Do You Need a Best Man? Here's What to Do Without One

When planning a wedding, one of the many decisions you'll likely have to make is who will be your chief groomsman or best man. Typically, your best man is a close friend, sibling, or family member who you trust to assist you throughout wedding planning and on your big day. As we know, wedding traditions don't have to be followed and you're allowed to adapt what works for you and drop the rest. This means choosing to have no best man at your wedding is an option.

If you're playing around with the idea of not having a best man but need some help making that decision, this article is for you. Albriana Shante, a destination wedding planner at Albriana Shante Events shares advice on whether you need a best man and what to do if you decide not to have one.

In this article:

• Can You Have a Wedding Without a Best Man?
• What To Keep in Mind if You Don't Have a Best Man
• Alternatives to Having a Best Man

Can You Have a Wedding Without a Best Man?

You can choose not to have a best man at your wedding and luckily there are no wedding police to stop you. Shante affirms that you don't need to have one and even says she prefers her clients don't.

"I love and prefer my couples not have a wedding party," Shante says. "It creates smoother wedding day and getting ready processes. When couples have a large wedding party it can be a distraction, and they could create more confusion."

While it may be a norm to have a best man, remember it's your wedding, so you can set your own rules and create a wedding party that feels authentic to you.

What To Keep in Mind if You Don't Have a Best Man

Sometimes people think being the best man is just about taking nice wedding photos next to the celebrant, but it's actually a job with many responsibilities. Some common best man duties include helping the groom choose their attire, throwing a bachelor's party, and helping ensure the wedding day goes smoothly. On that note, here are some things to consider if you chose not to have a best man.

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Who will plan the bachelor party?

A bachelor party is a popular pre-wedding activity that can be a final giving off before the wedding. Although it can be nice for someone who knows you best to plan that party, it isn't a must. Shante says there are companies you can hire to throw the bachelor's party for you if you don't have a best man to do it. You can also throw one yourself if you have the time and it isn't too much of a hassle.

Who will be by your side on the wedding day?

On your actual wedding day, you may need a napkin if you start crying while saying your vows, someone to keep the rings safe, and a person to pass you drinks so you stay hydrated. You also may need someone to ensure your wedding party gets everywhere on time. Consider asking your dad to be by your side that day if that is an option. Another option is to ask a friend to check on you periodically and see if you need anything throughout the day.

Shante advises getting your wedding planner to help with these duties as an option.

"Your wedding planner could assist with the exchange of the wedding day, gifts, holding the rings, and assign someone to make sure that you have your favorite drink in hand," she says.

Who will give the best man speech?

The best man often gives a heartfelt and funny speech during the wedding reception and that can add color to the big day. If you decide not to have one, think about who can give that speech in their place. You could ask a parent, mentor or friend to give the speech instead. You could also just have a wedding without a best man speech and use that time for something else like rocking out on the dance floor.

How will the wedding procession look?

In a traditional wedding procession, the best man comes out last after the rest of the bridal party. If your partner is having a maid of honor or best man, it could make the wedding procession uneven. Of course, that isn't the end of the world but you can decide how important those aesthetics are to you. It also wouldn't be unheard of to scrap the wedding party altogether.

Alternatives to Having a Best Man

At this point, you may have decided you don't want to have a best man at your wedding because you don't want the hassle that comes with it. Perhaps you don't have anyone close enough to you to fill those shoes or you have so many people who are special you'd rather not choose one. Whatever the case there are some alternatives you can consider.

Just have groomsmen.

If you're still open to having a wedding party, but just can't or don't want to choose a lead attendant, you can still have a crew of groomsmen—as long as you think they'll be able to share the responsibilities without a best man at the helm.

Have a "best pup".

Are you a dog lover, if so, Shante recommends having a best pup instead of a best man.

"Most of my couples are dog parents. So, you can use your dog as your right-hand man for when you get ready to walk down the aisle," she explains. "There are many wedding day pet sitting companies that will take care of your pet during the wedding."

Choose a sibling.

If you have a sibling, consider choosing one or more to help you on your wedding day, says Shante. They can take over best man duties you need help with before and on your wedding day. Likewise, you can choose any other family member to help be it a parent, uncle, grandparent, or cousin.

Having a wedding without a best man shouldn't make your big day any less special or enjoyable. Just consider how the absence of one may affect your pre-wedding and wedding day events and plan accordingly.