Wedding Gifts: Requesting No Wedding Gifts?
Q: We want to put "please no gifts" on our wedding invitation because we feel that the obligatory gift tradition is just not right, but everyone we tell scoffs at us! Are we tacky or rude for doing this? Are we the only ones who don't expect wedding gifts and just want our wedding guests to spend our special day with us?
A: Some couples do choose to put "Your presence is your present" or something like that on their invites, because they really want their guests to know that their attendance is the most special part. But at the same time, most guests want to get you a gift, something to help you begin your marriage. It's not tacky or rude to ask for no gifts, but it may make some guests feel affronted -- they were looking forward to getting you something, and it seems you don't want anything, and now they feel awkward about it. Remember -- wedding gifts are not mandatory, they are merely customary. It's gracious to let your guests make the choice of whether or not and when to give you something. If you feel really strongly about putting "no gifts" on your invites, it's not a faux pas to do so -- but maybe just spreading the word through close friends and relatives would do the trick, too. Another solution -- let everyone know you'd prefer them to donate to the charity of your choice in lieu of a gift.