my growing bump but if the wedding was even a week later I would have needed a different dress."
Whether you need to alter it or go for a completely different model, get in touch with your salesperson, dressmaker and/or tailor to get them involved as soon as possible. The sooner, the better, and the more options you might have. Also keep in mind that depending on where you are in the wedding planning timeline, you may need to tweak or adjust your wedding budget to make things work.
Make Alternate Travel Arrangements
Katie shares she had to make a few tweaks to her original plans saying, "I really wanted to have our honeymoon in Italy but decided I wanted to save that trip for when I was up for a lot of walking and sipping wine so I booked a trip to an all-inclusive in Mexico instead. A month later, there was a Zika virus outbreak which was a huge risk to pregnant women so I had to cancel that trip. I got approval from my OBGYN to go on a cruise to Bermuda instead since Zika was not present there."
Maybe you want to postpone your honeymoon until after you've had the baby, or even later down the line when the baby is a bit older. Or, perhaps you want to go somewhere, but somewhere that's a bit more pregnancy-friendly.
Your original bachelorette party plans may have to change—or they may not! It totally depends on what you think you can handle and what you want. Bride Jamie K. from New York City says, "Instead of a crazy Vegas bachelorette party, my girlfriends and I enjoyed a getaway weekend locally." But at first, she admits, "We were obviously shocked and if I'm being completely honest, I was selfishly disappointed, for a day, that I wouldn't be able to drink at my bachelorette party and wedding."
As for destination weddings, that can be a bit more complicated. Once you know your dates, talk to your OBGYN about travel restrictions and when or if they may clash with your plans.
Keep Checking in With Yourself
It might feel like your wedding day is the most important because, in any other circumstance, it would be. But pregnancy is life-changing for both you and your partner and with the news and changes that are about to come, you must prioritize yourselves and your relationship. While making sure your wedding planning checklist is up-to-date, be sure to check in with yourselves, too.
Being mindful of your stress levels and ensuring you are communicating clearly and often with your partner will have a huge impact on how the future plays out. Make sure you're taking care of yourself physically, too. During pregnancy, proper nutrition and rest are super important so they should be a priority and not something you let slide amidst the chaos of it all.
Most importantly, rest assured that you aren't the first engaged couple to go through getting married while pregnant—and won't be the last. Lean on those closest to you for support and advice—or even consider connecting with other couples on wedding planning message boards for a broadened network of backing.
