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Updated Mar 06, 2025A Complete List of Groomsmen Duties and Expectations
What does it take to be in the groom's inner circle?
The groomsmen are a significant part of the wedding party, but what is a groomsman anyway? The groomsmen (or groomswomen, or groom's people) are the attendants to the groom on his special day. The groom traditionally chooses his closest friends and relatives (regardless of gender) to be his groomsmen or groom's people—the select few tasked with the special honor of both supporting him throughout the wedding planning process and adding positive energy to each wedding event. Yes, a lot of it is fun and games, but the role of groomsmen should be taken seriously—if asked, the job entails helping one of your best friends plan and enjoy what can often be a stressful, jam-packed and nerve-racking day. We talked to Lola Akingbade of MasterPlan Events in Washington, DC who has over a decade of experience in the wedding industry, to give us a full rundown of what to do as a groomsman.
In this article:
- What Is a Groomsman?
- Groomsman Responsibility Checklist
- Prewedding Groomsmen Duties
- Wedding Day Groomsmen Duties
- Postwedding Groomsmen Duties
- Groomsmen FAQ
What Is a Groomsman?
Featuring how groomsmen traditions began to what wedding party groomsmen etiquette is like today, here's how to define a groomsman.
The Definition
The definition and role of a groomsman, groomswoman or groom's person, is pretty simple—it's someone who assists the groom before, during and after the wedding. There are a wide variety of jobs for groomsmen to handle (most notably, planning the bachelor party), but it really depends on the groom's needs. The best man (or best woman or best person) is the leader of the groomsmen, and he will organize and delegate responsibilities.
According to Akingbade, "a groomsman is typically the groom's close friend and/or relative. I like to think of a groomsman as a member of 'the groom's squad' or 'strong support system.' Their role mainly involves supporting the groom during the wedding planning as well as on the wedding day. They stand beside the groom and cheer him on on one of the biggest days of his life."
The History
Today, they're known as groomsmen. But the history of groomsmen has looked different over the years. In biblical times, the groomsmen definition was "bride-knights." If a groom did not receive the bride's family permission to marry, she was kidnapped in a practice known as "marriage by capture." The groomsmen served as his army and fought the bride's relatives until they could get away. The groomsmen meaning evolved and during the 16th century, mostly in Europe, the groomsmen were chosen for their ability to fight. They stood guard next to the groom at the altar in case someone tried to kidnap the bride or she tried to run away. At one point in time, if a bride had a large dowry, the groomsmen would dress as the groom to confuse evil-doers, evil spirits, thieves or anyone who may try to harm the couple.
FEATURED VIDEO FROM THE KNOT
How do we define "groomsman" in the 21st century? No longer needed to physically protect or guard the groom (we hope!), groomsmen now help the husband-to-be on more of an emotional level as he takes this next big life step.
Groomsman Responsibility Checklist
Want to know exactly how to be a great groomsman? This handy groomsmen checklist is downloadable, printable and complete with all the groomsmen tasks — from before, during and after the wedding — that'll help the groom on his big day!
Design: Natalie Romine
Prewedding Groomsmen Duties
What do groomsmen do before the wedding? A lot, it turns out—from attending events to buying or renting attire. We're here to break down everything to do (and what groomsmen pay for) in the months leading up to the wedding day.
Get Formalwear
Groomsmen are in charge of either assembling, buying or renting their own wedding day attire. "A groomsman would participate in conversations related to the attire the groomsmen would wear for the wedding, helping to choose the color, style, fit and whether to rent or buy," Akingbade says. "They would also rent or purchase their wedding attire (the groomsmen usually cover the cost) and attend fittings."
The groom might ask the best man to place one order for all the groomsmen's suits and tuxes online, in which case, all that's needed is to send over measurements in a timely manner. Knock this task out ASAP. No one wants the best man—or worse, the groom—having to badger anyone to get formalwear squared away.
Show Up to Prewedding Events
The groomsman is expected to attend all prewedding festivities, including the engagement party, couples shower, bachelor party and rehearsal dinner. If the groomsman lives in another town, it's okay if he can't swing multiple trips to get to every single celebration. But if they live nearby, he should be there for the couple to raise a glass (and the roof—when appropriate). While the best man will typically give a speech at the reception, a groomsman might be asked to say a little something at the rehearsal dinner, or even the reception. Just fair warning that a request for a groomsman toast could be coming down the pike.
Book Travel
Depending on where the wedding takes place, groomsmen are responsible for organizing and booking their own travel. "A groomsman may need to book their flight and reserve their hotel rooms for weddings that take place out of town," Akingbade says. "Most couples would have room blocks with discounted rates for rooms; a groomsman would be responsible for booking their own. If the wedding is local but the groom requests all groomsmen to stay over in the same hotel as the groom, then the groomsmen are responsible for booking their own rooms."
Give a Thoughtful Gift
Put some thought into a wedding present for the soonlyweds. Peruse the couple's registry to find something they'll love—and feel free to go in on a bigger ticket item with one or the rest of the groomsmen. More buying power is a plus, and two heads are often better than one when it comes to gift ideas.
Co-Plan the Bachelor Party
The best man is often the lead organizer for the bachelor party—which typically takes place between one and three months before the wedding—but the groomsmen play an essential role in its planning.
While a surprise bachelor party may sound like fun, the groom should have a say in the timing, location, guest list and activities. Once discussed, the best man and groomsmen are responsible for setting a budget, choosing a location, picking a theme, booking travel and accomodations (whether it's a hotel or bachelor-friendly Airbnb) and creating a guest list. They also need to organize a few carefully planned activities (in advance)—from restaurant reservations to tee times, these outings can turn a solid bachelor party into a memorable one.
