The Holiday Stress Is Real—Tackle It as a Couple With This Expert Advice

Similar to Thanksgiving, dealing with holiday stress and finding balance can leave you with a lot on your plate. But rest assured that you aren't on your own when it comes to holiday stress management: Hopefully, like in all aspects of your life, you can lean on your partner for support and offer them security and understanding in return.

Just like all aspects of holiday prep (e.g. gift shopping and trips to the grocery store), planning ahead of time is key. So, read on to learn how to combat holiday stress as a couple. With these expert tips on managing holiday stress, the season is bound to be both merry and bright.

Meet the Experts:

• Susan Harrington, a licensed professional counselor and marriage and family therapist, has over twenty years of experience working with families and partner(s).
• Amy Braun, a licensed clinical professional counselor, has been helping women (specifically mothers) along with couples to find their safe space for over fifteen years.

In this article:

• Why Do We Experience Holiday Stress?
• How You & Your Partner Can Manage Holiday Stress

Why Do We Experience Holiday Stress?

While the holidays are of course supposed to be a sweet, joyous time of year, we all know that between making sugar cookies, gift-giving and preparing the perfect dinner celebration, seasonal stress can creep up.

According to Susan Harrington, this is because the holidays mark one of the busiest times of year for the mind, body and spirit. From family dynamics to financial strain and societal pressures, it can all lead to stress during the holidays. As Harrington shares, this time of year "creates a lot of stress for those of us who want everything to be picture-perfect."

Family dynamics

"From gathering with family and friends and missing those who aren't with us to trying to buy gifts and traveling, the countless number of anxiety-producing moments can skyrocket during any holiday season," says Harrington. In families that are separated, blended or estranged, holiday celebrations can look a bit different than just going to your or your partner's childhood home—and the holiday stress of attending multiple family celebrations can be overwhelming. The anxiousness of having to attend

gatherings where people you don't get along can be especially difficult to deal with.

Financial stress

"Holiday-related financial stress arises from the costs associated with gift-giving, travel, decorations and other holiday expenses," Amy Braun says. "Many couples also feel pressure to spend money on one another during the holidays, which can strain budgets and lead to financial worries."

Societal expectations

Because society often promotes idealized images of holiday perfection, there can be an unrealistic expectation of what the season is supposed to consist of or look like. This can lead couples and families into going into debt or sacrificing their well-being. No wonder holiday stress management is needed…

How You & Your Partner Can Manage Holiday Stress

The good news is that dealing with holiday stress can be accomplished in a variety of ways. If you're looking to learn how to handle holiday stress together, our experts have some tried-and-true recommendations for you and your partner to ease the tension.

1. Recognize that not all stress is bad

"Did you know there is actually "good" stress?" As Harrington explains, "The overarching benefits of good stress come from feeling hopeful and successful." When it comes to holiday stress, we can try to identify what is meaningful about the holidays to help us get through the rough patches.

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2. Plan ahead

Creating a holiday plan with your partner can be a great way to work together to manage holiday stress. "Outline which events you'll attend and how you'll allocate your time," Braun recommends. "Consider alternating between both families or participating in joint celebrations if possible."

3. Reflect

If possible, reflect back on years past and consider what has worked and what has not worked with your other half. Did you attend too many events? Was it unrealistic to host? Did you overspend? Try to avoid pitfalls from the past during this upcoming holiday season, Braun recommends.

4. Seek out professional guidance

Harrington has a specific recommendation for those feeling especially challenged this year: "Marriage and family therapists are a great resource to support healthier and happier gatherings with families because our specialty is finding the meaning of connecting with others," she shares. So don't be shy about seeking professional mental health resources.

5. Open communication

When it comes to managing stress during the holidays, having open communication as a couple is vital. By Identifying your needs and expectations about the holidays and communicating them to your partner, you can discuss your priorities and any potential sources of stress ahead of time.

6. Make a budget

Financial stress is always difficult to experience—especially during the holiday season. To combat this, try creating a holiday budget that both you and your partner can agree on and stick to. This will help prevent the potential of financial stress and keep you both on the same page when it comes to spending.

7. Simplify celebrations

Sometimes, we have to understand that we can't do it all. If you're feeling overwhelmed by multiple dinner celebrations or buying stocking stuffers in addition to a larger gift, try to simplify things. Focus on what truly matters to you both and stick to that. According to Braun, this

may mean scaling back on decorations, gift-giving or the number of events attended.

8. Task. Break. Repeat.

The best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. At the recommendation of Harrington, Holiday stress management can begin with each person prioritizing one task at a time, tackling theirs together and then taking a break. One by one, it can be repeated—and everything will get done.

9. Create new traditions

Lastly, if you're looking to deal with family holiday stress, consider establishing your own holiday traditions as a couple. This can reduce the stress of trying to meet conflicting family traditions and help you build your own meaningful experiences.