TikTok's Triangle Method of Flirting Promises to Up Your Dating Game

It's simple enough to try.
Couple kissing
Photo: The Good Brigade / Getty
Hayley Folk
by
Hayley Folk
Hayley Folk
Hayley Folk
The Knot Contributor
  • Hayley writes articles on a freelance basis for The Knot Worldwide, with a specialty in sex and relationships.
  • Her work has appeared in The Knot, Cosmopolitan, Refinery29 and more.
  • Prior to The Knot Worldwide, Hayley was a full-time editor at a business publication.
Updated Nov 29, 2023

Doesn't it always seem like a new bit of dating slang or relationship advice is popping up on your #ForYouPage, or being coined by a TikTok user? Amongst the latest to make its dating landscape debut is the triangle method. For the unfamiliar, the triangle method of flirting aims to level up your dating game—and we have all the deets.

No matter if it's been awhile since you've been dating someone new or it's your first time ever exploring flirting, the triangle method can supposedly help. Deon Black, a certified intimacy expert and the founder of popular blog Let's Talk Sex, even recommends the flirtatious method.

But what is the triangle method? Is there a way to learn how to do the triangle method? Read all about it and how it can improve your flirt game below.

In this article:

    What Is the Triangle Method?

    This flirty, fun and methodical way of flirting is backed by clinical psychologists. But what is the triangle method, really?

    "The triangle method, or triangular gazing, is a non-verbal flirting technique that involves moving your gaze from one eye of the person you're attracted to, to the other eye, then down to their mouth and back up again," Deon Black tells The Knot. "It's like playing connect-the-dots with someone's face."

    The flirty method is thought to increase your chances of having feelings reciprocated, as prolonged eye contact can deepen intimacy and let someone know you're really into them, too.

    Where Did the Triangle Method Come From?

    Like many trends, the triangle method rose up in popularity from social media. To date, the triangle method, popularized on TikTok, has gathered over 47.3 million views in fact. Amongst these videos and clips are users—dating coaches and relationship experts alike—claiming the triangle method of flirting to be a true game changer in the dating world.

    "If you want someone to be obsessed with you or kiss you in the moment," TikTok user Valeria Romero says, "the triangle method is the way to go."

    Even the icon Marilyn Monroe allegedly tried out the triangle method, long before it ever had a name or TikTok existed. (If it worked for her, perhaps it's worth trying too?)

    Is the Triangle Method of Flirting Effective?

    "The triangle method of flirting can indeed be effective," Black explains. "It's a non-verbal communication strategy that signals interest and boosts confidence. You feel sexy and the person you're flirting with feels your attention."

    Remember: The triangle method dating hack shouldn't be seen as a 'seducation hack,' though. According to Black, human behavior is more complex than any shortcut can capture. So while the flirting technique might help create initial intimacy, fostering true love requires more than just a simple gaze method. It also requires ongoing effort, genuine connection, attraction and communication.

    How to Do the Triangle Method of Flirting

    Wondering how to execute the triangle method of flirting? The technique is simple enough and can be boiled down to three concise steps.

    1. Start by looking quickly at one of the person's eyes
    2. Then look at their mouth
    3. Follow it up by looking back up at the opposite eye.

    But remember, it's important to keep it natural and intentional. Otherwise, it could make it awkward and less effective.

    For best results, keep these tips in mind:

    Don't make it a staring contest

    "Keep it natural and not too rapid-fire," Black recommends, "No one wants to feel they're being visually probed."

    Aim for an intimate connection

    The purpose of the triangle method is to create an intimate connection. To do this in the most natural way, try taking it slow and only doing it once or twice on your date. The method mimics the pattern our eyes naturally follow when we want to kiss someone, so maybe try it out toward the end of the date.

    Don't focus on the outcome

    "Try not to focus too much on the end result. Confidence is key in flirting," reminds Black. "And remember: While you're busy forming triangles with your gaze, keep things light-hearted—love isn't about geometry but personality compatibility."

    Try not to solely rely on the triangle method

    Most importantly, if you want to keep things natural and intentional, try not to solely rely the triangle method of flirting. If you're looking to foster a genuine and real connection, don't use impersonal flirting as a crutch.

    Open communication, genuine interest, natural flirtation and showing up for someone (even if it's just sending them a sweet text or complimenting them on a date) can also go a long way.

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