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Once the weekend is wrapped, it's time to divy up expenses. Typically, each groomsman pays for himself—travel, accommodations, food, activities, swag and more. The groom's team may also pay for part or all of the groom's expenses, or at least chip in for meals and activities. According to Akingbade, this also includes pitching in on a bachelor party gift for the groom.
Wedding Day Groomsmen Duties
Now that the bachelor party is done, it's time for the main event. Our biggest piece of advice? Don't stay out too late partying at the rehearsal dinner—peak performance is needed on the wedding day.
Help the Groom Get Ready
What does a groomsman do the morning of the wedding? Well, one of the most crucial groomsmen responsibilities is simply showing up on time. He should arrive to the getting-ready location at the requested time (potentially with everyone's coffee orders, breakfast and/or snacks in hand!), and have his complete attire clean, fitted and ready to go. He may also be asked to do odd jobs, like hold items that the groom needs for the ceremony (such as vows), or help with other pre-wedding tasks (like picking up Uncle Al at the airport) or decorating the getaway car.
Be There for Support
This one may go without saying, but the main job of groomsmen is offering the soon-to-be-wed love and support. It's a big day for the groom, filled with lots of nerves and excitement. At any given point, he may need a hug, squeeze on the shoulder or a last-minute pep talk. Says Akingbade: "Groomsmen are responsible for keeping the energy level up in the groom's suite and having an overall positive attitude so that the groom is calm and at ease."
Be on Wedding Ceremony Duty
The groomsman should plan to get to the ceremony site 30 to 45 minutes early. He may be asked to usher guests to their seats before the ceremony, so he should ask the couple if there are any special seating requirements. If the couple's having a traditional procession, he'll walk down the aisle with a bridesmaid (or bridesman) or maybe a member of the family. If the couple has separate ushers, he should keep an eye on them and not hesitate to jump in if they look like they need backup.
Get Ready to Smile and Pose
Believe it or not, posing for photographers is a big part of groomsmen responsibilities. A groomsman will be asked to participate in the group photos before or after the ceremony. Yes, some of the poses may be a little cheesy, but that's all part of the fun. He should be a good sport and play along for the sake of the newlyweds. We promise the photos and memories will be worth it in the end.
Crush the Reception
At the reception, the groomsman will likely be introduced together with the bridesmaid he escorted down the aisle. Then, he should be prepared to serve as kind of an information center and point person for any guests with questions (think: Do you know where the restroom is? Can you help me find my way to the cocktail hour balcony?). He may also be tasked with carrying stuff (sounds silly, but it's true)—taking gifts to a holding area, hanging on to the groom's phone, bringing favors to the reception, etc.
He may also be asked to dance with the groom's grandmother, the bridesmaids, a lonely flower girl or other single guests throughout the night. He should keep his eyes and ears open for opportunities to be helpful—otherwise, the night (and the bar) is his to enjoy.
Postwedding Groomsmen Duties
According to Akingbade, "a groomsman does not have a lot of responsibilities after the wedding." But there are still just a few of groomsmen duties to handle after it's all said and done.
Stick Around and Help
The groomsmen duties and responsibilities don't end when the newlyweds leave the venue. The groomsman should stick around and see if he can help clean up or break down. The couple's family may need a hand taking things to their cars or packing up items to bring to the hotel. This thoughtful gesture will mean a lot.
Offer Transportation
Though the newlyweds may already be well on their way to their honeymoon, the groomsmen can offer rides to the airport for the guests visiting from out of town.
Return the Formalwear
We get it—it's been a long night, and the groomsman probably just wants to crash after the excitement of all the festivities, but don't forget to return the tux! Many suit rental companies have strict, next-day return policies. Forgetting to bring back the tux on time could result in late fees. Set a reminder in advance so as not to worry about it.
Put His Feet Up
All groomsmen duties have officially been completed! Now it's time to relax. The groomsman should kick his feet up and pat himself on the back for doing a job well done.
Groomsmen FAQ
Aside from all of the duties listed above, there's a lot of etiquette that goes into being a groomsman. Where does he stand? Does he have to give a speech? We asked our experts to answer all the burning questions about groomsman etiquette.
Do Groomsmen Walk Down the Aisle?
"It varies from wedding to wedding as to whether groomsmen walk down the aisle," Akingbade says. "Some groomsmen walk from the side door with the officiant and the groom. For some weddings, the groomsmen would walk down the aisle paired with a bridesmaid or they could also walk alone. They usually stand at the altar alongside the groom—the best man will stand next to the groom, with the groomsmen lined up next to him. If they sit, they would sit on the first or second row on the side the groom is standing, which is typically on the right side if you are facing the altar area."
Do Groomsmen Give Speeches?
"The best man traditionally gives a speech at the wedding reception, and most often, the groomsmen do not (though that's not a hard-and-fast rule)," Akingbade says. "An example of when this could take place is if the groom selected their brother as the best man, he might still want his closest friend (who is not a sibling) to speak. Groomsmen may also be asked to give speeches at the rehearsal dinner."
Are Groomsmen Supposed to Be Single?
Groomsmen may be single, dating, in a relationship or married—relationship status has no bearing on whether or not a person should be in the wedding party. The groom should focus on choosing his closest people (regardless of gender) to stand beside him on the wedding day, and as long as said people can handle the responsibilities of being a groomsman, it's all good.
Additional reporting by Shyla Watson
