Here’s a List of Who Pays for the Bridal Shower

The beloved bridal shower is a time-honored tradition intended to gift the couple with goods for their newlywed home and lifestyle. But since traditions evolve, you might be wondering who pays for the bridal shower—and who's responsible for throwing it? We're here to break it all down for you with advice from Elaine Swann, etiquette expert and founder of The Swann School of Protocol, and Jason Mitchell Kahn, New York-based wedding planner and founder of Jason Mitchell Kahn & Co. They share their expert tips about exactly who pays for a bridal shower, how much this event typically costs and how to navigate the bridal shower budget.

Speaking of budgets, once you've finalized it and decided who's in charge of planning, there's one more crucial step…finding a bridal shower venue. Discover an abundance of options on The Knot Vendor Marketplace and narrow down your search by clicking the "Guest capacity" and "Venue type" filters.

At a Glance:

• The bridal shower host, which is traditionally the maid of honor, pays for some of the celebration.
• The average cost of a bridal shower is $50–$150+ per person.
• It's recommended that bridal shower hosts have a budget of $40–$125 per person for the event.

In this article: Who Pays? | How Much Does It Cost? | Bridal Shower Budget

Who Pays for the Bridal Shower?

In short, the host is the one who pays for the bridal shower—or at least some of it. Most commonly, this is the maid of honor, but the couple's relatives, friends or even the to-be-weds can all pitch in to cover the cost of the bridal or wedding shower. (We'll discuss this topic more later.) Keep in mind that the bridal shower cost is an added expense that might not be feasible for some people, especially for anyone who's also in the wedding party or putting money towards the wedding. So if people aren't able to contribute financially, don't assume that means they aren't interested in helping organize the party in other ways. "There are plenty of other non-financial methods to contribute, including sending out invitations, setting up the food, decorating the space and cleaning up," says Swann.

Does the maid of honor pay for the bridal shower?

It's usually the maid of honor's duty to spearhead the bridal shower planning, but they're not expected to pay for the entire party. The MOH can approach the bride's parents, close relatives and wedding party members to get the ball rolling. If you're the maid of honor, start by sharing what you're able to financially contribute (beyond buying a bridal shower gift) and crowdsource from the rest of the group. This will help you establish a starting point for your budget and determine whether the shower will be a simple tea party at home or a more elaborate event at a venue.

Do bridesmaids pay for the bridal shower?

Similar to the bachelorette party expenses, bridesmaids will probably be asked to pay for some of the bridal shower, although it depends on the type of party and who's throwing the event. Most of the bill will be paid for by the person throwing the event, but bridesmaids could be asked to contribute to the smaller expenses, like bridal shower decorations, favors or surprises for the bride-to-be.

Does the mother of the bride pay for the bridal shower?

In most cases, it's the mother of the bride's duty to help plan and pay for the bridal shower. Similar to the wedding budget, the to-be-weds' parents should expect to contribute financially if they want a say in the bridal shower details, like the guest list and venue. The mother of the bride can also split the cost of the bridal shower with other relatives who are close with the bride.

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Does the couple pay for the bridal shower?

Depending on their preference, the couple may choose to plan and pay for the bridal shower themselves. This is a popular decision for couple's showers, which involve both to-be-weds (instead of just a bride) and a larger group of guests.

How Much Does a Bridal Shower Cost?

Now that you know who pays for the wedding shower, let's talk numbers. According to Kahn, the average cost of a bridal shower depends on the cost of living where the shower is being thrown. "A good rule of thumb is to think about how much it costs in your area for a nice brunch, plus some extras. You'll need to factor in food, drinks, service and tax per person. In New York, I would approximate $75–$100 per head for a bridal shower. Shower invitations can be as little as $1 per invite for something really basic and can go upwards of $30 per unit for custom ones. I would then estimate another $20–$50 per person for enhancements to the experience, like decor and activities."

If you have the means, hiring a bridal shower planner brings several advantages. "They typically know the best spots in town that are well-suited for an event like this and can streamline the planning process," says Kahn. "Showers can grow in scale—to the size of a small wedding—and if knowing that overwhelms you, a professional might save you a lot of stress."

Stressing about how much a bridal shower costs? Kahn suggests, "If learning what this could cost intimidates you, try to find a venue that's relatively turn-key and won't require much additional decor. You can save money with invitations by doing them online. Showers are meant to be a time for fun and celebration, so focus on how to make that happen rather than having the best of everything."

Bridal Shower Cost Considerations

Need a reference for what you'll need or want for a bridal shower? Check out the bridal shower expenses some people pay for below.

• Bridal Shower Venue: $0–$2,000+
• Bridal Shower Planner: $25–$80+ per hour
• Bridal Shower Invitations: $1–$30+ per invitation
• Bridal Shower Decorations: $50–$200+
• Bridal Shower Food and Drinks: $20–$100+ per person
• Bridal Shower Games: $30–$100

What Is a Reasonable Bridal Shower Budget?

Very much like the wedding itself, you'll need to select your venue, activities, catering and plan the guest list with your budget in mind. It's also important to ensure that your bridal shower budget includes taxes and tips for any professional vendors you hire.

On the upper end of the scale, we recommend budgeting $125 per person for an event at a venue. This would cover more elaborate bridal shower ideas, like paper invitations, a brunch or luncheon, one or two drinks, cake, floral centerpieces, games and prizes. At the lower end of the scale, we recommend budgeting $40 per person for an at-home event with light refreshments provided by a caterer. This would also cover wine or bubbly, simple decorations, games, prizes and bridal shower invitations (which you can find on The Knot Invitations).

Need some bridal shower ideas on a budget? You can minimize the cost of the bridal shower even further if the folks throwing the event can all pitch in and contribute their time to DIY most of it. Homemade nibbles and a glass or two of wine are perfectly acceptable. Remember, the purpose of the event is to shower the couple with gifts before the big day, so you don't need to get carried away with too many bells and whistles.

How to Split Bridal Shower Costs

• If multiple people are helping financially, Swann recommends putting one person in charge of collecting the money "and then designating that person or someone else to make the purchases." Swann continues addressing the bridal shower etiquette surrounding the party fund. "By doing this, there's a clear line of communication in terms of who's contributing what. Outline how much you're expecting from everyone involved so there's no confusion or hurt feelings down the road," she says. We suggest creating a bridal shower Venmo to easily keep track of everyone's payments.

Additional reporting by Diane Hall and Samantha Iacia