How to Throw a Surprise Party for Your Partner, According to Planning Pros

Shhh... Keep it on the down-low.
Surprise Party
Photo: Getty Images | ferrantraite
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Wendy Rose Gould
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Wendy Rose Gould
The Knot Contributor
  • Wendy Rose Gould is a freelance reporter based in Phoenix, Arizona.
  • Along with The Knot, she contributes to Martha Stewart Living, Real Simple, Insider, Verywell Mind and others.
  • Wendy has a degree in editorial journalism and a second degree in philosophy.
Updated Jul 31, 2023

Sure, all parties are fun—but a surprise party builds an epic level of suspense for all the invitees who are in on the secret. Plus, the recipient's genuine, emotion-filled response is worth every second of planning. This is true whether you're planning a surprise engagement party, birthday party or other celebration for your special someone.

"If you've ever been the receiver of a surprise party, then you know the care and details it takes to pull off a party without knowing it's happening," says event planner Nora Sheils, founder of Bridal Bliss. "As long as you are planning the party for the right reasons and feel prepared by really knowing the person to pull it off, you can't go wrong."

Ultimately, the goal is to have fun with the process and plan your party straight from the heart. From questions to ask yourself beforehand to pre-party details to possible theme ideas, we're covering everything you need to know about how to plan a surprise party.

In this article:

Questions to Ask Before Planning a Surprise Party for Your Partner

One of the biggest keys to planning a successful surprise party for your partner is to make sure you've really thought about their personality and preferences. After all, this is a celebration for them! Ask yourself these questions before diving into the process:

  • Does your partner like surprises in general?
  • Will they enjoy being the center of attention?
  • Who would my partner want at this party?
  • What sort of theme would they enjoy?
  • Are there any tricky scheduling constraints to keep in mind?
  • How will you ensure this is kept a secret?
  • What's the overall budget?

How to Plan a Surprise Party

If you've decided that planning a surprise party for your partner is the way to celebrate, it's officially time to start planning. Follow these expert-approved steps to ensure party planning success:

1. Determine Your Budget

Know how much you want to spend on the surprise party before you start planning. Similar to wedding planning, this will determine how much you devote to vendors or venues, how big your guest list is and how much you can spend on details like food, beverage and decor.

2. Choose the Location of Your Surprise Party

Start by determining the venue for your surprise party. Throwing a party at your own home might make certain logistics easier, but also consider other locations. These might include a friend or family member's home, a local restaurant or a private venue. If you need to book a location, aim to do so at least three to six months in advance if possible.

3. Create a Guest List

Determine how big you want your guest list to be, then whittle down your invite list to include the people most important to your partner. To make the event extra special, Sheils says to invite surprise guests—as in people who your partner may not expect at a regular party. For example, this might be an important friend or family member from out of town, or someone your partner adores but hasn't seen in forever. (BTW, for convenience, you can keep track of your invitees with The Knot's handy Guest List Tracker!)

4. Select a Theme

Nail the surprise party theme by making sure to keep your partner's preferences top of mind. "If you are stumped on what they would love, turn to family and friends to gain insight into what would really surprise them," Sheils advises. "Pulling off a surprise party, no matter the size, takes lots of pre-planning and details—so don't be afraid of having a co-pilot help you."

5. Send Out Invitations

Now that you've got your guest list, location and theme figured out, it's safe to send out surprise party invitations. Since this is a surprise, you don't want to send them out too early since that'll provide more opportunity for the secret to get out. Aim for three to four weeks before the event.

6. Create a Menu

Food and drinks are an integral aspect of any party. Minimize your workload by ordering catered food, and consider hiring a bartender or two in charge of the drink station. This is a great plan for highly themed parties, where food can lean into the theme and help elevate the event. For a more low-key vibe, opt for a potluck.

7. Decorate for Your Party

Purchase any decor items in advance and have them ready to go on the party day. If you're decorating your own home, you'll need to get your partner out of the house. Regardless of location, consider having a couple of friends or family members decorate the venue, or hire a professional to take care of these details.

8. Celebrate Your Partner

Now that the big day has arrived, it's officially time to celebrate your partner. You'll need to come up with a game plan to keep them out of the loop and ensure they show up to their own party right on time. Enlist help from friends to pull off this tricky feat.

Tips for Keeping the Party a Surprise

Keeping your partner's surprise party a secret might arguably be the trickiest aspect of this entire event. Kaitlin Ford, event planner and owner of Pocketful Of Plans, says to tell as few people as possible and to only let people know within a few weeks of the event itself. The less time people have to talk, the less apt they are to let the secret slip.

"In order for a surprise party to be effective, you really need a lot of help, a lot of solid plans and forethought and a great team to make it all possible," Ford says. "If anyone slips or gives away any of the tiniest moments, then the whole plan tumbles quickly."

That might look like recruiting a small team to help with the party planning process, or hiring professionals to cover certain details like food, drink and decorating.

20 Surprise Party Theme Ideas

You can throw a surprise party for virtually any reason, be it your partner's birthday, an anniversary or a work promotion. Here are some theme ideas to consider:

  • Simple birthday surprise with confetti cake and balloons
  • "Through the years" anniversary surprise party
  • Retro throwback to another decade (maybe to the year they were born)
  • Romantic candlelit dinner
  • Classic BBQ
  • Summer picnic
  • Garden party
  • Parisian romance
  • Bridgerton tea party
  • Great Gatsby glamour
  • Casino night
  • Destination-inspired
  • Beach vibes
  • White winter
  • Theme centered around their favorite movie or musical artist
  • Color theme (such as black and white, pink or neutrals)
  • Prom night
  • Champagne and diamonds
  • Speakeasy
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