How to Ask for Money Instead of Gifts for Your Wedding

Whether you've already acquired enough household essentials with your partner or simply don't find fine bone china a priority, there's nothing wrong with asking your wedding guests to forgo traditional gifts for cash. How to ask for money for wedding gifts, however, is a question that can leave many couples stumped. The good news? There are plenty of ways to do it gracefully and tactfully, no matter what you wish to use the funds for—a down payment on your dream house, a contribution to a relaxing vacay or even a gift card to your favorite date night spot. Ahead, with the help of a few experts, we're bringing you a few foolproof methods for how to ask for money for wedding gifts. Plus, we've thrown in some specific wording examples you can copy and paste to your wedding registry once you've got your cash fund started.

In this article:

• Can You Ask for Money as a Wedding Gift?
• How to Ask for Money for a Wedding Instead of Gifts
• Asking for Money Instead of Wedding Presents Wording Examples
• Is It Rude to Ask for Cash on Your Wedding Invitation?

Can You Ask for Money as a Wedding Gift?

Asking for money as a wedding gift is completely acceptable. Whether it's the only thing on your registry or simply a part of it, requesting cash gifts isn't considered taboo. In fact, monetary gifts have a long history across weddings in different cultures. "With each passing generation, money, in general, is becoming less taboo and more of the norm than the exception," says Carmen Perez, personal finance expert and contributor for Varo Bank. Above all, your guests want to give you something that you'll get lots of use out of. If you already feel well-equipped with traditional wedding gifts like kitchen appliances and home goods, it's A-okay to think outside of the box when making your registry. "Cash gifts are a great vehicle for saving up for big wants, like a home purchase, vacation, starting a family or funding your favorite charity," says personal finance expert Farnoosh Torabi. "There's no better way to start your marriage than with a clean financial slate."

Photo: Calenrose

How to Ask for Money for a Wedding Instead of Gifts

Let's get into the nitty-gritty. When it comes to how to ask for money for wedding gifts, there are five foolproof methods we love. These ideas present the request tactfully, politely and gracefully, and they'll ensure guests know that cash is at the top of your wish list.

1. Start a cash fund on The Knot Registry Store

Starting a cash fund is one of the easiest ways to ask for money for wedding gifts. "Cash registries provide couples with purchasing power and money they can pool and apply towards the bigger goals and experiences they truly want, like buying a home or funding their honeymoon," says Torabi. So what does that mean? While couples can have multiple cash fund registry ideas—all with a specific name so guests know what they're contributing to—it'll all still go to the same bank account. Thus, couples have more freedom to spend the money as they see fit.

FEATURED VIDEO FROM THE KNOT

To make a cash fund, start by creating your wedding registry with The Knot. (Check out our guide to using The Knot cash fund for more details.) As an all-in-one registry, you're not limited to just cash funds or just traditional wedding gifts—you can have both on one convenient list for your guests to shop and for you and your partner to manage. This is extra important since, even if money is a top priority, we recommend registering for some physical gifts too. This way, guests have plenty of gifting options, especially those who may want to buy you a traditional present. "Having multiple gift ideas puts less pressure on guests," explains Perez. "Providing them with additional options is a great way to be as considerate and accommodating as possible." But don't worry—even with some serveware and linens on your wish list, many guests will still feel inclined to give cash wedding gifts.

2. Add gift cards to your wedding registry

Looking for cute ways to ask for money as a wedding gift? Consider a gift card registry. This discreet way of asking for money will help you and your S.O. stock up on funds for your favorite restaurants, stores and online brands. The Knot has partnered with plenty of great companies to help you get things you'll really use, so don't overlook the convenience of adding a few gift cards to your wish list. Passionate about travel? Add an Airbnb or Hotels.com gift card along with a Delta or Southwest airline voucher. Planning home renovations? Prepare for some DIY projects with a Home Depot, Lowes or Ace Hardware gift card—and don't forget to add a Home Goods one for decorations. The possibilities are almost as endless as cash.

3. Share the request on your wedding website

Creating a wedding website is an essential part of the wedding planning process because it'll address all the important day-of details your guests need to know. In addition to sharing things like the wedding day transportation logistics and dress code details, you can also use it to expand upon your cash gift requests. When you go this route, explain why you've registered for cash and how you'll use the funds. (We'll talk more about specific wedding registry wording below.) "Attaching a cash gift request to an actual goal helps gift-givers feel like their money will carry more meaning," Torabi explains. "At the end of the day, guests want to feel like they're supporting you, and knowing their $100 contribution will, say, support your new home, is a nice touch."

4. Let family and friends spread the word

A wonderful part of having a wedding party is that they'll be able to filter some of your guest's questions. If attendees aren't sure what to buy as a wedding gift, there's a good chance they'll turn to close family members or friends for help. After you set up your registry, tell your parents, siblings and/or wedding party that cash and honeymoon contributions are important to you. Then, if they're approached by wedding guests for gift inspiration, they'll be able to spread the word and help you get what you really want for your wedding.

5. Designate a place for cards at your reception

Not all your wedding guests will feel comfortable sending their monetary gift virtually. Instead, they may want to give you a congratulatory card with a check inside at the wedding. To accommodate cash donations in person, set up a wedding card box at the reception. This cash gift idea, often called a wishing well, is a great way to keep track of all the monetary donations received on your wedding day so nothing is misplaced. Plus, having one spot to compile cards and cash gifts will make writing thank-you notes that much easier.

Photo: Madiow Photography

Asking for Money Instead of Wedding Presents Wording Examples

Looking for ideas on wording for monetary gifts only? Whether you want to add honeymoon fund wording to your registry or emphasize it on your wedding website, aim to be as personal and specific as possible. Here are a few templates to get you started—but feel free to adjust them and make them sound more like you.

Gracious note:

Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our [insert item].

Heartfelt thank you:

Thank you for being a part of our special day. If you feel inclined to give us a wedding gift, a contribution towards our [insert item] would greatly help us start newlywed life off right.

Polite request:

The most important thing to us is that you're able to come and celebrate our wedding. However, if you wish to give a gift, we would graciously accept a contribution towards our [insert item].

Sweet poem:

As we stand before our loved ones and say "I do"
The best present we could ask for is you
Should you decide you can't resist bringing a gift
Some money for our future wouldn't go amiss

Is It Rude to Ask for Cash on Your Wedding Invitation?

It's okay to ask for monetary wedding gifts, but it's not okay to do so on your formal wedding invitations. Regardless of what you're asking for, traditional etiquette for registry on wedding invitations states that you shouldn't put your registry on your invites. Since wedding gifts technically aren't required from guests, putting your gift information directly on your wedding invites can come across as presumptuous. Instead, create a wedding website that includes a link to your registry, then add your wedding website to the invitation. You could also include an insert card with additional details and list your wedding website address there. This will indirectly guide guests to your registry, which will help them find your house fund wedding registry wording, requests for cash gifts or what have you.

Additional reporting by Kate Boswell.