33 "Wedding Crashers" Quotes That'll Make You Want to Rewatch

All the "Wedding Crashers" quotes and rules you need to "play like a champion" this wedding season.
Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn Wedding Crashers quotes
New Line/Courtesy Everett Collection
carrie anton the knot contributor
by
Carrie Anton
carrie anton the knot contributor
Carrie Anton
The Knot Contributor
  • Carrie Anton is a freelance user experience writer and content strategist.
  • Carrie co-founded Wonder: An Idea Studio, a creative consultancy in Madison, Wisconsin.
  • Carrie previously worked as a Book Editor and Web Writer for American Girl.
Updated Jun 06, 2022

No invite? No problem! "Wedding Crashers" proved you don't need to have an invitation to enjoy a plate of prime rib, a swing around the dance floor and your very own piece of wedding cake. As some of our favorite "Wedding Crashers" quotes show, all you have to do is put on some snappy duds, add a dash of bravado, and of course, remember the essential rules. The result? A good time that'll last happily ever after—or at least until the next morning. So, if you need inspiration for your next Instagram post this wedding season, check out the best "Wedding Crashers" quotes that'll leave you rolling with laughter and ready to watch the movie all over again.

List of 115 Wedding Crashers rules

In this article:

    Best "Wedding Crashers" Quotes

    When this romcom-meets-bromance first hit the big screen, "Wedding Crashers" gave both invited guests and surprise crashers everything they needed to make the most of the getting-hitched season. Here are some of the best quotes from "Wedding Crashers" that are more entertaining to repeat and share than wedding vows will ever be.

    Gloria Cleary I'll find you Wedding Crashers quotes gif

    1. "You know how they say we only use 10% of our brains? I think we only use 10 % of our hearts." – John Beckwith

    2. "You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!" – Mrs. Kroeger

    3. "Yeah! Crab cakes and football. That's what Maryland does!" – Flip

    4. "You're like that crazy guest who thinks he's part of the family already." – Claire Cleary

    5. "Death, you are my bitch lover!" – Todd Cleary

    6. "Don't ever leave me." "Good. 'Cause I'd find you!" – Gloria Cleary

    7. "True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another." – John Beckwith

    8. "Love doesn't exist, that's what I'm trying to tell you guys. And I'm not picking on love, 'cause I don't think friendship exists either." – John Beckwith

    9. "I made you a painting. I call it 'Celebration.' It's sexual and violent. I thought you might like it." – Todd Cleary

    10. "Whatever. Make me a bicycle, clown." – Young boy at the wedding reception

    11. "I'm sorry I called you a hillbilly. I don't even know what that meant." – John Beckwith

    12. "Let's play tummy sticks." – Todd Cleary

    Memorable Vince Vaughn "Wedding Crashers" Quotes

    Whether you call him Jeremy Grey or his beloved nickname Baba Ganoush in "Wedding Crashers," Vince Vaughn steals the show as the character with the most popular quotes. He often doesn't have to say a thing to garner the laughs—his dance moves, cake eating, champagne popping and balloon animals are hilarious enough—but we still can't overlook the Vince Vaughn "Wedding Crashers" quotes that keep us laughing 'til our sides ache. Get ready to relive all the fun, because after all, "It's wedding season, kid!"

    Vince Vaughn Wedding Crashers quotes gif

    13. "Grab that net and catch that beautiful butterfly, pal."

    14. "I'm just warming up. Last week I did an exact [balloon] replica, to scale, of Wrigley Field. Honest to God. I don't have anywhere to put it."

    15. "I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I've had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?"

    16. "Who gives a shit? It's a great band, it's a bad band, it's like pizza, baby."

    17. "I got to get outta here, pronto. I got a stage five clinger. Stage five, virgin, clinger."

    18. "Oh, that's terrific! Why don't you just feed me to the lions? Step on my head when I am drowning."

    19. "This is the real world, lady! You can't just go shooting people on a whim!"

    20. "You motorboatin' son of a bitch! You old sailor you! Where is she? She still in the house?"

    21. "I'm a little too traumatized to have a scone."

    22. "A friend in need is a pest."

    23. "I hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out! You selfish son of a bitch! You leave me in the trenches taking grenades, John!"

    24. "I'm not perfect, but who are we kidding, neither are you."

    25. "Get on in here, let the big bear get his paws on ya."

    26. "Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating."

    Best Will Ferrell "Wedding Crashers" Quotes

    Will Ferrell's small role as Chazz Reinhold garners big laughs! Chazz is the lovable idiot whose character switches from hooking up at nuptials to scoring big at funerals.

    Will Ferrell Wedding Crashers quotes gif

    27. "Grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac."

    28. "I almost nunchucked you; you don't even realize!"

    29. "Yeah. Dude died in a hang-gliding accident. What an idiot! 'Ahh! I'm hang-gliding! Honey, take a good picture...I'm dead!' What a freak."

    30. "Hey, Ma! Can we get some meatloaf?"

    31. "I'm just living the dream."

    32. "It's like fishing with dynamite."

    33. "So damn beautiful! With every death there comes rebirth, it's the circle of life. We're gonna be all right."

    "Wedding Crashers" Rules

    Is your guest calendar looking bleak for the upcoming wedding season? Don't fret! While the movie wasn't able to cover all of them, we've rounded up the first 25 "Wedding Crashers" rules you need to seal the deal and play like a champion this wedding season.

    • Rule #1: Never leave a fellow Crasher behind. Crashers take care of their own.

    • Rule #2: Never use your real name.

    • Rule #3: Never confess.

    • Rule #4: No one goes home alone.

    • Rule #5: Never let a girl come between you and a fellow Crasher.

    • Rule #6: Draw attention to yourself, but on your own terms.

    • Rule #7: Blend in by standing out.

    • Rule #8: Be the life of the party.

    • Rule #9: Whatever it takes to get in, get in.

    • Rule #10: Invitations are for pussies.

    • Rule #11: Sensitive is good.

    • Rule #12: When it stops being fun, break something.

    • Rule #13: Console the bridesmaids.

    • Rule #14: You're a distant relative of a dead cousin.

    • Rule #15: Fight the urge to tell the truth.

    • Rule #16: Always have an up-to-date family tree.

    • Rule #17: Every female wedding guest deserves a wedding night.

    • Rule #18: You love animals and children.

    • Rule #19: Toast in the native language if you know the native language and have practiced the toast. Do not wing it.

    • Rule #20: The older the better, the younger the better (see Rule below).

    • Rule #21: Definitely make sure she's 18.

    • Rule #22: You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. No overtime.

    • Rule #23: There's nothing wrong with having seconds. Provided there are enough women to go around.

    • Rule #24: If you get outed, leave calmly. Do not run.

    • Rule #25: You understand she heard that but that's not what you meant.

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